ew Page 2737 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

So, How Did The World's Best Soccer Team Manage Without The World's Best Player?
Barcelona traveled to Paris yesterday to take on Paris Saint-Germain in the first leg of what might be the most intriguing matchup of the Champions League quarterfinals round. PSG, bought by a group of Qatari investors last year, has quickly become one of the richest clubs in the world. This season,...

Former Auburn Football Players Accuse Program Of Racism, Bribery, And Numerous Other Violations
Two years ago, four Auburn University football players—Antonio Goodwin, Shaun Kitchens, Mike McNeil and Dakota Mosley—were arrested and charged with armed robbery. Almost immediately, all four players were dismissed from the team by then-coach Gene Chizik, and everyone got on with their lives. Now, ...

For The Next Remake, Just Add More Blood: <i>Evil Dead</i>, Reviewed.
1. A good rule of thumb: If you are holding a book in your hands and you notice that someone has gone to the trouble of shutting that book with barbed wire, do not attempt to open this book. If you do open this book, then do not read from it–particularly when previous patrons of the Satan Public Lib...

Predictably, Louisville And Adidas Are Now Trying To Profit From Kevin Ware's Injury
The shirt you see above is currently available for purchase in the Louisville basketball team store for the price of $24.99. "Rise to the Occasion" is a slogan that has appeared on Louisville gear before, but this version is infused with Kevin Ware's jersey number, a move that is specifically design...

The Louisville Cardinals' New Warmups Are A Tribute To Kevin Ware
This is what Kevin Ware's teammates will be wearing when they take the floor on Saturday to warm up for their Final Four game against Wichita State. Meanwhile, the Mayor of Louisville has declared this Friday "Cardinal Red Day," and is encouraging everyone in the city to wear red in honor of Ware an...

Vote, You Vulgar Shits: The Curse Word Bracket Elite Eight
Sweet Sixteen voting is over in the Deadspin Curse Word Bracket, and let's all give a big round of applause to "rimjob" and "fuckface," the two seemingly unstoppable 11-seeds who now must go up the 1-seeds in their respective regions. Now is the time for you to choose your Filthy Four–you four favo...

Mark Emmert Is The NCAA's Teflon Don
Since taking over as president of the NCAA in 2010, Mark Emmert has overseen the unjust railroading of the Penn State football program in the aftermath of the Jerry Sandusky scandal, as well as the shoddily run investigation into the University of Miami, which only succeeded in revealing the NCAA to...

It Was Carmelo Vs. Kobe, On Opposite Coasts
Kobe Bryant might be the most predictable man on Earth. He took the court knowing that Carmelo Anthony had just gone for 50 points against Miami, with a stat sheet thick with shots and little else. In L.A., Shaquille O'Neal's jersey was being retired at halftime. Phil Jackson was in the house. Was t...

This Astros Fan Is Cooler Than You Will Ever Be
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

"Nice Going, Boyfriend!" Perfect Gentleman Runs Away From Home Run Ball, Lets It Hit Female Companion In The Face
This is why it is perfectly acceptable to bring a glove to a baseball game....

Here's How Rangers Broadcasters Reacted To Yu Darvish Blowing His Perfect Game With A Single Out Remaining
Japanese pitching phenom Yu Darvish nearly entered the record books tonight in Houston until Marwin Gonzalez singled up the middle with two outs in the ninth, ruining Darvish's attempt to complete a perfect game against the Astros....

It's An Enthusiastic Crowd At Rogers Centre Tonight, Especially These Two Blue Jays Fans Who Got A Bit Handjobby
Blowjob pantomimes are so passé. I mean, you can find them in hockey, in baseball, and even college football. For the new wave, we must look to Canada....
![Something Very Weird Happened At The End Of Tonight's Ohio Lottery Numbers Announcement [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
Something Very Weird Happened At The End Of Tonight's Ohio Lottery Numbers Announcement [UPDATE]
We're legitimately concerned about the health of Ohio Lottery host Karen Kawolics tonight, as she appeared to have significant issues getting through the nightly announcement of the state's lotto numbers....


Former NBA Player Javaris Crittenton Indicted On Murder Charges
You've probably forgotten about Javaris Crittenton by now. He's the guy who threatened to shoot Gilbert Arenas in the knee over an unpaid boo-ray debt in January of 2010, and was then accused of murdering a 22-year-old mother of four in August of 2011. Crittenton has been out on bond since being cha...

I Have No Idea What This <i>Upstream Color</i> Movie Is About, But It Is Awesome
To make a list of things I do not understand about Shane Carruth's Upstream Color would be to simply list everything that happens in the movie. But lemme try out some questions on you anyway: Who is the man who kidnaps a woman and drugs her by feeding her a worm? And why does that worm cause her to ...

Why Your Children's Television Program Sucks: <i>Dora The Explorer</i>
A look at the awful children’s programming you’re forced to endure before you can finally kick the kids out of the TV room to watch sports for eight hours. Illustration by Jim Cooke....

Magic Johnson Has A Gay Son, And He Is Very Charming
Until today, we had no idea that Magic Johnson's 20-year-old son, Earvin Johnson III, was gay. We only know this now because someone from TMZ decided to badger Johnson III about the Dodgers, bathrooms, and the Lakers while he was trying to walk down the Sunset Strip with someone who appears to be hi...

Meet Steve Alford, UCLA's Future Former Basketball Coach
Few people have perfected the art of professional escape like Steve Alford, the newly former New Mexico coach who is now the future former coach of UCLA. Nine days after getting drummed out of the NCAA tournament by Haaarvaaard and two days before his 10-year, $20 million contract with the Lobos was...
