f Page 1001 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Big Sleepy Boy Mike Francesa Conks Out On The Air Yet Again
My friends, it has happened again. For at least the third time, reluctant sports grouch Mike Francesa dozed off on the air. There are two ways you can be sure this is Francesa conking out: first, look at him, the microphone pushes his glasses an inch up his face before a hypnic jerk yanks him back t...
Recommitted Cardinals Star Patrick Peterson Hit With Six-Game PED Suspension
Arizona Cardinals all-world cornerback Patrick Peterson has been suspended by the NFL for the first six games of the 2019-20 regular season, for violation of the league’s policy on performance enhancing substances. According to Mike Garafolo of NFL Network, Peterson’s suspension includes four games ...
Kaapo Kakko Looks Like A Beautiful, Unstoppable Monster
The projected second pick in the upcoming NHL Draft has been nothing short of dazzling for his native Finland during the ongoing IIHF World Championships in Slovakia. Kaapo Kakko, the 18-year-old winger who broke the Finnish league’s record for most goals by a first-time draft-eligible player, has b...
The Mastermind Behind The College Admissions Scandal Used To Be A Crazy Middle School Basketball Coach
The members of a middle school basketball team that represented a Jewish Community Center in Omaha, Nebraska, were not expecting the 2001 season to be an auspicious one. The previous season had produced mediocre results, and there was no reason to expect much of an improvement going forward. That al...
Manchester City Face Champions League Ban For Breaking UEFA's Dumb Rules
Things are moving quickly against Manchester City. After a report earlier this week that the back-to-back Premier League champions could face a ban from the Champions League, the New York Times reports that a ruling is imminent. All of this because Manchester City, the poster boys for the current fi...
This Lady Running Like A Horse Is Really, Really Good At Running Like A Horse
This is Ayla Kirstine, a Norwegian woman who went viral on German Twitter this week for running like a horse. You may have questions—“Why is she running like a horse?” would be a good one—though you cannot deny that this pferdmädchen is extremely good at running, and even jumping, like a horse....
Is There Anything Fishy About The Sharks?
The San Jose Sharks have forged a reputation over the decades of always being invited to the party and always having to leave by 10:30, either because that’s when their ride is leaving or they have to relieve the babysitter or they have to work in the morning and need their eight hours because they ...
We Have Exceeded The Recommended Dose Of NBA Excitement
Sometimes there are Deadcasts where Drew and I spend twenty minutes saying, like, “soup is canceled” back and forth to each other. It’s just going to happen sometimes, because even though we enjoy talking about sports and all that, there are also just many more weeks in a year than there are good sp...
What Will Zion Williamson Put Up His Rookie Year?
Barring some unlikely outcomes—an inspiring protest that gets him out of New Orleans, a defiant but ultimately depressing return to the accursed NCAA—Zion Williamson will suit up for the Pelicans this fall. What will he do there?...
Don't Send Joe Thornton To The Old Folks Home Just Yet
On your typical playoff team that features a wizened old veteran looking for his first-ever championship, the old guy isn’t much more than a walking feel-good story, there to positively affect the locker room and take charge with the media. As the San Jose Sharks moved through the Western Conference...
Baseball Owners Want An International Draft Because They Want Absolute Control
For North America’s amateur baseball players, be they generational talents like Mike Trout or organizational filler like Mike Fish, the road to the majors begins in the same place: with Major League Baseball’s amateur draft. There is no such system in place for international players, at least not ye...
Idiot On The Field Runs Himself Into A Corner, Gets Leveled
If you are going to run onto a major league baseball field in the middle of a game, there are two keys to survival. The first is to always keep moving, and the second is to have an exit strategy. The fan who invaded the field at last night’s Braves game followed the first rule, but failed miserably ...
The Blues Got Screwed By Yet Another Officiating Disaster
Images the NHL wants to linger after an hard-fought overtime game: the jubilation of the goalscorer; his teammates erupting on the bench and spilling over to celebrate on the ice; the disappointment and hard-earned exhaustion of the losers, skating off in disbelief....
Brook Lopez Leads The Bucks Over Kyle Lowry And The Raptors, Just As We All Saw Coming
In an epic matchup of global basketball superstars, Brook Lopez led his top-seeded Milwaukee Bucks over Kyle Lowry and the second-seeded Toronto Raptors, 108–100, in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals. Lowry led the Raptors to an early lead and kept them in front for the first three quarters, b...
Timo Meier's Controversial Assist Hands The Sharks A Game 3 Win
You’re not going to believe this, but there was a huge controversy in the NHL Playoffs tonight. In overtime of Game 3 between the Sharks and the Blues, Erik Karlsson scored the winner, his second goal of the game, to give San Jose a 2-1 lead in the series. The Sharks’ 5-4 victory was not received po...
Tragic Hero Trevor Cahill Pays Dearly For Runaway Ambition
Wednesday afternoon the Angels lost a close one to the Minnesota Twins, 8–7. Angels pitcher Trevor Cahill took the loss, allowing six earned runs in 4.1 innings pitched, so right there you already know it wasn’t his best day. The defining moment of Cahill’s lousy outing, and certainly the most regre...
Pascal Siakam Reduces "Splash Mountain" To Rubble With Savage Dunk
Seems like Bucks scrapper Ersan Ilyasova thought he’d have more help in the paint when he overplayed the right hand of Raptors forward Pascal Siakam, in the first quarter of Wednesday night’s Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals. In an unfortunate coincidence, it seems like Bucks center Brook “Sp...
Stephen A. Smith Wrings Emmy-Worthy Performance Out Of Knicks' Lottery Agony
The day after the tragicomic New York Knicks were denied the opportunity to draft Zion Williamson, a nation alternately laughing at more Knicks misery and consoling those who got their hopes up turned their eyes to the cranky bard of Knicks angst: Stephen A. Smith....
The Time Dave McKenna Played Offensive Tackle
Our beloved colleague Dave McKenna tells good stories. He’s done a lot of cool shit, met many weird people in weird ways, and had his run-ins with the law. And after selfishly squirreling all his stories away in Slack and our brains for years, we’ve realized we have a societal obligation to share....
This Is Boston's Chance To Get Anthony Davis, As Long As They Don't Fuck It Up
Annoyingly, the vile Boston Celtics might get what they wanted after all. While the draft lottery ended in the most frustrating fashion for every team involved except New Orleans, the Boston brain trust had to be ecstatic to see the main Anthony Davis trade asset (Zion Williamson) off the board. Tho...