f Page 1034 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Deserve's Got Nothing To Do With It When Adults Lose Their Minds Over A Foul Ball
Foul ball and dinger retrieval rights shouldn’t necessarily be decided by merit. The most qualified person in a given section to score a game ball is generally going to be an adult with a baseball glove and a disconcertingly high threshold for self-humiliation. By contrast, the least qualified perso...
Here's A Fun Activity To Do While Your Team Doesn't Sign Dallas Keuchel Or Craig Kimbrel
When Sunday, June 2, turns to Monday, June 3, the 30 Major League Baseball teams that declined to sign 2015 American League Cy Young Award winner Dallas Keuchel and seven-time All-Star closer Craig Kimbrel as free agents last winter will simultaneously lose their last and best remaining excuse for n...
A Calm But Occasionally Perplexing Interview With The Ex-NBA Scout Who Beefed With All His Critics On Twitter
Bryan Oringher, a former video coordinator for the Wizards as well as a former scout for the Raptors and Hawks, has since left the NBA to make a career in public-facing basketball commentary. The one hitch in that plan is that he has struggled to peacefully interface with the public....
Caster Semenya Appeals To Swiss Supreme Court To Stop IAAF's Discrimination Against Her
South African runner Caster Semenya is officially appealing the discriminatory regulations put in place to stop her from competing in her best event, the 800 meters. ...
The Bruins Don't Want To Talk About Getting Into Bed With Barstool Sports
The Boston Bruins were happy to plug their Barstool Sports towels this morning ahead of tonight’s Game 2, but for some reason they now don’t want to talk about the partnership....
Kaapo Kakko Is A Good Teen Who's Too Busy Partying To Go To The NHL Combine
The World Championships were a coming-out party for Kaapo Kakko, who spent the last year tearing up Finland’s top pro league, before proving on an international stage that he can do more than just hang with the world’s best. The 18-year-old winger lit up Worlds for six goals in 10 games as Finland t...
Liga MX And MLS Will Compete For A New, Meaningless Trophy
Starting in July, MLS and Liga MX will compete in a new, eight team, single elimination competition to crown the best club in Mexico and the United States (Canada can go fuck itself unless Toronto, Vancouver, or Montreal qualify for the tourney, I guess). At least, that’s in theory what is being pit...
Tiger Woods's Old Swing Coach Gets Real Shitty About Women's Golf On His Radio Show
Hank Haney is an old golf fogey who is best known for at one point being Tiger Woods’s swing coach. He now hosts his own radio show about golf, and during this morning’s edition of the show he said some pretty gross things about the LPGA....
Daniele De Rossi Was Roma, Until The Very End
Daniele De Rossi’s Roma career ended with a fittingly meaningless win in front of his adoring fans. More than any other player in this current era of the Giallorossi, De Rossi symbolized the duality of the team’s good-but-not-quite-good-enough nature. In his 17 seasons at the Italian capital, De Ros...
Even If The Warriors Win, Oakland Loses
This is the real NBA Finals, the one that transcends Larry O’Brien, Kevin Durant, Kawhi Leonard, Doris Burke, Woj, Adam Silver, dynasties, the next Why-The-Lakers-Are-On-Fire tell-all, the works. This is Oakland’s last stand with the team it raised from a pup, its last healthy bite of an apple that ...
Rough-Touch Football Gave Me More Than Just Money And Bruises
Bear called around seven and told me to wake up Moe....
78 Seconds Of Batshit Argentine Soccer Features Violent Tackles, Tears, Unconscionable Flopping
Argentine soccer is plagued by a bullshit macho culture where the biggest sin is losing and the biggest virtue is lunging about, heedlessly throwing your body into as many opponents as possible to prove how large your testicles are. For a short clip demonstrating the anarchic, violent, dive-y style ...
Todd Frazier Eats Pancakes Weird
Mets guy Todd Frazier had some chocolate-chip pancakes....
The Rays Drew Their Smallest Crowd Ever
It’s old hat by now to say the Rays have attendance issues. The stadium’s bad. The location’s bad. Ownership is bad. The region itself might be bad. (Neil deMause ran down each of the theories in turn.) We know all this already. But it’s still news when an MLB team draws under 6,000 people, and ther...
We've A New Contender For The Title Of Worst Ceremonial First Pitch Of All Time
The look on the face White Sox pitcher Evan Marshall, doing the catching for the ceremonial first pitch ahead of Tuesday night’s Royals-White Sox game, tells you something. That is not the expression of a man who has a lot of confidence in the person doing the hurling. That expression says this may ...
Raiders Give Richie Incognito His, What, 50th Chance
Offensive lineman Richie Incognito, last with the Buffalo Bills, retired before the 2018 season and said his liver and kidneys were “shutting down.” Today the Oakland Raiders convinced him to return to football and take a one-year, prove-it deal. What that means is that if the signing doesn’t work o...
The Buccaneers Tried Accounting Tricks To Claim Money From The BP Oil Spill
This is something else: A federal appeals court rejected the Tampa Bay Buccaneers’ attempt to secure nearly $20 million from a settlement fund designed to compensate victims of the 2010 Deepwater Horizon oil spill, on the grounds that the Bucs tried to use some shady-ass accounting to justify their ...
<i>Sports Illustrated</i> Bosses Insist To Staff That Being Sold To Necrophilic Brand Enthusiasts Is Good
For 65 years, Sports Illustrated has persisted in narrowly covering sports, neglecting those who would like to, say, have their prostates examined in SI-branded medical clinics by doctors wearing SI-branded lab coats, or drape themselves in SI-branded bikinis, or eat an SI-branded hot dog at their k...
The Aliens Are Not Real, And Also They're Total Cowards
Maybe you have seen the news that ... well, what, exactly? Near as I can tell the “news” is that lots and lots of Navy pilots have seen UFOs, but that somehow none of them have recorded anything but grainy, indistinct, Classic Arts Showcase–ass video of blurry dots which we’re meant to believe are t...
Fresno Grizzlies Are Sorry For Memorial Day Video That Showed Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez As Freedom’s Enemy
Between games of a Memorial Day doubleheader, the Fresno Grizzlies displayed a video on the big screen for the holiday. Backed by a selection from Ronald Reagan’s first inaugural address—the parts about freedom and dignity and how America will never surrender, not the parts about shrinking the feder...