ew Page 2785 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ohio Is For Non-Football Lovers: Your NFL Early Games Viewing Guide
On paper this is kind of a rough first act for week two, but who cares? It's still football and usually it's these god-awful looking games that become the most compelling. So trust me when I tell you, this Browns-Bengals game is going to be one for the ages. ...

How To Make A Salad That Doesn't Suck: A Guide For The Nutritionally Unvirtuous
Even the more willing salad-eaters among us tend to think of salad as the culinary equivalent of floss, i.e. as a depressing incarnation of grim, miserable healthfulness wagging a finger of admonishment from the most boring sector of the table. At family functions, you scoop some onto your plate wit...
![Video: A Couple Humped In A Yankee Stadium Bathroom Stall For About Three Innings On Saturday [NSFW]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17zauhymjediyjpg.jpg)
Video: A Couple Humped In A Yankee Stadium Bathroom Stall For About Three Innings On Saturday [NSFW]
Video below. Lots of male ass (beneath a C.C. Sabathia jersey), so proceed with caution. Here's the story from our tipster:...

Goalie Can't Make Save, Can Dive Face First Into Goal Post
New York Red Bulls teammates Thierry Henry and Dax McCarty hooked up for a nice goal off an Henry corner kick in the Red Bulls 3-1 win over the Columbus Crew. Poor Crew goalkeeper Andy Gruenebaum made a hell of an effort to stop it, but he came up short....

Last Night's Holy War Game Between BYU And Utah Ended Bizarrely As Utes Fans Rushed The Field Three Separate Times
Rice-Eccles Stadium in Salt Lake City became the stage for farce in the closing moments of last night's Holy War game between Utah and BYU, as fan confusion over the end of the game led to them rushing the field three times....

NFL Removes Replacement Referee Assigned To New Orleans Saints Game Because He Is A Saints Fan
Chris Mortensen reported this one and it is truly amazing. Brian Stropolo is an NFL replacement side judge, for now, who was scheduled to officiate the New Orleans Saints-Carolina Panthers game this afternoon. Brian Stropolo is also a huge Saints fan— and I mean, huge. Check out his facebook. If he'...

NHL Lockout Is Official
The NHL released a brief statement at 12:05 AM indicating that the players would be locked out. Here is the full, 151-word statement:...

The Iron Sheik And Jose Canseco Had Twitter Beef Last Night
Pro wrestler and occasional Deadspin contributor The Iron Sheik went after more-than-occasional Deadspin subject Jose Canseco last night, calling the steroids proponent a "dumb Mexican" who is, additionally, "dumber than dead dog."...

Beer Of The Week: Hoptimus Prime
The further we get from the '80s, the less defensible the hero-toys look. G.I. Joes might've delivered creepily timed PSAs - oh, don't mind Doc hanging around outside your bathroom window, kiddos - but in setting up a reflexively force-oriented response to terroristic threats probably helped set the...

Wisconsin Fans Fond Of Wearing "Eat Shit/Fuck You" T-Shirts To Nationally-Televised Football Games
This is apparently a whole thing for Wisconsin fans, alongside their prefab dancing to terrible rap songs. "Eat shit" returned by "Fuck you!" is a student section chant, something as creative as, oh, "rah-rah-rah." Regardless, the truly clever exchange is now available on T-shirts, which the class...

Faceless Florida Gator Is Kind Of Horrific
The Florida Gators find themselves down a touchdown to rivals Tennessee in Knoxville tonight, and it seems one Gators player can't bear to show his face out of embarrassment—either that, or Will Muschamp tore it off in a fit of rage....

The NHL Is Officially Locking Out Its Players After Sides Failed To Meet Today
It may have seemed like a forgone conclusion (NHL deputy comissioner Bill Daly said today, "I think it's fair to say there was no realistic expectation to avoid a lockout as of developments on Wednesday and Thursday") but the owner's self-imposed deadline was midnight tonight. Nothing happened or wi...

The Time ESPN's Lynn Hoppes Debunked MediaTakeOut's Report That Lolo Jones Was Dating Ndamukong Suh
On Thursday, an exclusive came roaring across the front page of the internet: MediaTakeOut.com, long beloved and respected for its crack reporting and evocative headlining, had the exclusive. The full text of their Lolo Jones/Ndamukong Suh love story:...

The Astros Are Selling Tickets To A Lunch With Joe Niekro, Who Has Been Dead Since 2006
Above, the Astros's official Facebook page, on which they are currently advertising next weekend's Legends Weekend. The deal?...
![Nebraska Head Coach Bo Pelini Left Today's Game In An Ambulance [UPDATE: Flu-Like Symptoms]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17z7ofnh08hcgjpg.jpg)
Nebraska Head Coach Bo Pelini Left Today's Game In An Ambulance [UPDATE: Flu-Like Symptoms]
Nebraska is still playing Arkansas State—they're up 35-13 in the fourth quarter at the moment—but their head coach, Bo Pelini, is not on the sidelines. Here's the AP report:...

Cal's Brendan Bigelow Threw His Hat Into The Ring For Play Of The Day With This 81-Yard Touchdown Run
Ohio State has mostly dominated today's ABC game in Columbus against the Cal Golden Bears, but Brendan Bigelow helped narrow the lead to 20-14 with this exceptional run that involved several spins, a juke, and a few stumbles. We're sure that's just how Jeff Tedford drew it up. [ABC]...

Here's Umpire Jerry Meals Trying To Avoid To A Ball And Instead Incurring The Wrath Of Yankees Fans
The New York Yankees are not getting along very well with Jerry Meals. Last week, the New York Daily News compared Meals to legendary goat Jeffrey Maier, and the usually robotic Mark Teixeira was moved to say Meals's out call in the ninth was "terrible"—he even said, " "Sometimes you wonder if the...

"Horse Crap": Oddly Enough, The Amazon Reviews For The Freeh Report Are Mostly Pretty Negative
That is to say, as negative as possible, in every case: the Freeh Report has 44 reviews on Amazon right now, and they are all one star. I mean, that sort of makes sense—who goes on Amazon to give a positive review of the report stemming from an extrajudicial review process?—but on the heels of Franc...

Remember Ian Beckles? Neither Do We, But He Got Arrested Last Night For Drunkenly Touching A Horse
Ah, Ian Beckles. Ian Beckles, Ian Beckles, Ian Beckles. Ian Beckles, Ian Beckles. Who the fuck is Ian Beckles?...

"Will Muschamp Listens To Nickelback": Your Roundup Of The Best Signs Behind The College Gameday Crew
Kenny Chesney is making picks and Lee Corso is wearing a cowboy hat (again) so let's do some signage. Above: Will Muschamp gets clowned yet again, when the Tennessee crowd suggests that, like all assholes, Will Muschamp listens to Nickelback....