ew Page 3501 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Josh McDaniels Wins The Weekend
In sports, everybody is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Josh McDaniels, who won the weekend by proving that he's not a foolishly incompetent man-child. Yes, the bar was set pretty low....

Someone Just Blew This Guy's Mind
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap....

When The Bands Are More Competitive Than The Football Teams
The epic Grambling State and Prairie View rivalry was taken to absurd new heights last week, as each team's marching band attempted to disrupt the other team's offense. Seriously, this is the most exciting story on SWAC football in years....

Phil Cuzzi's Career Trajectory Not Exactly A String Of Successes
Phil Cuzzi was once fired as a minor league umpire, and later appealed to the league president while tending bar at a New Jersey hotel. Twins fans could still use a stiff drink. [Augusta Chronicle, via FanHouse]...

Pitches, Man, Pitches
Looking toward a deep playoff run, the Yankees are trying to get their ducks in a row. That means telling the wives and girlfriends to stop being mean to Kate Hudson....

Does This Look Foul To You?
Good thing that Major League Baseball adds two extra umpires to cover those close plays down the line in the playoffs. That way no one will have any grounds to complain that a bad call completely ruined their season....

Breaking: Member Of New York Sports Media Writes Insightful Derek Jeter Story
Ian O'Connor provides a tangible reason for Captain Intangibles' rediscovered greatness: a fitness trainer who loosened up Jeter's stiff left hip, which previously had turned him into statuary any time a ball was hit toward second. So clutch! [Bergen Record]...

World Can At Last Make A Germane "Dirty Sanchez" Pun
QB Mark Sanchez was fined $5,000 for his cheap shot on the Saints' Jonathan Vilma, in which Sanchez launched himself at Vilma's knees during Darren Sharper's 99-yard interception return for a touchdown. Such poise! [Star-Ledger, Pro Football Talk]...

MLB Postseason Preview: Predictions!
No one knows anything, but hell, like anyone will remember anyone's predictions anyway. Here are the official Emeritus predictions for the Major League Baseball playoffs, which start (woo-hoo!) today....

BREAKING: Mark Sanchez Makes New York Ladies Swoon
The Jets golden boy quarterback is pretty nifty with the football, but did you know that he is also considered to be physically attractive? You do now, thanks to this hard hitting investigative report, "Mark Sanchez: Hot or Not?"...

MLB Postseason Preview: St. Louis Cardinals
For those refined gentlepeople who prefer the cerebral grace of baseball to the plebian savagery of football, October is the greatest of months. Will Leitch looks at each of the eight playoff combatants. Now up: The St. Louis Cardinals....

Wide Receiver Drama Over: Braylon Edwards Traded, Michael Crabtree Signs
Adam Schefter woke up early today and jumped on two stories that will disappoint fans of ridiculous melodrama. Now that the Braylon Edwards saga is over in Cleveland and Michael Crabtree has ended his holdout, what will we talk about?...

Even The Aflac Duck Has It Out For The Mets
Since we won't have them to kick around in October, let's dump this here. [Via]...

Michael David Barrett Gets A Little Shovey
Alleged EA peeper makes it through the camera throngs successfully but not before he pushes one out of the way before he can speed off in his Ford Mustang. He must feel so violated. [NBC Chicago via Bob's Blitz]...

MLB Postseason Preview: Los Angeles Angels Of Anaheim
For those refined gentlepeople who prefer the cerebral grace of baseball to the plebian savagery of football, October is the greatest of months. Will Leitch looks at each of the eight playoff combatants. Now up: Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim....

MLB Postseason Preview: Boston Red Sox
For those refined gentlepeople who prefer the cerebral grace of baseball to the plebian savagery of football, October is the greatest of months. Will Leitch looks at each of the eight playoff combatants. Now up: The Boston Red Sox....

Erin Andrews' Alleged Peeper, In The Flesh
Presenting Michael David Barrett, freshly outfitted with an electronic ankle monitor and no longer just a hastily drawn cartoon to us. He made a beeline for his car, evidently displeased with all those prying cameras. [Sportress of Blogitude, Chicago Tribune]...

MLB Postseason Preview: Colorado Rockies
For those refined gentlepeople who prefer the cerebral grace of baseball to the plebian savagery of football, October is the greatest of months. Will Leitch looks at each of the eight playoff combatants. Now up: The Colorado Rockies....

This Is What You Call The Hebert Salute
Former Saints quarterback Bobby Hebert let the shit-kickin' hillbilly overtake him after the Saints bullied the ball away from Captain Poise Pants to score a touchdown and put the game away....

Michael David Barrett Gets Home Confinement, Nifty Courthouse Sketch
The accused Erin Andrews peeper was ordered confined to his home in suburban Chicago. A judge barred him from using the Internet at home or work. That's him in the orange, showing no remorse for having made Patch Adams. [Sun-Times]...