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Supreme Court Wisely Declines To Hear Roger Clemens' Dumbass Appeal
Reassuring news out of DC today: the US Supreme Court—which hears less than one percent of the cases appealed there anyway—has declined to hear Roger Clemens' appeal re: his silly defamation case against former trainer Brian McNamee. Many moons ago, Clemens sued McNamee after he dished on Clemens' s...

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar Can Fit Inside A Bonnaroo Port-A-Potty
We have photographic evidence, courtesy of tipster Alex, that Kareem Abdul-Jabbar attended Bonnaroo this year — a fact some of you may have already known, depending on your hipness — and that he is both willing and able to use the common-folk Port-a-Potties at the annual four-day acid trip for our n...

Fresh Off Framing Richard Kimble For Uxoricide, One-Armed Man Catches Foul Ball
We saw this live on Friday but lacked the technical capabilities and the commitment to the job to track down the video until now....

Charles Barkley Has Opinions On Things
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: Barkley is asked questions and gives answers and it's fascinating as always....

Playing Left-Handed At Wimbledon Is As Big An Advantage As Playing Right-Handed
Today's New York Times reports from Wimbledon on the sneaky advantage that left-handed tennis players enjoy on grass:...

Why Your Fans Are Weird: The Bunny Man Of Yankee Stadium
We've seen the Bunny Man at enough Yankee games over the years to know he's got season tickets, and the felt rabbit handpuppet is doing his thing 100 percent of the time. Throughout the entire game the bunny sits on his lap, watching the game—he moves the puppet's head to follow the action on the ...

The Comeback Pig: Marv Albert, And How To Survive Any Sex Scandal
This month, Marv Albert celebrated his 70th birthday and joined the NFL on CBS. He announced he would leave his gig calling Nets games for the YES Network—he wouldn't have the time. The CBS job "wasn't something I was looking for," Albert said. Marv, at 70, is sports' most sought-after voice, so muc...

This Is The Most T.O. Thing You've Ever Done
When the season is actually delayed, we'll hate the NFL lockout for that. But for now we're just pissed at Goodell and/or De Smith that there's no football news out there. Summers suck for sports, and NFL draft/free agency/holdouts/training camp talk are an entire second season that we're lacking. W...

In Mongo Wrestling Alliance, Metalocalypse's Tommy Blacha brings us a world where pro wrestling is reality
Imagine a world in which professional wrestling dynasties carry the same weight as royal families. Such is the standard operating procedure of Metalocalypse co-creator Tommy Blacha's new Adult Swim cartoon Mongo Wrestling Alliance.… [io9] ...

The Week In Deadspin
A selection of stories from the week we were a politically incorrect figure wildly swinging a bat....

Lleyton Hewitt Can't Believe He Hit This Shot Either
There is little debate about whether or not Australia's Lleyton Hewitt is in decline; the 30-year-old who was once known for his speed has been suffering through battered knees and a slower step for a few years now. He lost to Robin Soderling in the second round at Wimbledon yesterday, 6-7, 3-6, 7...

Ritually Edgy T-Shirts Prompt Ritual Coverage Of Ritually Outraged Criticism
The Associated Press reports that the dry-goods sales-and-marketing company Nike has provoked a reaction by selling t-shirts designed to provoke a reaction. The shirts include "the phrases 'Dope,' 'Get High' and 'Ride Pipe,'" the AP reports....

Stories That Don't Suck: SportsFeat's Guide To Prodigies
Every Friday, SportsFeat picks a few great weekend reads for Deadspin. This week's theme, in honor of Rory McIlroy and Kyrie Irving, is sports prodigies. A note to those two: enjoy this moment. If these stories are any indication, there's a slight chance it won't last....

Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills Ruin NHL Awards With Confident, Butchered Pronunciation
Real Housewives Camille Grammer—Kelsey's ex—and Adrienne Maloof—sister of those bankrupt rich man-children who allegedly own the Sacramento Kings—presented the Lady Byng Trophy to Tampa Bay Lightning right wing Martin St. Louis at Wednesday's NHL Awards show. St. Louis is a six-time All-Star, he w...

Dead Wrestler Of The Week: Brian "Crush" Adams
An occasional feature in which we honor the sport's fallen and examine their legacies. Today: Brian "Crush" Adams, who died in 2007 after accidentally ingesting a lethal mixture of prescription drugs....

Four Last-Minute Delusions Around The NBA Draft
Basketball Has A Bright Future In The Garden State: Oh, Newark. Newark. The Nets got tired of looking at New Jersey, filed for divorce, and moved out of the Meadowlands. Brooklyn is so much richer, more sophisticated-it's just a better match. Don't you want the Nets to be happy? Oh, but Brooklyn's p...

Brewers Fan Tells Nyjer Morgan To Go Fly A Kite, So Nyjer Morgan Goes And Flies A Kite
More evidence that Nyjer Morgan is a singular soul: Reader Todd responded to one of those tweets that public figures always release into the Twittersphere to make their followers feel acknowledged (this one: "Wat should ur boy do today?"), only this public figure (sure, why not?) happened to be Nyje...

Hard-Hitting Dan Patrick Asks Kyrie Irving Where He's Going, About A Million Times
Every morning, the fine folks at Sports Radio Interviews sift through the a.m. drive-time chatter to bring you the best interviews with coaches, players, and personalities across the sports landscape. Today: The same question, asked many different ways....

Of Course The Pill-Popping Couple Charged With Four Pharmacy Murders Got Engaged At An Islanders Game
Per the New York Daily News, "A pill-popping, gun-loving Army vet and his junkie wife were charged Wednesday night in the cold-blooded massacre of four innocent people at a Long Island pharmacy. David Laffer and Melinda Brady were hauled out of his mother's Medford, L.I., house in handcuffs after h...

Facing A Season With No NFL, <em>Madden</em>'s Ultimate Team Looks To The Legends
In any discussion of the greatest video game athletes, the Michael Vick of Madden NFL 2004 always makes the cut, and is usually the most recent name on the list. In the eight years since his appearance, sports simulations have fine-tuned their realism, closing the era of logic-defying performances b...