ew Page 3526 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Get Ready For A Busy Day In Sports
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap.....
Tom Brady Must Be Thrilled
Hey, it's his new bride being groped by nude, muscular black men! [Arab Aquarius]...
Ron Artest Regales TNT With A State Of The Union Address From Planet Crazy
His opinions aren't that off-base — I think considering what Brandon Roy's done in the playoffs so far, he's deserving of some over-the-top praise. Barkley? Probably would have been less effective had he spent his prime years during this NBA era. But it's Artests hyperactive, glazed-over expression ...
What Ever Happened To "The Jewish Jordan"?
Do you remember Tamir Goodman, the greatest Orthodox Jewish basketball player ever to come out of the greater Baltimore area? Do you ever wonder what happened to him? Spoiler Alert!: Still Jewish. [NBC Washington]...
Hawks Radio Announcers Might Be Biased Against Dwayne Wade
Things got a little chippy during Atlanta's 106-91 mugging of Miami, but that seemed okay with the Hawks radio crews—as long as "the great Dwayne Wade" was on the receiving end of the rough stuff....
Yankees Reduce Prices From "Highway Robbery" To "Alleyway Mugging"
Have you heard about this NEW Yankee Stadium? It's just like the old one—only 14 times more expensive. So how do you sell $2,500-a-game tickets? Charge the bargain-basement price of $1,250!...
Fun Conspiracy Theories About ESPN.com's Pony Attack
Several emailers have pointed out an odd coincidence between ESPN.com's cornification and an interview featuring America's Sideline Princess. We may have our first real suspect....
New Jersey Would Probably Like That Last Minute Back
It's one thing to give up the game-tying goal in the last 1:20 of a Game 7, but to give up a game-tying and game-winning goal in the last 1:20—that's probably going to haunt you....
Denver Nuggets Do Not Feel Remorse Or Pity
The Nuggets beat the Hornets by 58 points last night, tying an NBA record for heartless cruelty. Why do you make them hit you like that, New Orleans? [ProBasketballNews; Denver Stiffs]...
Donald Brashear Suspended Six Games For Breaking Faces
Six! One for pushing Colton Orr and five for a late hit on Blair Betts—so he'll miss Tuesday's Game 7 and most (maybe all?) of the next series if they win....
A Bold New Sanchez-To-Burress Era For Jets Fans?
Jets general manager Mike Tannenbaum said that the Jets contacted agent Drew Rosenhaus prior to the draft to ask about Plaxico Burress's legal situation. [USA Today]...
And Now The Bill Cosby-Erin Andrews Comedy Minute
This is what happens when you try to put on 15 hours of continuous live coverage of an inherently boring event. Like there weren't already enough senile old men rambling at NFL Live desk....
Fine: There Is No Greater Bond Between Father And Son Hockey Fans Than Celebratory Fellatio
That headline is going to be a Google goldmine. [YouTube]...
Stephen A. Smith Still Has Remarkable Confidence That Stephen A. Smith Can Continue Being Stephen A. Smith
Stephen A. Smith is taking his ESPN loser's lap to the airwaves, but is still passionately promoting STEPHEN A. THE BRAND to whomever gives him the opportunity to talk about himself....
Talladega Asks That Fans Stay Alert For Flying Cars
The Aaron's 499 was a big fiery mess yesterday, which is either awesome or terrible depending on your opinion of NASCAR's true joys. Or how close you were sitting to the debris zone....
Rangers Coach Suspended For Fighting Fans
It looks like Sean Avery's hot-headed, loose cannon ways are rubbing off on his head coach John Tortorella, who got himself suspended for today's crucial Game 6 (on national TV!) against the Capitals....
T-R-D-E! Trade! Trade! Trade!
The Browns were all "hey, let's pick someone" and the Jets were all "um, no, how bout we draft?" and the Browns were all "whoa" and the Jets were all "yay, Sanchez!"...
Stafford Welcomed To Detroit With Warm, Prickly Arms
Yes, Stafford is now with the Detroit Lions. And who can blame them? They totally had the other team winning the 2008 Capital One Bowl. I'd boo too....
Your 2009 Detroit Lions Are Matthew Stafford And Ten Other Guys
The tension building around the first overall pick has been punctured with anonymous sources for, I think, the 312th straight year. We know that Matthew "Matt" Stafford will be the Lions' guy....