ew Page 2952 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Rookie Rangers Reliever Robbie Ross Reveals Wrong Regalia, Receives Ridicule
Texas rookie hurler Robbie Ross found himself in a bit of trouble last night during the second game of the Rangers' doubleheader against Baltimore after removing his sweatshirt when being called to warm up in the bullpen and realizing he was wearing the wrong jersey....

Here Are The Best Entries In Our Drunk, Sulking Patrick Kane Photoshop Contest
This fine entry kicked off our Patrick Kane photoshop contest, but somehow we knew our wise readers had more in store. And you did not disappoint. I've picked the best ones here—with special commendation for our winner at the end—because we can cram only so many images into a gallery, but keep in mi...

Christian School Forfeits State Championship Game Rather Than Compete Against Player Who Is Black*
An Arizona high school baseball team forfeited the state championship game Wednesday rather than face an opponent whose squad featured a black* player....

The USFL Is Making A Comeback, Will Be Nothing Like The Old USFL
The United States Football League is apparently being reborn next March, with teams in eight cities playing a 14-game schedule through June 2013. Not everything is cemented yet, including which cities will actually get franchises, but the effort has attracted some noteworthy investors and advisors, ...

Everything You Need To Know About Sarah Phillips, Former ESPN Columnist And Social-Media Scammer
Last week, we published a long story about Sarah Phillips, the ESPN columnist who, among other things, used her connections to the Worldwide Leader to hijack a teenager's Facebook venture. The story developed quickly from there, getting progressively more complicated as more tipsters came forward wi...

Thunder PA Announcer Arrested And Fired After He Allegedly Forced Kids To Watch Him Masturbate
Jim Miller, the public address announcer for Oklahoma City Thunder games, was arrested yesterday and charged with three felony counts of lewd or indecent acts with a child under 16. The Thunder announced shortly thereafter that they had fired Miller....

What Josh Beckett Does On His Off Days Stays Between Josh Beckett And His Off Days
After apparently solving things a few weeks ago, the Red Sox have (thankfully) returned to aggressive catastrophe status. They're 2-8 in their last 10 games, including an 8-3 thrashing yesterday at the hands of the Cleveland Indians. Josh Beckett gave up seven runs in a little more than two innings,...

It Was "Anal Kid Time" At Yankee Stadium Tonight
Reader Tommy went to tonight's Rays-Yanks game in the Bronx tonight, and noticed the captioning board was advertising a very strange event. If you ask me, they're making baseball stadiums way too kid-friendly these days....

Minnesota Legislature Votes To Hand Over $800 Million So Shitty Football Team Can Build Shitty New Stadium
After several failed proposals and years of threats to relocate, it looks like the Vikings will be staying in Minnesota. The state Senate today passed a bill that would make way for a $975 million stadium, with the Vikings owners kicking in $50 million—a whole $50 million!—more than they had been sa...

Coach Eric Taylor Wants To Ask You Something
This Friday Night Lights supercut would appear to encompass some 42 percent of the show's entire dialogue, but that's a rough, unscientific estimate on our part. Maybe Mike Leach contribute some new lines for the movie script....

Mike Rizzo Is Done Talking About Cole Hamels, Unless You Ask Him Again
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Standing by....

A Tour Of Sports' Least-Coveted Auction Items
Do you want a game-used rake from Cleveland Municipal Stadium? No? Are you sure? It could be yours. (Really, it could be. It's a nice thing to have.) Josh Levin explains how, and lists other excellent bits of memorabilia you might acquire, on this week's excerpt from Slate's Hang Up and Listen pod...

The Miami Dolphins Are Looking For A Few Good Grease Porters
Sure, the economy is a little rough these days, but if you've got years of experience working with grease, greasy food, and just unimaginable amounts of greasy things, the Miami Dolphins would you to contact them immediately....

This Gay Marriage Headline Could Have Used Another Proofreader
From a post on the Seattle Times online about the political stance of Rep. Norm Dicks. We have no words....

Miami Heat Apologize For "Extinguishing" Amar'e Stoudamire
This is what happens when an otherwise personality-less P.A. announcer tries to show a bit of personality. The Miami Heat have now formally apologized for "extinguishing" Amar'e Stoudamire after his sixth foul last night....

Dwight Howard's Rehab Is Basically Him Limping Around Beverly Hills With His Socks Pulled Up To His Neck
A reader named Luke sent this in and says it's something he sees "like 3 times a week." So this is what a premier athlete's rehab looks like: the 5 p.m. early-bird dinner rush....

Summer Is The Goddamn Worst
May has started, which means that we're quickly running out of May and I don't want May to end because that means summer is here and OH FUCK GOD PLEASE NOT AGAIN....

MLB Plans To Ban That Stupid Fake-To-Third, Throw-To-First Pickoff Move
Every baseball game seems to feature at least one of those useless, dilatory fake-to-third, throw-to-first pickoff moves. They never work, they slow down the game, they make you wait even longer for your team's terrible righty middle reliever to give up the lead. Who likes this thing enough to keep ...

Better Know An Umpire: Angel Campos
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...
![Report: Chris "Birdman" Andersen's Home Is Target Of Kiddie-Porn Investigation [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17m7x73c24njyjpg.jpg)
Report: Chris "Birdman" Andersen's Home Is Target Of Kiddie-Porn Investigation [UPDATE]
Denver's 9News is reporting that Nuggets center Chris "Birdman" Andersen's home is the target of an investigation by the Internet Crimes Against Children division of the Douglas County Sheriff's Department....