ew Page 2841 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

It's Official: Watching The Cubs Goes Hand In Hand With Getting Punched In The Balls
Fans of the Cubs have been saying it for years, and while we've always believed it to be true, we never had any actual proof. But there it is....

Won't Someone Please Sign Plaxico Burress? He Sounds Very Sad And Bored.
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Plaxico's "please give me a job" tour continues in Houston....

Dwight Howard On The Lakers Is Just What The NBA Bargained For
Dwight Howard is going the be a Laker, and aside from turning the Lakers into serious title contenders, not to mention the kind of superteam that David Stern's moronic lockout was supposed to prevent from ever forming, Howard's arrival in L.A. brings the league to a philosophical crossroads....

NBCmetrics: On Wednesday Night, NBC Mentioned The United States More Times Than Every Other Country Combined
During the Olympics, we'll be analyzing NBC's primetime coverage sort of the way we analyze SportsCenter in Bristolmetrics. We'll break down what countries the Peacock is talking about, and which athletes are getting the most attention....

The Baseballs In College Summer Leagues Appear To Be Juiced
A lot of college baseball players don't go home for the summer. Instead, many make their way to tiny dots on the map like Falmouth (Mass.), Celina (Ohio), DeLand (Fla.), or Quakertown (Pa.), to play in one of a handful of summer leagues....

The Women's Field Hockey Gold Medal Match Was Even Bloodier Than The Semifinals
We already showed you this brutal connection between hockey stick and face, and it happened again during today's gold medal match between Holland and Argentina. The Netherlands ended up taking gold with a 2-0 win, but injury was added to insult when Argentina's Mariela Scarone let her face get in...

Dead Letters: "Just Read Your Article. I Printed It And Wiped My Ass With It. You Should Get It In The Mail Shortly."
Subject: Why your team sucks....Atlanta Falcons...

Carlton Banks Makes Appearance At Iowa Minor League Park, Reads "Take Me Out To The Ballgame" From His Phone
Poor Carlton Banks. He went to Princeton, backed by a large family fortune, but that wasn't enough for him. Somewhere along the line he fell on hard times—2008 felled so many titans—and had to resort to doing personal appearances at single-A baseball games in Iowa....

Here's Rex Ryan Wearing An "I'd Hit That" Shirt
We've long known way more about Rex Ryan's dietary exploits—and his sex life—than we ever wanted to. We recently learned that he had lost over 100 pounds, which evidently means he can flaunt his frame in T-shirts with naughty puns on them. Congratulations?...

Everything You Never Needed To Know About Modern Pentathlon
Here's a great way to make some extra cash:...

Sure It Looks Bad If You Draw A Swastika On It: Foreign Olympics News NBC Couldn't Justify With A Gallup Poll
Deadspin and Gelf Magazine bring you the best (or at least the most interesting) foreign-produced journalism about the London Olympics. ...

The <i>New York Times</i> Tries Its Hand At Animated Gifs. It Does Not Go Well.
If Buzzfeed and the Times made a baby, and it had epilepsy, it would look like this: "10 Animated GIFs From London 2012." These gifs are different—they're constructed from rapid fire shots taken by the Times's photographers, rather than from actual moving pictures. It sort of defeats the entire purp...

Look At This Fucking Heapster
Reader Landon sends this in from a free Grimes concert in New York City last night. Look at this fucking Heapster, indeed....

LSU Kicks Heisman Finalist Tyrann Mathieu Off Team For Violating School Rules
LSU defensive back and return man Tyrann Mathieu will not return to the Tigers this year, as announced by head coach Les Miles at a press conference in Baton Rouge today. The Honey Badger, who finished fifth in last year's Heisman voting and became a favorite of Brent Musburger, was the subject of ...

The PGA Tour Reminds Us Yet Again That South Carolina Is A Deathswamp
This video, of a big-ass alligator eating a big-ass snake, comes from yesterday's round one action in the PGA Championship, at Kiawah Island. NBD. Happens all the time. Back in April at the Heritage Classic in Hilton Head, the gators were actually threatening the caddies. Gator Golf is not nearly ...

The Red Sox Are Losing Because John Lackey Likes To Double-Fist Beers, Writes Moron
The Red Sox lost a baseball game last night, dropping their record to three games below .500, and you know what that means, don't you? It's time for some dumb columnist to turn into Carrie Nation and throw some shit at the wall. CSN New England's Joe Haggerty did just that when he published this ar...

USA Basketball: America Plays The Olympics In God Mode
There is something almost inherently unlikable about Team USA basketball. Our basketball heroes stand at the heart of the American attitude toward international competition—a belief system with a one-line catechism, "Are we winning?" and for which the Olympics is the most ecstatic of holy festivals....

Photos Of Usain Bolt Looking Bored As He Blows Past The Best Runners In The World
His dominance is frustrating, maddening. Not because he wins all the time, or because it's never even close. But because Usain Bolt, the fastest sprinter ever to run the earth, doesn't even need to try....

How Bad Were Replacement Refs Last Night? Let's Examine The Video Evidence.
After the preseason teaser that is the Hall Of Fame Game, we got our first glimpse of the NFL's replacement referees during last night's slate of pro football action. The verdict? Just ask Bill Belichick, who despite an NFL ban on teams commenting on officiating suggested we seek the opinion of Mik...

Grand Quarterback Pronouncements Based On A Few Preseason Drives
There were six less-than-meaningless games across the NFL last night, twelve chances for fans and media to judge and project their quarterbacks over an entire season based solely on a quarter of half-speed action. That's the entire point of preseason football—unrealistic expectations take wing....