ew Page 2334 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Carlos Gomez Is A Dancing Ninja Turtle
Mark Reynolds was a guest on MLB Network's Yukfest Live with human balloon-from-the-supermarket-checkout-line Kevin Millar and Chris Rose Wednesday afternoon and got himself videobombed by Carlos Gomez. This was no run-of-the-mill videobomb, though, Gomez was dressed up as Leonardo the Teenage Mut...

How Frequently Does <em>The New York Times</em> Use "Fart," "Poop," And "Butt"?
This here is a tool that looks up the frequency of words used in the New York Times, both in the percentage of and how many total articles the word appeared in. We put it to terrible use. ...

Asshole Cannot Find Pen, Writes Entire <em>NYT</em> Trend Piece About It
Even by the standards of fake trend pieces in the The New York Times, today's column in about "The Demise of the Pen" in—where else?—the fashion and style section is exceptionally breathtaking in its presumptuousness. Join me now and marvel as writerer Nick Bilton turns a moment of sheer banality i...

Yankees Ground Crew Struggles To Get Tarp On Field During Driving Rain
After some very nearby flashes of lightning, the skies opened and dumped a whole mess of rain on the Bronx tonight. The Yankees ground crew struggled mightily to get the tarp on the field as the rain kept pouring and accumulating on the tarp, and the wind kept whipping. This wasn't a momentary del...

Ruben Tejada Leaves Game After Taking Fastball To The Skull
Ruben Tejada left today's Mets-Mariners game in Seattle after being hit in the head by a 93 mph fastball from Taijuan Walker. ...

Audubon Society Calls New Vikings Stadium "A Death Trap" For Birds
One of the more distinguishing features of the new Vikings stadium, set to open in 2016, is the huge glass exterior. But birds, who are stupid, would not call that a selling point. They would call it a dying point....

Kid At Dwyane Wade's Basketball Camp Demands To Know Why He Flops
If only there was video of the kid actually asking Dwyane Wade why he flops. That would be beautiful. Wade's explanation of the story is a decent consolation prize....

Jonathan Lucroy Saved The Brewers, Who Need Him To Keep It Up
Jonathan Lucroy was never supposed to be a star. He was a third-round draft pick; according to Baseball Reference, which keeps track of such things, he never made any of the major top 100 prospects lists; and entering his age-26 season, he had a career .260/.307/.366 batting line. ...

Crowd-Funded Brewery Campaigns Are Bullshit
Crowd-funding is a great hustle. Remember a couple weeks ago when some dude threatened not to make potato salad unless we bought him a solid-gold pony with diamonds for eyes, and we actually went for it? Of course, many professional bloviators saw this as the exact moment when society’s collecti...

Chase Headley Meets New Team Mid-Game, Hits Walk-Off Single In 14th
That's newly-acquired Yankees third baseman Chase Headley meeting his new coaches and teammates for the first time since he was traded from the Padres earlier in the day. He had to catch a flight from Chicago, where San Diego was set to play the Cubs, so he was not expected to get to the stadium o...

Jets Fans Can Earn Rewards Points For Not Being Assholes
The Jets have announced a new rewards program for its season-ticket holders, in which they can win things like Super Bowl tickets and a ride on the team's charter flight. All it'll take to accrue points is to show up, and not to be ejected from MetLife Stadium for being a drunken, belligerent mess. ...

Dustin Ackley Unmoved By His Own Home Run-Robbing Catch
Dustin Ackley was kicked out of second base when Robinson Cano signed with the Seattle Mariners, but last night against the Mets, he proved to be a fine left fielder....

Yankees Pitcher Shane Greene Can't Throw To First To Save His Life
Shane Greene made his third career start and first ever at Yankee Stadium tonight against the Texas Rangers. He had three errors on the night, two throwing to first base. It was not pretty....

Watch Arsenal Players Try And Fail To Talk Like New Yorkers
We've all had one too many drinks and suddenly decided it was a great time to impress people with our spot-on English accent. Right? Right?!? ...

Matt Bonner Brings Larry O'Brien Trophy To New Hampshire For A Day
San Antonio Spurs bench player Matt Bonner is one of the few active athletes New Hampshire can boast about. (Sam Fuld's the other big name on that list, which should tell you something.) The Red Mamba grew up in Concord and played for the high school's basketball team, and look at him now, a two-tim...


Colby Lewis Mad At Opponent For Trying To Help His Team Win
Another day, another MLB player upset over something totally benign....

Rival Fans Pay Tribute To Newcastle Fans On Plane Shot Down Over Ukraine
John Alder and Liam Sweeney were two Newcastle United superfans among the 298 listed passengers flying from Amsterdam to Kuala Lumpur on Malaysia Airlines flight MH17, which was shot down near the Ukraine-Russia border. They were headed to New Zealand to watch the Magpies preseason tour, with games ...

Rob Ryan Saunters Around Airport With Three Pizzas And Plush Animal
Few people are having a better NFL offseason than Saints defensive coordinator Rob Ryan. So far, we've seen the more unkempt Ryan brother at Mardi Gras, St. Patrick's Day, and the city's Greek Festival. Our latest documentation shows him in a more subdued state at an airport, but he seems ready to t...

How Rupert Murdoch Could Go To War With ESPN
The blockbuster news that Rupert Murdoch bid $80 billion for Time Warner—and was at least temporarily rebuffed—points to an impending seismic shift in the media landscape. And, as the New York Times points out today, nowhere would that shift be felt more than in the business of televised sports. A F...