ew Page 2955 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Apparently, Popeye Jones's Son Is One Hell Of A Hockey Player
Seth Jones of Plano, Texas, is a 6-foot-3, 201-pound defenseman and quite possibly the best young American-born hockey player in the country. He was the captain of the USA Under-18 team that recently won gold at the World Championships in the Czech Republic. He's also the only player on that team wh...

Merril Hoge's Little Tie Is Adorable
ESPN NFL analyst Merril Hoge is a connoisseur of the cravat, and has drawn a reputation for his ridiculously thick knots that would fit in better on the set of Barney Miller than that of NFL Live. A segment today forced Hoge to remove his jacket—and thus revealing that such a wide Windsor comes wit...

Ozzie Guillen Tells Reporter To "Fucking Grow Up" For Asking About Fidel Castro
Shock of shocks, it appears as if Miami Marlins manager Ozzie Guillen isn't feeling as contrite and apologetic as he was a month ago when he apologized profusely for making some controversial comments about Fidel Castro. Guillen was subsequently suspended, he made a heartfelt plea for forgiveness,...

This Home Run Ball Painfully Defied The Laws Of Physics
I didn't take many science courses in college, but the curvature of this ball is just astounding to witness. Off some guy's right arm and into another's junk before it careens off a woman's unsuspecting face. Poor fella. Poor lady....

Better Know An Umpire: Jim Joyce
Welcome to Better Know An Umpire, an effort to educate ourselves on the human elements who have ultimate decision-making power over some 2,500 Major League Baseball games a year. (All cumulative statistics are through the 2011 season, unless otherwise stated.)...

How Bobcat Goldthwait Became A True Artist Of Independent Cinema. (Seriously.)
Bobcat Goldthwait, in almost every possible fashion, belongs on the list of those creatures who could only have come of celebrity age in the '80s, along with Emmanuel Lewis, Grace Jones, and Dr. Ruth. When the highlight of your popularity is that you were the star of the second through fourth Police...

Massive Cycling Crash Results In Momentary Panic Over The Pink Jersey's Whereabouts
Frankly, I'm torn on which call is better: The American version, courtesy of Universal Sports, or the slightly more measured Russian perspective as heard on Eurosport. As for Phinney, he kept his pink jersey, got some X-rays at a local hospital, and returned to practice today, cankles and all....

NESN Invites Fans To Submit Questions For Bobby Valentine, Gets Flood Of Boy Band-Related Inquiries Instead
Like many official MLB team broadcasters, NESN features a program centered around the squad's manager. (NESN's version is helpfully titled The Bobby Valentine Show.)...

Key Witness In Jerry Sandusky Case Is Worst Witness Ever
Mike McQueary is creating quite a shitshow. McQueary, a former Penn State assistant football coach, provided the testimony that led to perjury charges against two university officials, which, in turn led to the firing of Joe Paterno. Last November, less than two weeks after the grand jury issued its...

The First Jose Canseco Joke Known To Mankind
It's easy to forget that Jose Canseco used to be a baseball player of some distinction and not just a social media punchline. Which got us thinking, how long has this been going on? When did the tide start to turn against the Worcester Tornadoes' newest outfielder?...

Vin Scully Raced Jackie Robinson On Ice Skates
For those of us living on the East Coast, there's no better teller of bedtime stories than Vin Scully. The embodiment of a man who has forgotten more about baseball than any of us will ever know, Scully weaves narratives from his 63 years with the Dodgers into his description of the events on-fiel...

Yu Darvish Is A Flamethrower On The Mound, Needs To Light A Match In The Dugout
Texas barbecued Baltimore last night 14-3, but it was Japanese pitching phenom Yu Darvish who appears to have smoked out the dugout with some nasty flatulence....

Source: Sarah Phillips Steered Business To A Bookie Who Was Probably Nilesh Prasad
So far, we know that former ESPN columnist Sarah Phillips and her partner, Nilesh Prasad, hijacked a 19-year-old's Facebook page, misrepresented their connections to ESPN, and engaged in some sort of minor-league hustle at a Corvallis, Ore., T-Mobile store. To that list, let's add another, more seri...

Nick Young's Shirt Is Proof The Mayans Were Right About 2012
The Clippers' Nick Young entered Staples Center last night clad in what appears to be a fortune teller's tablecloth turned into a shirt, except there wasn't enough fabric and they had to patch in some denim....

Australian Broadcaster Tries To Explain On-Camera Blowjob Gesture With Ridiculous Excuse
Reporter Jim Wilson was in the middle of speaking on Australia's Sky News when the broadcast unexpectedly cut back to the studio, where host James Bracey appeared to be mocking Wilson with what looked like a blowjob pantomime. It's caused a bit of a fuss Down Under, as explained by The Australian ...

RIP Adam Yauch, Indie Film Hero
In January, Bingham Ray died. A lot of moviegoers probably wouldn't have recognized his name, but if they loved independent film in the 1990s, they knew his work. The co-founder of October Films, Ray had helped distribute movies by Mike Leigh (Life Is Sweet, Secrets & Lies, Topsy-Turvy), Lars von Tr...
!["Now Get Lost And Stay Lost": Introducing Crap Emails From A Sportswriter [UPDATED]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/17lxhqrz8d7vjpng.png)
"Now Get Lost And Stay Lost": Introducing Crap Emails From A Sportswriter [UPDATED]
Ever email your constructive criticism to a sportswriter, only to receive a crappy, needlessly hostile response? Forward the emails to us at [email protected], subject: Crap Emails....

55-Year-Old Grandmother Tries Out For The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders
Back in February, Sharon Simmons, a 55-year-old grandmother of two from Carrollton, Texas, announced she would be trying out to become a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader. She's spent the last months training, working on routines with a professional dance coach. On Saturday, she joined hundreds of other wo...

Do You Know Any More About Patrick Kane's Drunken Saturday In Wisconsin?
Earlier today, we gleefully shared with you a compendium of photos of a blotto Patrick Kane. He was having good, clean fun at Saturday's Mifflin Street block party in Madison, or so we thought, anyway. We've since heard some things that don't reflect so well on Kaner. If you were at the Kollege Klub...

What If Every Pitcher In Baseball Were Mariano Rivera?
Trying to compare Mariano Rivera to other pitchers is like trying to compare a photon to other sprinters. Out for out, the difference between him and Pedro Martinez is the difference between Pedro and a league-average player. He hasn't had a full season much better or worse than any other, but he's ...