ew Page 3363 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

On Behalf Of Broncos Fans, The Denver-Area Real Estate Market Exacts Revenge On A Former Coach
"McDaniels just sold his 5,685 sqft Greenwood Village mansion for $1.95 mil ... HORRIBLE for Josh considering he bought the place for $2.5 mil back in 2009 just after he reportedly signed a 4-year, $8 mil contract with the Broncos." [TMZ: Photo H/T BroncosTalk]...

This Evening: Ronnie Woo Woo Pays His Cable Bill
Your p.m. roundup for Sept. 2, the day we discovered pizza on the moon. H/T to Ben for the photo. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The New Grantland TV Commercial Is Flirting With You
Honestly, I think they're just fucking with us now. If you're curious, the lady's monologue is a riff from Katie Baker's Grantland debut. [SportsGrid]...

Today In Unfortunate Headline Apostrophe Placement
From the Champaign-Urbana News-Gazette comes this doubletake-inducing headline on the start of football season. I'm sure it looked all nice and informal and innocuous in the sterile InDesign window, but when it actually gets put in a paper? A 48-point poop joke....

We're Sick Of Joe Theismann All Over Again
It's difficult not to pity Redskins fans, who, in addition to being Redskins fans, have to hear Joe Theismann talk about preseason football during preseason television broadcasts. And last night, just after Brandon Banks ended an otherwise splendid punt return by flipping the ball out of his hand ...

Never Teach Your Kids About Lightning
I have a 5-year-old kid. One of my jobs as a parent is to read books to the kid so that the kid can be smart and make lots of money and eventually buy me a big fucking house that I can drunkenly vomit all over, Gloria James-style. One of the things every parent should do before reading a book to a c...

Surfing, Like Most Things, Is Better With Flares
I honestly think all Red Bull-sponsored events exist solely for YouTube's sake....

The Italian Basketball Team Will Run Circles And Circles And Circles And Circles Around Everyone At EuroBasket
This clipboard belongs to Simone Pianigiani, the head coach of the Italian national basketball team, and we're told that it almost always resembles a toddler's masterpiece (and, yes, possibly an unintentional dong as well)....

Watch As Clay Hensley Takes Out His Frustration On A Water Bucket
It was only the third inning and the Marlins were still winning, but there were still no outs when Clay Hensley hit Ruben Tejada with a pitch and walked Lucas Duda with the bases loaded. After Hensley's 1-1 pitch to David Wright nearly sailed into Wright's chest, Jack McKeon just couldn't take it an...

Fred Taylor Retires A Jaguar, But How Much Does His One-Day Contract Pay?
"There are no dumb questions." That was a promising way for the Jaguars' representative to open the conversation when he returns my call regarding what I presumed was a dumb, dumb question....

Today In Shameless Corporate Behavior: The Redskins Hawk Obsolete Donovan McNabb Souvenir Cups
First, Dan Snyder sold Redskins fans the old peanuts he got from a bankrupt airline, as Dave McKenna mentions in "The Cranky Redskins Fan's Guide to Dan Snyder." (You have just experienced "We Are All Dave McKenna CCX.") Now Snyder is charging fans at FedExField $6 for Donovan McNabb soda cups. Oh, ...

Whoever Broke Into Chris Cooley's Art Gallery Did Not Care Much For The Art
Local police in Leesburg, Va. are searching for the suspect that broke into Chris Cooley's art gallery on South King Street early Friday morning. Thankfully, no art or pottery was stolen in the burglary. More importantly, though, Chris Cooley owns an art gallery....

Couch Burning Is No Longer Encouraged At West Virginia
WVU students burn couches. They burn them because the basketball team won. They burn them because the football team won. They burn them because the football team lost. They burn them because Bin Laden was killed. They burn them because it snowed. WVU students burn couches. It's what they do....

11-Year-Old Does Not Get $50,000 For Impossible Shot Hockey Shot, But Gets Next Best Thing: Nothing
We once again check in with Nick and Nate Smith, the young twins who won a raffle to take a shot from center ice for $50,000. Nick's name was drawn; Nate took the shot. Almost immediately it became clear that the insurance company didn't want to pay out, and today it's official....

Matt Cassel's Burden Is Heavier Than Anyone Imagined
Your morning roundup for Sept. 2, the day after we didn't have any change to toss into Bruce Springsteen's guitar case. Photo courtesy @IndianPacker, via @Sportsfeeder1. Got any stories or photos for us? Tip your editors....

The Boston Pro Lacrosse Team With A Mascot Who Loved Lap Dances Has Suspended Operations
Boston Blazers President and GM Doug Reffue announced — in a letter to "the Blazers community" on the team website — that the three-year-old National Lacrosse League franchise was temporarily closing up shop. They're looking "both locally and nationally" for a new home for the 2013 season....

So This Is What A Brawl In An Emergency Room Waiting Room Looks Like
Right about the time you think that this spectacle in an unnamed hospital's waiting room is over (about 2:15 in), the hair- and wifebeater-yanking commences. And yes, it seems like the guy in the blue-and-white striped shirt likes hitting women. So there's that, too....

Presenting A Great Point From Novak Djokovic's U.S. Open Match Against Some Guy Tonight
At the end of this crowd-rousing point tonight at Arthur Ashe Stadium, No. 1 seed Novak Djokovic was four games away from a triple-bagel win (6-0, 6-0, 6-0) over Carlos Berlocq. Novak would drop the next game — earning Berlocq some crowd adulation — and another before closing his foe out, but he a...

Jockey Who Drove His Car Into A Race Track Security Guard Was Not Permitted To Ride Horses Today
Last night, Hall of Fame jockey Kent Desormeaux is said to have intentionally driven his silver 2003 Porsche Carrera into a lady "peace officer" in the Saratoga Race Course parking lot. Bad form, yo....

Yeah, Ryan Braun Is Still Hearing About His Failed Inside-The-Park Home Run Trot
Last night, it was video of Reggie Miller watching Ryan Braun of the Brewers falling face first after rounding third....