ew Page 2837 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Baseball Game Delayed While Repo Men Attempt To Collect Bats, Gloves, For Team's Unpaid Cleaning Bills
The Worcester Tornadoes, of the independent Can-Am league, couldn't throw the first pitch of last night's game at 7 p.m., as scheduled. They were too busy dealing with police constables sent to enforce a court order to confiscate the team's equipment. Enterprise Cleaning Co. has cleaned clubhouses, ...

Lax Bro Apologizes To Entire Southwest Flight For Acting Like A Lax Bro
Lax bros are one of the fastest-growing scourges to American society. They are members of a subculture that is composed entirely of privileged white kids with annoying names. Even worse, they are getting attention from the Boston Globe and stupid movies made about them....

French Soccer Stars Will Face Charges For Sexing 16-Year-Old Prostitute
Bayern's Franck Ribery and Real Madrid's Karim Benzema got into a spot of trouble in 2010, when a Paris prostitution ring was busted and their names popped up in a little black book. Even worse, it turned out they had paid for sex with then-16-year-old Zahia Dehar, who, in the players' defense, didn...

The Jets Are Actually Practicing The Wildcat In Front Of Reporters And Banning Reporters From Writing About It
Erik posted a link to Mike Sielski's Wall Street Journal column last night about the Jets' secrecy with their Wildcat formation. The column dropped a "[REDACTED]" in every place where there would have been interesting or identifying information about Tony Sparano's offense, and it was funny, because...

How New York's New MLS Stadium Heralds The Return Of The Cosmos
Top-level soccer hasn't been played within New York's city limits since 1976, when the Cosmos packed up for Giants Stadium and took the country's brief love affair with domestic pro soccer with them. The drought might be close to over, as MLS and local politicians seem intent on returning a team to ...

ESPN's Adam Schefter Has The Most Adorable Facebook Page
Facebook rolled out its Timeline feature earlier this year, and the redesign makes the site even creepier than it was before. Facebook transformed from a site obsessed with one's present to a site obsessed with one's present and one's past. Users are meant to delineate major life events and use Time...

Here's The 911 Call From Chad Johnson's Arrest On Domestic Violence Charges
The call was calmly placed by the next-door neighbor of the former Dolphins receiver and his new wife, Evelyn Lozada, on Saturday night. The caller makes it clear early on that Lozada has a cut on her forehead and that "she probably is going to need stitches" because "he hit her with his head." The ...

Why Your Team Sucks 2012: Cincinnati Bengals
Some people are fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Cincinnati Bengals. This 2012 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read the other Why Your Team Sucks 2012 previews here....

Phoenix Mercury Practice With Mayor, Break His Nose
Greg Stanton became Phoenix's mayor last November in what was called the "nastiest" and "most contentious mayoral Phoenix has seen in nearly 30 years." As nasty as Stanton might be, he's no match for Nakia Sanford's flying elbows....

Dictionary Researchers Credit Gary Carter With Popularizing "F-Bomb"
Once again, it's time for the word-lovin' folks at Merriam-Webster to add a few more selections to their growing collection of vernacular. This year, the word "F-bomb" will be included for the first time, along with sexting, energy drink, life coach, and 96 other entries today into its latest print ...

World's Most Exuberant High School Football Promo Features Cheerleaders, Awkward Dancing, And Backflips
Man, there's a lot going on in this TV promo for Fox 8's Emmy-winning Friday Night Touchdown. There's uncomfortable white-guy dancing, a "sax solo" acted out to Katy Perry's "Last Friday Night," a collection of football highlights from schools around northeast Ohio, and lots of lots of cheerleader...

Whither The Melkman
Batman is a man who dresses like a bat. Spider-Man is a man with the powers of an arachnid. Aquaman is worthless and should have been kicked out of the Superfriends a long time ago....

Important: <em>This</em> Was The Worst Play In The History Of Baseball
I was encouraged to see Dan take such a bold stance in even entering the A.J. Pierzynski Groundout Debacle of 2012 as a contender for Worst Play in the History of Baseball™. However, there really is no debate when it comes to this. It was actually another former San Francisco Giant, Ruben Rivera, ...

ESPN Thinks Tim Tebow Warrants Consideration As The "Best Lefty In Sports History"
Look, I know ESPN is not explicitly saying anyone should regard Tebow as the best southpaw in sports history, but it put his picture in here, alongside Steve Young, Phil Mickelson, Babe Ruth, Sandy Koufax, and Bill Russell, and asked readers "Who's the best lefty in sports history?" so the WWL (or s...

Rajai Davis Goes Above The Rogers Centre Outfield Wall For A Home Run-Robbing Catch
There's a very good chance you've already seen this play from yesterday afternoon, but I'm posting it here a) on the off-chance it has slipped your attention and b) for posterity's sake because holy shit, Rajai Davis! It was a play some Blue Jays fans say they've never seen before, an outfielder sca...

Former 49ers Tight End Brent Jones Has His Very Own (And Very Weird) Epic Poet
All we know about this is pretty much what you see in the video above: More than five minutes of Brent Jones autographing photographs at a sporting goods store while some guy reads aloud from a really detailed poem the guy presumably wrote about Jones's life and career. It's ... yeah, we don't kno...

San Diego State Head Football Coach Might Just Go For It On Fourth Down This Season
Field goals—fuck 'em, right? They've been called "an anachronistic holdover from the game's rugby origins" in this space before, and finally someone with a little cojones (and a football team) may get rid of them altogether....

Dwight Howard Is Totally Willing To Do Whatever's Best For His Team. His New Team, Anyway.
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The new Dwight is all about sacrifice....

This Is Just Another Friendly Reminder That There Will Be An NHL Lockout Because The Owners Are Cheap Bastards
Hey, it's mid-August. That means we're a little more than a month away from NHL training camp. So it's time to get excited again about all your favorite prospects, like that kid from Canadian major junior who was on the bubble last year but will definitely make the team this year, and all your new f...

Asylum-Seeking Cameroon Boxers Say They Were Threatened
We told you last week about the seven Olympic athletes from Cameroon—five boxers, a swimmer, a soccer goalie—who went missing from the Olympic village in London. At the time, it was reported that those athletes would likely seek asylum. It now turns out that's exactly what the five boxers are doing,...