f Page 1048 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Future Of Football Is A Lie<em></em>
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....
Bryce Harper Met With The Giants, But That Won't Work Out Either
It is extremely difficult to talk about the continuing free agencies of Bryce Harper and Manny Machado without finding yourself trapped in a valley of nihilistic despair, with no hope of escape besides the sudden appearance of a “mystery team” savior. With five days until Spring Training begins, eve...
Daniel Bryan's War On Vince McMahon And The Boomers Isn't Just For Show
The high point of Daniel Bryan’s still-young heel turn came a couple weeks ago. More specifically, it came when he delivered a blistering rant about climate change, capitalism, consumerism, and the ethical failure inherent in eating meat. He did this right there on television where everyone could se...
Look Who's Back!
The only thing that really matters about a catchphrase is that it gets said. The repetition is the meaning. Of course, by definition, We’re Back every time a new Deadcast arrives online. This is true if it’s Marchman and me and Lauren, or if it’s Marchman and Megan and Dom, or theoretically if it wa...
Saints Fans Will Literally Go To Their Graves Upset About That Blown Call
The Saints should have played against the Patriots in Super Bowl LIII, if not because of the blown NFC Championship pass interference call that would have all but won New Orleans the game, then at least because watching Drew Brees against the Pats’ defense sounds a hell of a lot better than seeing a...
One Week After Declaring They Would Not Trade Otto Porter, The Wizards Trade Otto Porter For A Pile Of Trash
Almost exactly one week ago, Wizards owner Ted Leonsis mocked the very notion of his team trading any of John Wall, Bradley Beal, or Otto Porter, describing it as essentially a wacky, unworkable, and short-sighted fan theory....
Maryland's Bruno Fernando Stomped On A Nebraska Dude
Maryland’s Bruno Fernando made an enemy out of every man, woman, and child in Nebraska tonight, as in the second half of the Terrapins’ road game against the Cornhuskers, the brilliant big man finished off a dunk with some Ndamukong Suh action on poor Tanner Borschart. Borschart looked like he may h...
Jason Whitlock: LeBron James Is A Fraud And A Bad Leader Because He's An Only Child
LeBron James is an only child. This is a fact. Has the independence and pathological need for affirmation he picked up as an only child held him back, made him a bad teammate, and caused “organizational toxicity” at every one of his four NBA stops? If this extremely stupid question somehow seems lik...
This Is The Virginia I Remember
I was born and reared in Virginia and still hold fondness for the state as often as it embarrasses me and anybody who claims it. Times like these. That blackface/klansman photo that will end up getting the governor bounced was in a yearbook, after all, from a state school....
Who's Killing The Soul Of Sneaker Culture?
PITTSBURGH — In East Liberty sits a store that never looks open. While nobody would ever admit it, it’s possible that this is a deliberate move. Tinted windows obscure the inside of the store until you’re up close, and those windows are adorned with decorative oak bars all giving the impression of a...
Report: The Patriots Will Soon Be Schiano Men
For the first time since 2001, Bill Belichick will hire a coordinator from outside of the Patriots staff. The Boston Globe reported this morning that erstwhile Ohio State defensive coordinator Greg Schiano will join the team to serve in the same role, replacing de facto 2018 DC and now-Miami-bound B...
Nobody Wants The Raiders
Of all the narratives (a word I fully intend to expunge from the language as soon as I am named Secretary of Taste in the Harris administration) that the National Football League has had to combat in the last five years, there has been none quite so surreptitiously corrosive as the story of The NIMB...
Miami Hurricanes Sign Large, Tatted-Up Australian To Be Their New Punter
Australia has been a good source of punting prospects for American football, but rarely have they looked this Australian. Meet Louis Hedley, the new punter signed by the Miami Hurricanes. Yes, this guy is playing college ball:...
Sean McVay Clone Who Worked For Sean McVay Insists He Won't Try To Be Sean McVay
Meet Zac Taylor, the Bengals’ new head coach. His name will rarely be more than five words away from “Sean McVay” in any broadcast of his team’s games. Although it seems very obvious that his connection to his former boss was the reason Taylor went from being the Rams’ QBs coach to fielding interv...
John Wall Imperils Several Perfectly Fine Ligaments Threatening JuJu Smith-Schuster Over Injury Joke
Steelers wide receiver JuJu Smith-Schuster gave some very mild business to John Wall over the particulars of his latest injury, which involved Wall rupturing his Achilles tendon while walking around his own home. Wall is no doubt in a sensitive state of mind at the moment, and he was not amused:...
Raiders Stiff-Armed By San Francisco In Mark Davis's Desperate Search For A Temporary Home
The saga of Mark Davis looking for a temporary home for his relocating Raiders took another stupid turn this week, after the team reportedly arrived at a plan to play their home games in nearby San Francisco. Turns out that plan, like so many of this idiot organization’s endeavors, was a big dumb n...
Pacers Fans Taunt Brandon Ingram With Ruthless "LeBron's Gonna Trade You" Chant
The Lakers are very sleepily facing the Indiana Pacers Tuesday night. Everything about this game feels dreary and perfunctory—the Lakers have already offered up half their roster in a trade for Anthony Davis, while the Pacers are playing out the string on a season that lost much of its promise once ...
Christian Pulisic Finally Played And Scored The Type Of Goal That Made Him Worth $73 Million
Christian Pulisic hasn’t been having the best time in this, his final season at Germany’s Borussia Dortmund before his record-breaking transfer to Chelsea becomes official. He had only made two substitute appearances for the Black and Yellow since the transfer was announced, and though he did get a ...