ew Page 2529 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Lightning Won't Be Stopped
The Lightning appear to own Henrik Lundqvist. The Rangers goalie has now given up six goals in back-to-back games, and of six games this season in which he’s allowed five or more goals, the last four have come against Tampa Bay. This is not to suggest that the usually dependable Lundqvist has some p...
Jets Look At QB Depth Chart, Sigh Deeply, Name Geno Smith Starter
The Jets have made a lot of impressive decisions this offseason, and that’s not the setup for a joke. Darrelle Revis came back, the already-fearsome defensive line improved with draft pick Leonard Williams, and they snagged Brandon Marshall for a fifth-round pick. There’s a lot of talent everywhere—...
This Mascot Is A Piece Of Poop. It's Poop.
Reader Kyle alerts us to the existence of Mr. Dingle, the official mascot of California’s Victor Valley Wastewater Reclamation Authority. Mr. Dingle is poop....
So, Did James Harden Win You Over?
If any James Harden fans are still looking for a way to convince James Harden haters that the Rockets’ shooting guard and MVP runner-up is in fact a legitimate superstar and not the NBA equivalent of a Mortal Kombat spammer, they need look no further than last night’s Game 1 against the Warriors....
Steph Curry Has A Great Sports Baby
We like sports babies around here, because sports babies are cuter than regular babies. That’s a fact. So it is with great pleasure that we welcome Steph Curry’s daughter, Riley, into the ranks of the world’s great sports babies....
Why <i>Not</i> Allow Kickass Header Goals?
The best moment of last night’s triple-OT Blackhawks win didn’t even count. Andrew Shaw’s headbutt goal in the second overtime was waved off, quite possibly for being too awesome to process at 1 in the morning. Things worked out in the end for Chicago, but did we and future highlight reels really ne...
Potential Double OT-Winning Goal Disallowed For Being Too Awesome
Hockey players regularly play soccer in the locker room before games, and Blackhawks forward Andrew Shaw pulled his best Ronaldo impression when he headed in a goal that left the city of Chicago thinking they’d won Game 2 of the Western Conference Final in double overtime. But no! It turns out that’...
NBA Writer Wants To Yank His Crank To Wolves Owner's Wife
For the second straight NBA draft lottery, the sports media couldn’t keep its collective dick in its collective pants. Last year, Bucks owner Wes Edens had his 18-year-old daughter, Mallory, represent the team at the lottery, and sportswriters jizzed all over their computer screens. This year there ...
Timberwolves Will Draft First, Knicks The Big Loser Of The Lottery
The NBA held the annual draft lottery Tuesday night, and as usual it provided drama in equal measures of hope and disappointment. This is the order teams will be picking in next month:...
A Perfect Picnic Beer For Fruit Realists
The Fruits of the Field are the very finest family of solid foodstuff, preferable even to the glorious Meats, Cheeses, and Processed Grains, and eons better than the mere Vegetables, Candies, and Gelatins. This is because fruits are generally attractive (even the meatiest among us will admit that a ...
How To Win Your First Week At A New Job
The nice thing about a new job is that it probably won’t start sucking immediately. It’ll be easy at first—kind of like the first week of class, where the only thing expected of you is your presence and appropriate clothing (anything beyond pajamas). But unlike the first week of school, your first w...
Robert Kraft Will Not Appeal The Patriots' Penalties
Citing a desire to end this now, Patriots owner Bob Kraft announced that he will “reluctantly” accept the NFL’s penalties for Ballghazi: New England will pay its $1 million fine and lose two draft picks. ...
The Dispute Between Robert Kraft And Roger Goodell Just Got Sexy
As the Patriots and NFL clandestinely negotiate a mutual agreement to avoid legal war, Adam Schefter hints that owner Robert Kraft and commissioner Roger Goodell are now back on good terms. Schefter comes to this conclusion because a source told him that Kraft and Goodell hung out on a couch and hug...
Report: The NFL Asked The Patriots To Make Themselves Look Guilty
And the Patriots complied! Ballghazi by this point is a stacked farce, where every new outrageous development only serves to obscure why we were supposed to be outraged in the first place. But one very paradoxical question still looms large: If the Patriots, as they maintain, shouldn’t be punished b...
The Ben Bishop Save That Brought Some Sanity To The Lightning's Win
So rarely does a four-goal game have such an obviously pivotal moment as did last night’s 6-2 Lightning win to even their series with the Rangers at a game apiece. Rather than the laugher the score suggests, it was, for most of its runtime, a tense, thrilling game: maybe the fastest and most wide-op...
Report: NFL And Pats Participating In "Back-Channel Conversations"
The NFL and New England Patriots find themselves in a messy dispute that has the potential to irreparably damage the league. The NFL levied a harsh punishment upon Tom Brady and the Patriots based upon middling evidence, and are basically making up league rules on the fly. Meanwhile, Tom Brady’s app...
Lightning Score Rare 3-On-5 Shorthanded Goal
Hockey fans watching tonight’s Eastern Conference Final Game 2 got a very rare treat: a three-on-five double shorthanded goal by Tampa Bay’s Tyler Johnson, whose breakaway score came only after video replay overturned the on-ice “no goal” call....
Bass Ale Sucks; Drink One Of These Instead
It can’t be good for any beer blogger’s soggy soul to start the week by putting the word “sucks” in a headline, so I’ll try to remedy that by sharing some happy brewski news I heard yesterday afternoon: It seems that yet another new brewery is coming to my area. Everett, Mass., a lovable if not quit...
Robert Kraft: The NFL Hasn't Been Fair To The Patriots
Patriots owner Robert Kraft has clammed up since his team was hit with significant discipline for its alleged ball-deflating ways, with the pushback against the NFL coming from third parties, on social media, and in a 20,000-word rebuttal/manifesto that would’ve made Ted Kaczynski proud. No longer: ...
Carlos Gómez: No Concussion After Taking 97-mph Fastball To The Skull
Carlos Gómez avoided serious injury yesterday as medical evaluations concluded the Brewers outfielder did not suffer a concussion after being drilled in the head by a 97-mph Noah Syndergaard fastball at Citi Field. He even had a friendly Twitter conversation about the incident:...