ew Page 2924 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mysterious License Plate Probably Says "Penis Trolls"

Pens trails? Panster lulz? Pan steer lies? Pins TRL Z? Like a Total Request Live reference? Pines tour reals? No, probably not...puns trials? Pains too...reals? That would be kind of deep, right? Punster lies? Pans tear roles? Panster rolls? Is that a thing? That sort sounds like it could be brand ...

Watch Oscar Pistorius Blow Away The Field And Set A Paralympic Record In The 200m

Our old friend Oscar Pistorius is the first track athlete ever to compete at both the Olympics and Paralympics, and if this video is any indicator, he is not fucking around at all....

Girls High School Basketball Coach Probably Shouldn't Be Allowed Anywhere Near High Schools Or Girls

Chicago's SouthTown Star has the story of Bryan Craig, once the coach of Rich Central High School's varsity basketball team, now unemployed. Craig resigned after the board at the high school where he worked found out that he wrote and self-published a book called It's Her Fault (!), which featured ...

"I'm Asian": Your Roundup Of The Best Signs Behind The <em>College Gameday</em> Crew

Yes, Penn State's Band Played "We Are Young" During Today's Game

The Penn State Blue Band put forth a rendition of Fun's "We Are Young" during the first half of today's matchup against Ohio. Should they have done that? (Chime in in the comments.) [ESPN]...

"Oh Geez": A Streaker Made A Spirited Run Through The Infield At The Angels-Mariners Game Last Night

Angels-M's, Angels up 5-1, top of the sixth, all the drama in the world. Then...this guy. The Orange Country Register (which couldn't resist a win-streak pun for their headline) reports the be-Speedo'd fan "led security personnel on a merry chase for a minute or two."...

Ohio State's Devin Smith Made A Catch That's An Early Nominee For Play Of The Year

After a slow start that found themselves down 3-0 to Miami U., Ohio State broke ahead with this ridiculous catch by sophomore receiver Devin Smith, a one-handed affair that led Big Ten Network announcers in search of new underwear. [BTN]...

How To Barbecue Chicken Thighs: A Guide For People Who Aren't Assholes

So it's Labor Day weekend, the holiday that offers up togetherness and honoring American labor as flimsy pretexts for men across the land to stand next to fire, poking things. ...

"Jungle Bird" Psychotic Who Invaded The U.S. Open Trophy Ceremony Dances Jig Onfield At Notre Dame-Navy Game [UPDATE: Jungle Bird At The Pub After The Game!]

Back in June, we presented video of a man calling himself "Jungle Bird" who invaded Webb Simpson's U.S. Open trophy ceremony with a series of squawks. Jungle Bird showed up again today in Dublin, when he invaded the field to perform a ceremonial jig with a football. ...

Your College Football Master Schedule: September 1

Schedule via. Conferences reflect home teams. Ranked teams bold; rankings from the Coaches Poll....

Excerpts From The Recent <em>Outside</em> Magazine Story That Make Lance Armstrong Look Like An Asshole

Yesterday, the factions of the internet that have strong opinions about Lance Armstrong were aflutter after Outside magazine published an essay penned by Mike Anderson, a one-time member of Lance Armstrong's inner circle. It's a doozy, and we encourage you to read the whole thing. But in the interes...

Paul Ryan Lied About Being Good At Marathons

Republic vice-presidential nominee Paul Ryan takes fitness very, very seriously. Except when he's completely bullshitting about it. Runner's World reports that Ryan told a radio interviewer that he used to run marathons, before back trouble forced him to keep his runs under 10 miles, and his best ti...

Police Seeking Huge Eagles Fan Wanted For Bank Robbery

Someone robbed the Keystone Federal Credit Union in Downingtown, Penn., this morning. He's described as 5'5", with a mustache, driving a tan sedan, and is 100 percent convinced that Nick Foles is the next Aaron Rodgers....

Five Labor Day Weekend Movies That Aren't Completely Terrible

You're not going to the movies on Labor Day weekend, are you? Hollywood assumes you aren't. Unlike Memorial Day or Independence Day or Christmas or even Martin Luther King Jr. Day, this holiday weekend is perennially stacked with losers, the films that the studios don't want to think about anymore. ...

Deadspin's College Football Top 25 Or So: The Tide Doesn't Move

Happy Labor Day weekend! Your unpaid student-athlete workforce is already on the job. So it's time for the 2012 Deadspin College Football Top 25 Or So. As always, teams are ranked according to the values and priorities of college football, as best we understand them, no matter how contradictory thos...

Maria Sharapova And Sasha Vujacic Are Through. Now's Your Chance, Slovenian Basketball Groupies.

Did you remember Maria Sharapova and Sasha Vujacic were dating? Neither did we. But somehow they were together for two years and were all set to get married in November....

Astros Player Suffers The Most Astros Injury Ever

Yes, that's Astros shortstop Marwin Gonzalez flying over first base for no apparent reason last night. As you can see in the video below, Gonzalez lunged to try to beat out a grounder, but he planted his left foot just in front of the bag, which suddenly propelled him skyward for a moment. And look ...

"I May Have A Small Dick, But I Have Big Fucking Balls": The Unsentimental Education Of A Harvard Football Player

The story below, excerpted from That Book about Harvard: Surviving the World's Most Famous University, One Embarrassment at a Time, is my memory of events that actually happened. I've changed Coach Mac's name for reasons that will soon become obvious....

Steelers Rookie Sean Spence Suffered A Grotesque Knee Injury In Last Night's Pre-Season Game

Steelers rookie linebacker Sean Spence will reportedly miss all of 2012 after suffering a torn ACL and LCL along with a dislocated kneecap in an incident during the third quarter of last night's Pittsburgh-Carolina preseason game....

Chicagoan "Nordic Thunder" Is Your Air Guitar World Champion

Finally, the Air Guitar World Championship has been returned to the US of A. Not since Craig "Hot Lixx Hulahan" Billmeier took the Golden Axe in 2008 has an American proudly stood above the world's best. Not until Justin Howard, better known to mortals as Nordic Thunder, took the prize this week a...