ew Page 2863 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

SMU Player's House Burglarized By Prostitute He Refused To Pay
This happened way back in April, the night of the Mustangs' end-of-season banquet, but the police report is just surfacing now. Three SMU players returned to their off-campus home after the fancy dinner, only to find that someone had stolen $3,000 worth of laptops, televisions and video games. One o...

American Beach Volleyball Players Respect The Sanctity Of The Bikini
You may notice some wardrobe changes while watching beach volleyball at these Olympics: A good number of teams will forego the traditional bikini in favor of loose-fitting shorts and t-shirts. But not the principled American women! The U.S. beach volleyball team will stick with the briefest of unifo...

Here Are Your All-Time Vacated Standings For Division I College Football
The NCAA swung its shithammer on Monday, and Penn State had to vacate a staggering 112 victories. Joe Paterno was no longer the winningest coach in college football history. But he became the winningest coach in another college football universe. Here, for the first time, are the NCAA's all-time va...

The Murdoch Mad Genius Who Gave Us Game Scores, A Dancing NFL Robot, And A Glowing Hockey Puck Is Leaving Fox Sports
There was a very quiet announcement on Monday: David Hill—a man most people haven't heard of, but whose innovations you know all too well—is leaving Fox Sports. Hill ran Fox Sports since its creation in 1993, and his departure sent sports media geeks into a tizzy:...

Legally Blind Archer Breaks First World Record Of 2012 Olympics
Yes, the opening ceremonies come later today in London, but a handful of events are already underway, and there's already been a world record established....

Penn State Ex-President Graham Spanier Has A TOP SECRET Government Job That He Won't Tell Anyone About
Former Penn State president Graham Spanier has a job. But no one knows what the the hell it is....

Reporter Calls Mark Sanchez "Tim"
For a reporter, training camp is the worst. The rosters are huge, and a third of them aren't even going to break camp with the team, so unless you get a player in front of his locker and nameplate, you might have no clue who you're actually talking to. But if there's one screwup you don't want to ...

Chris Broussard Tries To Explain His Shoddy, Inattentive Reporting
Chronically distracted ESPN reporter Chris Broussard didn't have the best day earlier this month when he bungled reporting on not one but two developments on the NBA free agent front. First, he became the basketball media community's resident Mr. Magoo, turning a blind eye to Deron Williams agreeing...

Jumping 10-Foot-Long Mako Shark Makes Fishermen Completely Lose Their Shit
Contrary to its name, participants in the Flying Mako fishing tournament don't usually expect to see crazed, flying mako sharks when they try to nab top honors in this strictly catch-and-release contest. However, Alex Beck, Mark Martin, and Keith Langford (the cameraman) captured footage of a 10-f...

Terrell Owens Has Apparently Given Up On Football To Become A Softball Ringer
Tipster Daniel F. sends along this video from a Santa Monica rec league softball game tonight that featured constantly unemployed wide receiver Terrell Owens. Here's the scouting report from Daniel, who sent along* the above video:...

Pirates Prospect Starling Marte Made History With His First MLB Swing
On the first swing of his major league career, Pittsburgh's Starling Marte homered tonight to deep left-center field in Houston. He became the first Pirate in 51 years to homer in his first at-bat, as well as the 28th player in MLB history to homer on his first pitch. That ranks just behind perfect ...

Neil Reed, Former Indiana Basketball Player Once Choked By Bob Knight, Has Died
That's according to the Santa Maria (Calif.) Times, which cited faculty members at Pioneer Valley High School, where Reed coached basketball and golf:...

Cop Who Called Carl Crawford A "Monday," Which Is A Racial Slur, Has Been Fired
In what is surely one of the most head-scratchiest instances of racism directed toward an athlete, the Massachusetts cop who heckled Carl Crawford during a minor-league rehab assignment in New Hampshire has been fired by his town's mayor, after being suspended for the past week. The Boston Globe has...

Barry Switzer: The NCAA Is "Punishing The Wrong People" At Penn State
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The former coach says the NCAA rushed to judgment....

Barry Bonds Is Skinny Again
Busted Coverage has this photo, taken earlier in the week, of a cycling run-in with a certain former baseball player and huge man. Bonds is apparently spending part of his summer biking in the Rockies, and he looks...different....

Happy Girl, Sad Girl: Shawn Johnson And Dominique Moceanu Tell The Two Stories People Want From Their Sport
American coverage of women's gymnastics falls squarely into one of two camps: tales of plucky, lovable teens wearing their perma-smiles to the winners' podium, or exposés of the sport's seedy underbelly, of eating disorders, abusive training methods, of cruel coaches and broken bodies. It's either N...

Important Note: This Was The <em>Worst</em> Olympic Cauldron-Lighting Ceremony Ever
Last night, our colleague Erik Malinowski posted a video of the torch-lighting at the 1992 Olympics in Barcelona. He called it the "greatest Olympic cauldron lighting ceremony ever."...

Science! Says The 2008 Squad Was Actually The Best Olympic Basketball Team Of All Time
Paul Bessire, creator of the Predictalator, ran every men's hoops team from 1992 through 2012 through his machine, simulating each roster playing 50,000 games against every other edition. And to everyone's surprise, neither the '92 Dream Team nor the current squad in London came out on top. Winning ...

Famous People Trying To Be Funny. <em>The Watch</em>, Reviewed.
The Watch is The Avengers of comic superstar movies, if the Avengers decided they didn't really want to work together and looked sorta annoyed occupying the same story. The movie stars Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, and Jonah Hill, and it's rare to see a film in which so many big names seem to be operat...

Woman Says Youth Coach And USA Swimming Member Sexually Abused Her As A Child, Bought Her Silence
Just in time for the Olympics, USA Swimming has had to schedule an emergency hearing after a 43-year-old woman came forward to accuse a longtime member and youth coach of sexually abusing her nearly 30 years ago....