ew Page 2581 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

God Bless The Brooklyn Nets' PR Staff
Numbers are all the rage in sports today. Basketball's no exception. Every well-intentioned team has snapped up a stathead or several and stuck 'em in the front office. But we assume they don't fraternize too much with the public relations types. If they did, we wouldn't get nuggets like this....

Oklahoma State Fan Charged With Beating 9-Year-Old Son Because The Kid Roots For Oklahoma
That's the story out of Perkins, Okla., which is about 15 minutes south of Stillwater, where Oklahoma State is located. Cops there have arrested 42-year-old Gannon Mendez and charged him with one count of child abuse. KFOR has the details:...

How To Jerk Off In A War Zone: Servicemembers Weigh In
Last week, we published a military doctor's very useful field guide to masturbating while on active duty. Unsurprisingly, it elicited plenty of comment on the topic from experienced servicepeople, some of which we have collected for your enjoyment. Got anything to add? Leave a comment in the discus...

Michael Jordan's Trainer Says He Could Average 20 A Night If He Came Back
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: It's not true, but he can say what he wants....

Journeyman Baseball Player Gets Hurt While "Trying To Be A Gentleman" To A Pitching Machine
On Friday, Casey Kotchman signed a free-agent deal with the Marlins, his seventh team in 10 MLB seasons. He was brought on, at least in part, because Logan Morrison is coming off knee surgery. Only now Kotchman will be out for at least a few days, too. During a drill yesterday, he accidentally ran i...

Nine Guys Putt Into A Single Hole And It's Sort Of Impressive In A Useless Way
Things we did not know: Campbell University, in North Carolina, has a PGA-accredited golf management program. It "allows students to acquire the specialized knowledge and skills necessary for success in the golf industry." One of those skills is trick shots. Each month, the program has a competiti...

Dale Murphy Once Got A Lame Autograph From Richard Nixon
Yesterday, former Atlanta Braves star and beloved-by-the-internet old dude Dale Murphy decided to celebrate President's Day by showing his Twitter followers a picture of one of his prized pieces of memorabilia: a baseball with Richard Nixon's autograph on it. The autograph reads, "To Dale Murphy, f...

It's A Long Offseason. Here's A.J. McCarron's Car With A Boot On It.
Fresh from Reddit, here's a photo of A.J. McCarron's SUV in what appears to be this parking lot behind Bryant Hall. The submitter says McCarron was one of four football players whose cars got clamped, since they didn't have a parking pass for that particular lot....

Why Did A Magazine Snip The Balls Off Its Unflattering Lance Armstrong Story?
Anybody wondering how Lance Armstrong got away with what he got away with for so long need look no further than the editorial offices of Indianapolis Monthly magazine....

Why Is Geno Auriemma Tapping Baylor Coach Kim Mulkey's Ass In This Photo?
The Associated Press last night put 18 photos from the Baylor-UConn women's basketball game in its image archive. One of them is the photo you see to the right (click to enlarge), which moved on the wire with the following explanation-free caption:...

Goalkeeper Collapses On Pitch From Heat Exhaustion, Terrible Human Being Scores On Him
This took place on Sunday, during a match in Peru’s top level. Club Union Comercio was down a goal with 20 minutes remaining when goalie Juan Flores corralled a ball before collapsing to the grass. It was heat exhaustion and Flores was fine, but we’ve seen far too many players go down like that with...

Is It Possible To <em>Accidentally</em> Break A Player's Jaw With A Two-Handed Stick Swing?
A major junior hockey disciplinarian is going to have to decide, after the QMJHL indefinitely suspended Moncton's Ross Johnston for this play. Johnston's stick struck Halifax's Brian Lovell in the face, breaking his jaw, and requiring surgery that will keep him out the rest of the season. But is i...

Andrew Bynum's Hair Is Just All Fucked Up Now
The only thing worth talking about that has come from Andrew Bynum's first season with the 76ers has been the big man's ever-changing, ridiculous hairstyles. Today, Bynum met with the local media to give an update on the progress of his rehab (Spoiler alert: he's still a few weeks away from returni...

Luke Scott Hath Slain The Hellboar
Everyone's favorite gun-humping birther, Luke Scott, arrived at the Tampa Bay Rays' spring training facility with a special guest: the stuffed head of a slain hellboar. How did Scott come to claim this bloody prize? By sticking the beast with a spear, of course! Scott told Rays Report that the boar...

Reports: "Boxes And Boxes" Of Steroids Found In Oscar Pistorius's Home
This might seem ancillary, in the wake of Oscar Pistorius's transformation from "inspirational athlete" to "accused murderer," but the news that banned drugs were found in Pistorius's home may end up playing a major role in his trial—a line of argument by the prosecution or the defense....

ESPN Announcers Dress As Abraham Lincoln, George Washington, And Ben Franklin To Celebrate President's Day. Wait, Ben Franklin?
We're all for ESPN's talent going the extra mile to spice up a broadcast, especially when it's a less-than-thrilling midweek Rutgers-Villanova matchup. So here's LaPhonso Ellis and Adam Amin getting into the holiday spirit and dressing up like their favorite presidents last night: Lincoln for Ellis...

Bill Raftery Asks Jay Bilas If He's Ever Been Ridden
If you dig those awkward silences, this one's for you: a discussion about "riding the hot hand" during last night's Notre Dame-Pitt game led to Bill Raftery springing a loaded question on Jay Bilas. Nervous chuckling, and a "moving right along" segue followed....

Andy Roddick, Who Retired In September, Rose Two Spots In This Week's ATP Rankings
Hell of a week for Andy Roddick, who jumped up two spots in this week's ATP rankings despite not having played in six months. But when you're the 40th best men's tennis player in the world, these are the kinds of things you can do. (Also when you're part of a severely flawed ranking formula.)...

Meet The Cowboys' New $2 Million Luxury Bus, Named "The Elegant Lady"
Jerry Jones's wet dream of crystal and chrome has hit the road. "The Elegant Lady," the Dallas Cowboys' new bus, made a brief appearance at the Super Bowl, but it's officially being unveiled ahead of the NFL combine. Forty-five feet long, 8'6" wide, and 13 feet tall, the coach will shuttle Cowboys b...

Prosecutor: Oscar Pistorius Strapped On His Prosthetic Legs Before Shooting Reeva Steenkamp Through The Bathroom Door
The funeral of Reeva Steenkamp was held today at a private ceremony in Port Elizabeth, while 700 miles away, in a Pretoria court, Oscar Pistorius was charged with her murder. For the first time, Pistorius's lawyer officially offered up the defense he's going to use: that Pistorius mistook Steenkamp,...