ew Page 2952 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
![Missing: One Giant Furry Green Mascot, Believed To Be Walking Around Boston [UPDATE: Found!]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17u52sy9081gdjpg.jpg)
Missing: One Giant Furry Green Mascot, Believed To Be Walking Around Boston [UPDATE: Found!]
Wally the Green Monster, the semi-beloved mascot of the Boston Red Sox, has gone AWOL. The theft was reported to BPD at 2:22 pm, and the suspect is believed to STILL BE WEARING THE COSTUME SOMEWHERE AROUND BOSTON RIGHT NOW....

How To Watch The London Olympics Opening Ceremony Live (And Give The Finger To NBC)
NBC is airing today's Olympics opening ceremony on tape-delay, and won't be streaming it live on their website (like the actual events they're so proud to let you know about). If you'd like to join those of us who care to watch the ceremony live, here are your options:...

When Michael Phelps Was A 15-Year-Old Dork Olympian Who Kept Losing His Retainer
This is maybe not news, per se, but it's suprising how many people forget that Michael Phelps's last Olympics will actually be his fourth. Yes, before Phelps became America's greatest swimmer and most eligible doofus, he was a regular old 15-year-old doofus, just happy to be at the Sydney games....

NCAA Should Have Done Its Own Investigation Before Punishing Penn State, Says Member Of Group That Investigated Penn State
We told you yesterday how Penn State could have fought the NCAA in court over the sanctions it received earlier this week. Our own Drew Magary has also explained that the NCAA levied the punishment it did to pretty much show the world it's doing something because what happened was just so horrible a...

New Zealand's Athletes Can't Stop Washing Their Hands (And Other Foreign Olympics News That Bob Costas Will Ignore)
Gelf Magazine and Deadspin are showcasing the best (or at least the most interesting) foreign-produced journalism with our new feature—Zooming In: The Olympic Edition. ...
![We Now Know What The London Olympics Opening Ceremony Will Look Like [UPDATE]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17u4t1spv9yv5jpg.jpg)
We Now Know What The London Olympics Opening Ceremony Will Look Like [UPDATE]
The Shire is looking lush these days. Thanks, Runner's World!...

Who Will Light The Olympic Flame? This Dude, Probably.
We've shown you the best Olympic flame-lighting ceremony of all time, as well as the worst (and most genocidal.) But who gets the honor tonight?...

The Hater's Guide To The 2012 London Summer Olympics
Greetings, Olympic fanboys! Or should I say ... TOP OF THE OLYMPICS TO YE?!! The London Olympics are here at long last, and I think we're all excited for 16 days of corrupt amateur sports, monumentally wasteful publicly funded infrastructure, and totalitarian branding guidelines. Also, I'm told ther...

Before We Get To London, Let's Pause To Remember The 2012 New York Olympics
Today would have been the day the New York Olympics would have started!...

Deadspin Classic: How I Tuned The Heartstrings For NBC's Olympics Coverage
Originally published June 14, 2011....

SMU Player's House Burglarized By Prostitute He Refused To Pay
This happened way back in April, the night of the Mustangs' end-of-season banquet, but the police report is just surfacing now. Three SMU players returned to their off-campus home after the fancy dinner, only to find that someone had stolen $3,000 worth of laptops, televisions and video games. One o...

American Beach Volleyball Players Respect The Sanctity Of The Bikini
You may notice some wardrobe changes while watching beach volleyball at these Olympics: A good number of teams will forego the traditional bikini in favor of loose-fitting shorts and t-shirts. But not the principled American women! The U.S. beach volleyball team will stick with the briefest of unifo...

Here Are Your All-Time Vacated Standings For Division I College Football
The NCAA swung its shithammer on Monday, and Penn State had to vacate a staggering 112 victories. Joe Paterno was no longer the winningest coach in college football history. But he became the winningest coach in another college football universe. Here, for the first time, are the NCAA's all-time va...

The Murdoch Mad Genius Who Gave Us Game Scores, A Dancing NFL Robot, And A Glowing Hockey Puck Is Leaving Fox Sports
There was a very quiet announcement on Monday: David Hill—a man most people haven't heard of, but whose innovations you know all too well—is leaving Fox Sports. Hill ran Fox Sports since its creation in 1993, and his departure sent sports media geeks into a tizzy:...

Legally Blind Archer Breaks First World Record Of 2012 Olympics
Yes, the opening ceremonies come later today in London, but a handful of events are already underway, and there's already been a world record established....

Penn State Ex-President Graham Spanier Has A TOP SECRET Government Job That He Won't Tell Anyone About
Former Penn State president Graham Spanier has a job. But no one knows what the the hell it is....

Reporter Calls Mark Sanchez "Tim"
For a reporter, training camp is the worst. The rosters are huge, and a third of them aren't even going to break camp with the team, so unless you get a player in front of his locker and nameplate, you might have no clue who you're actually talking to. But if there's one screwup you don't want to ...

Chris Broussard Tries To Explain His Shoddy, Inattentive Reporting
Chronically distracted ESPN reporter Chris Broussard didn't have the best day earlier this month when he bungled reporting on not one but two developments on the NBA free agent front. First, he became the basketball media community's resident Mr. Magoo, turning a blind eye to Deron Williams agreeing...

Jumping 10-Foot-Long Mako Shark Makes Fishermen Completely Lose Their Shit
Contrary to its name, participants in the Flying Mako fishing tournament don't usually expect to see crazed, flying mako sharks when they try to nab top honors in this strictly catch-and-release contest. However, Alex Beck, Mark Martin, and Keith Langford (the cameraman) captured footage of a 10-f...