ew Page 3528 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Druggie NFL Prospects Not Actually On Drugs
Remember all the fuss recently about certain draft prospects who tested positive for drugs at the scouting combine and how it made everyone sad for today's youth? Yeah, none of those guys actually tested positive....

Jason Giambi Grows Up. Sort Of.
Jason Giambi's recent interview with GQ shows that even though he's now 38-years-old, he's still the same freewheeling maniac that you'd want to host your bachelor party....

"Moneyball" Author Has A Small Penis, Cruel Family
"Daddy has a small penis!" That's according to his toddler daughter, who likes to let everyone at her day care center know that fact about her father. [NYP]...

Doc Gooden: Wanton CitiField Graffiti Outlaw
Apparently Felix Unger is now in charge of stadium operations at CitiField. Hey, it's a brand new stadium! Don't write on the walls! Even if you've won a Cy Young Award and your name is Doc Gooden....

Alexander Ovechkin Would Have Made A Lousy Cold War Spy
The Captials star was booted from the Rangers practice today "'because they're afraid of me,' he said with a smile." Really? Which of your first two home losses scared them the most? [NYPost]...

The Continuing Sports Media Evolution Of Condi Rice
According to sources at HBO, at a production meeting last week, staffers were informed that former Sec. Of State Condoleezza Rice's agent had inquired about her joining Bryant Gumbel's "Real Sports" reporting team....

This New Detroit Lion Logo Should Fix Everything
The rumors are true. It seems that the new Lions logo that "leaked" awhile back is legit and a new typeface and squiggly lines will soon usher in a glorious new era of Detroit football....

Sidney Crosby Gets The Philadelphia Salute; Deadspin Almost Falls Apart
Got an image you'd like to see in here first thing in the morning? Send it to [email protected]. Subject: Morning crap...

Meet Your Weekend Deadspin Guest Editor, In The Most "Weekend" Sense Of The Term
I'm Moe, and contrary to what some of you seem to be insinuating, I haven't smoked weed in such a long time you would probably have to carbon-date my urine to find any trace....

Chances Are, You'll See This At The NFL Combine In 2010
Matthew Stafford's football-skeeting is pretty amazing. That's not supposed to sound pornographic. [Jimmy Fallon]...

Oy! Jets Schedule Conflicts With High Holidays
All that kvetching and gnashing of teeth you hear is because Jewish New York Jets fans may have to miss a quarter of their team's home games due to an NFL scheduling mixup....

America's Green Room Princess
The stars continue to magnificently align for Erin Andrews, as the ESPN mother ship has officially anointed her worthy of interviewing muscular young men in tailored suits and shiny team logo'd hats....

Isiah Thomas Promises No More Sex Harassing, Suicide Attempts, Personal Salaries
In the latest installment of the Isiah Thomas career makeover, our hero magnanimously told the assembled press corps that his first year's salary as coach of FIU will be given back to the school....

AJ’s Deadspin Polygraph Test And Magic Panda Bears
We were scheduled to have a special guest from ESPN on this Deadcast, but they had to cancel. Which is good, because it allowed me to further indulge my passion for talking about elevator pissing....

A.J. Burnett Is The Most Dominating Pitcher In Baseball Right Now
The fears about his elbow disintegrating into a pile of bony ash midway through the season are set aside for now. Burnett flirted with a no-no, flummoxed the Rays, wins 7-2. [NYT]...

The Queen Of Queens
America's Sideline Princess became America's Baseline Princess, spending most of last night's Citi Field opener giving fans an extensive tour of the new ballpark, while slack-jawed yokels stood idly by and tried not to drool....

Nick Swisher To The Rescue
The Yankees off-season pitching additions are starting to pay-off. Swisher's line yesterday: 1.0IP 1H 0R 1K. Unfortunately they lost to the DRays 15-5. [3:10 To Joba]...

Easter In New Zealand Seems Festive
When there's a "Great Easter Bunny Hunt" in America it usually involves laughing children carrying wicker baskets filled with Cadbury eggs. But in New Zealand it involves 14,799 bloody bunny carcasses....

Usain Bolt Talks About Rollin' With His Homies
"In Jamaica, you learn as a child how to roll a joint. Everyone here has tried it. I did too — but I was real young then." [SI/AP]...

Tazed And Confused At Ted Ginn's Birthday Bash
"Buffalo Bills defensive back and former Ohio State star Donte Whitner was tasered and arrested early this morning following a birthday celebration at the House of Blues, police said." [Cleveland.com]...