ew Page 2814 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Ken Rosenthal And The Dugout Of Mysteries

What in Dumbledore's name is Ken Rosenthal talking about? I follow Ken on Twitter. He's useful when news is happening and seems like a nice guy (when he's not threatening interns). I have probably never clicked on a link to a story of his in my time following him, though. Until this morning for some...

This Is What Lance Armstrong's Fall From Grace Sounds Like To Consumers

Things are bad for Lance Armstrong these days. Marketing wizards have been trying to find out just how bad and the answer is "extremely."...

Mark Sanchez Confidence Report

As the preseason ends and the real season begins, the most important quarterback controversy in the 6,000 year history of the world endures. We will haphazardly monitor the progress of the Mark Sanchez-Tim Tebow competition....

Dwight Howard Thanks Orlando With Pictures Of Dwight Howard And Dwight Howard's Name Blaring In All Caps. Dwight Howard.

He also said some nice stuff about the city of Orlando and its residents that may or may not have been ripped off from the theme to Titanic....

Brent Musburger Bleeped By ESPN Censors After Saying Something Naughty

We're not sure exactly what Brent Musburger is saying here, because we're officially out of the business of reading lips. But his comments during tonight's Michigan-Alabama blowout were something that necessitated censors using the seven-second delay, and ones Musburger later remarked were "a Freu...

Beer And Game Pairing: Hell Or High Watermelon With Bowling Green At Florida

Fruit and beer have an uneasy relationship, much like Gators fans and Florida sucking. Yet here we are, in 2012, and just as I'm watching this unsteady SEC power flail against some team called Bowling Green, I'm also enjoying the seasonal release Hell or High Watermelon by the San Francisco brewery ...

Another Fan Dies At A Football Game, This Time After Falling From Upper Level To Lower Level While Celebrating A Touchdown

Isaac Grubb, of Lenoir City, Tennessee, died on Friday night after falling over a 33-inch balcony railing in the Georgia Dome and dropping to the lower level. Grubb fell on another man who was in attendance, but that fan only suffered minor injuries. The Facebook page of an Isaac Grubb from Lenior C...

Mysterious License Plate Probably Says "Penis Trolls"

Pens trails? Panster lulz? Pan steer lies? Pins TRL Z? Like a Total Request Live reference? Pines tour reals? No, probably not...puns trials? Pains too...reals? That would be kind of deep, right? Punster lies? Pans tear roles? Panster rolls? Is that a thing? That sort sounds like it could be brand ...

Watch Oscar Pistorius Blow Away The Field And Set A Paralympic Record In The 200m

Our old friend Oscar Pistorius is the first track athlete ever to compete at both the Olympics and Paralympics, and if this video is any indicator, he is not fucking around at all....

Girls High School Basketball Coach Probably Shouldn't Be Allowed Anywhere Near High Schools Or Girls

Chicago's SouthTown Star has the story of Bryan Craig, once the coach of Rich Central High School's varsity basketball team, now unemployed. Craig resigned after the board at the high school where he worked found out that he wrote and self-published a book called It's Her Fault (!), which featured ...

"I'm Asian": Your Roundup Of The Best Signs Behind The <em>College Gameday</em> Crew

Yes, Penn State's Band Played "We Are Young" During Today's Game

The Penn State Blue Band put forth a rendition of Fun's "We Are Young" during the first half of today's matchup against Ohio. Should they have done that? (Chime in in the comments.) [ESPN]...

"Oh Geez": A Streaker Made A Spirited Run Through The Infield At The Angels-Mariners Game Last Night

Angels-M's, Angels up 5-1, top of the sixth, all the drama in the world. Then...this guy. The Orange Country Register (which couldn't resist a win-streak pun for their headline) reports the be-Speedo'd fan "led security personnel on a merry chase for a minute or two."...

Ohio State's Devin Smith Made A Catch That's An Early Nominee For Play Of The Year

After a slow start that found themselves down 3-0 to Miami U., Ohio State broke ahead with this ridiculous catch by sophomore receiver Devin Smith, a one-handed affair that led Big Ten Network announcers in search of new underwear. [BTN]...

How To Barbecue Chicken Thighs: A Guide For People Who Aren't Assholes

So it's Labor Day weekend, the holiday that offers up togetherness and honoring American labor as flimsy pretexts for men across the land to stand next to fire, poking things. ...

"Jungle Bird" Psychotic Who Invaded The U.S. Open Trophy Ceremony Dances Jig Onfield At Notre Dame-Navy Game [UPDATE: Jungle Bird At The Pub After The Game!]

Back in June, we presented video of a man calling himself "Jungle Bird" who invaded Webb Simpson's U.S. Open trophy ceremony with a series of squawks. Jungle Bird showed up again today in Dublin, when he invaded the field to perform a ceremonial jig with a football. ...

Your College Football Master Schedule: September 1

Schedule via. Conferences reflect home teams. Ranked teams bold; rankings from the Coaches Poll....

Excerpts From The Recent <em>Outside</em> Magazine Story That Make Lance Armstrong Look Like An Asshole

Yesterday, the factions of the internet that have strong opinions about Lance Armstrong were aflutter after Outside magazine published an essay penned by Mike Anderson, a one-time member of Lance Armstrong's inner circle. It's a doozy, and we encourage you to read the whole thing. But in the interes...

Paul Ryan Lied About Being Good At Marathons

Republic vice-presidential nominee Paul Ryan takes fitness very, very seriously. Except when he's completely bullshitting about it. Runner's World reports that Ryan told a radio interviewer that he used to run marathons, before back trouble forced him to keep his runs under 10 miles, and his best ti...

Police Seeking Huge Eagles Fan Wanted For Bank Robbery

Someone robbed the Keystone Federal Credit Union in Downingtown, Penn., this morning. He's described as 5'5", with a mustache, driving a tan sedan, and is 100 percent convinced that Nick Foles is the next Aaron Rodgers....