f Page 1113 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Of Course Lionel Messi Has Become A Master Of Free Kicks
Lionel Messi is slowing down. It’s a painful thing to admit, but it’s true. As the old saw goes, Father Time is undefeated, and there is no greater testament to how unbelievable Messi was at his peak than the fact that he remains far and away the best player in the world in spite of Father Time’s ef...
Ass Team Of The Week: Washington Sucked Down A Doo-Doo Milkshake On Purpose
Not so long ago Washington was a boring football team that nevertheless appeared destined to play in precisely one playoff game, which all Americans could feel comfortable skipping. On Sunday, though, they found themselves down 40-0 to the Giants, a very bad team that was also playing without Odell ...
The Mets Are Ready To Get Weird
It was, from the outside, a quiet day in Las Vegas for the second day of baseball’s winter meetings. Not much stirring; a chilly day in the desert. But inside? Oh, inside, that stove is red fucking hot....
Bulls Rudely Mocked For Jim Boylen's Practice Schedule Following Another Ugly Loss
Fresh off an air-clearing series of meetings having to do with interim head coach Jim Boylen being an overbearing dickweed, the lowly Bulls took the floor Monday night looking to reverse course after a historic beatdown. Their opponent, the Kings, is another team that was supposed to spend this seas...
Russell Wilson, What, And Why, And What
The Seahawks went into halftime of their Monday Night Football clash against the Vikings* holding a 3–0 lead. It wasn’t a real pretty half of football. Kirk Cousins and Russell Wilson combined for 71 yards of passing on 20 attempts, and the teams put together exactly two drives of anything that cou...
Nationals Somehow Add New Layers Of Humiliation To Loss Of Bryce Harper
The Nationals have historically acquitted themselves far better in free agency than their fellow DC professional sports teams, at least two of whom are excruciatingly awful at signing players. But in their hurry to announce their franchise-altering failure to retain Bryce Harper, they appear to have...
Raiders Fire GM Reggie McKenzie, Ideally Giving Jon Gruden Unlimited Power
Well, well, well. Raiders head coach Jon Gruden has two things to celebrate today. Not only did his team win Sunday after the Steelers cratered their pants, but today Oakland fired general manager Reggie McKenzie after almost seven seasons, creating an opportunity for Grudes to gain even more power....
It Only Took Four Bears To Make Jared Goff Look Like A Chump
Jared Goff had maybe the worst game of his career on Sunday night against the Bears, putting up just 180 passing yards on 44 attempts and tossing three non–Hail Mary interceptions and zero touchdowns in L.A.’s 15-6 loss. For a Rams team that had scored at least 29 points in each of its past six game...
The Bucs Had A Punt Blocked By A QB Named Taysom
Taysom Hill plays more than you’d expect from a backup to Drew Brees’s backup. Saints head coach Sean Payton uses Hill as a change-of-pace QB, usually to run the read-option, and he’s logged at least seven offensive snaps in every Saints game this year. Hill had more run earlier in the season when h...
Leonard Fournette Says The Heckler He Threatened To Beat Up Called Him A Racial Slur
This morning, TMZ published a video shot by a fan at Thursday’s game between the Jaguars and Titans, in which Jaguars running back Leonard Fournette can be seen confronting someone in the stands. Fournette can be heard yelling, “You’re too old for that,” and “I’m gonna beat your ass,” at the unseen ...
Paul Konerko Has A Good Bad Idea For The Hall Of Fame
The baseball world is very bored right now, and so is in high dudgeon over the election to the Hall of Fame of Lee Smith (fine, whatever) and Harold Baines. Harold Baines! It’s alternately inexplicable (Harold Baines was good for a long time, but c’mon, he’s no Ryan Klesko) and completely explicable...
Guy At Knicks Game Unwisely Tries To Get Team Staffer To Sit Down By Tugging On His Coat
Sure, it’s frustrating to have your view obstructed while trying to watch the scintillating matchup that is Nets-Knicks, but if it’s a staffer on one of the teams, don’t grab the person! Don’t grab anyone, for that matter....
Frank Ntilikina Gave The Knicks A "Please Don't Trade Me" Game
Frank Ntilikina racked up three straight DNPs, even on this tanking team with no immediate ambitions. The Knicks are a buffalo carcass out in the plains, and trade whispers flitted around like flies. It was uncomfortably easy to envision the Knicks’ 2017 lottery pick, who is still a basketball inf...
The Bears' Trick Play Was A Work Of Beefy Genius
Last night’s game between the Rams and Bears, a 15-6 victory for Chicago, has everyone talking about the power of the Bears’ defense. And with good reason! When you go out there and throttle one of the best offenses in the league in the middle of a high-scoring era like this one, you deserve to be t...
Really? These Fuckin' Guys?
Relief pitcher Lee Smith and right fielder/DH Harold Baines were both elected to the Baseball Hall of Fame on Sunday night by the Today’s Game Era Committee. Its voters gave Smith its unanimous approval, while Baines just hit the 75 percent threshold with 12 out of 16 votes. (Lou Piniella fell just ...
The Miami Miracle Was 12 Years In The Making
The Miami Miracle was, like any even-half-decent football play, lovingly swiped. In this case, from one of the greatest college football games ever played: Boise State vs. Oklahoma in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl. The Dolphins’ last gasp was supposed to be the relatively simple hook and lateral that Boise S...
Steelers Waste Amazing Hook-And-Ladder Play Against Raiders With Smelly Wet Fart
For a brief moment, it looked as though the Steelers had become the second team today to pull off a miraculous late-game hook-and-ladder play to snatch a last-second victory. With 15 seconds left in regulation, Ben Roethlisberger, who was on his second attempt at a Willis Reed impression, got the pl...
Buzzkill Cowboys Get In The Way Of Eagles' Group Touchdown Celebration
In a game that will likely be used to begin sleep studies for decades to come, the Eagles waited until the second half to score their first points of the day. Carson Wentz connected with Alshon Jeffery for a two-yard touchdown throw just one play after Philly’s defense picked off Dak Prescott on the...
Mark Sanchez Did Not, In Fact, Know The Offense
Mark Sanchez was responsible for the first touchdown of the game between Washington and New York. Only problem was that it was a pick-six. On a second-and-11 on his team’s one-yard line late in the first quarter, Sanchez’s first pass of the drive was deflected at the line and taken to the house by C...