f Page 1120 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Ryan Fitzpatrick's Gotta Start Next Week, Right?
The second quarter was FitzTragic, as the Buccaneers QB—as of yesterday, and that’s all that’s certain—threw three interceptions on three consecutive passes. But that was an aberration, one quarter in three games. On the other hand, Ryan Fitzpatrick’s near-comeback in a 30-27 loss to the Steelers ge...
Report: Vikings Lineman Everson Griffen Threatened To Shoot Someone At Minneapolis Hotel
Everson Griffen missed Sunday’s surprising 27–6 home loss to the Buffalo Bills due to “a personal matter,” according to Vikings head coach Mike Zimmer. According to a report from ABC 5 Eyewitness News, the personal matter was a strange episode at the team’s Minneapolis team hotel Saturday that invol...
Ryan Fitzpatrick Is Finally Ryan Fitzpatricking
Oh boy. Last weekend Ryan Fitzpatrick was strutting around like a Times Square Conor McGregor impersonator, looking very secure as Tampa Bay’s starting quarterback after consecutive 400-yard performances. It’s now halftime of his team’s Monday Night Football matchup with the Pittsburgh Steelers, and...
Vance McDonald Buries Chris Conte With Devastating Stiff-Arm
The longest walk back to the sideline of Chris Conte’s life had to come after this 75-yard Vance McDonald touchdown catch-and-run. Bring in the Eternal Sunshine machine to wipe this moment out of Conte’s memory forever:...
Seattle Somehow Reaches New Arena Deal Without Horribly Screwing Generations Of Taxpayers
The Seattle City Council voted unanimously Monday to approve a plan to let a group of private investors build a new stadium on the site of the current home of the Seattle Storm and the former home of the Seattle Supersonics, as part of a push to land an expansion NHL franchise later this year....
Bad Soccer Men Try And Thankfully Fail To Beat The Hell Out Of Referee
A soccer match from earlier this month between Indonesian clubs Persegres Gresik United and Persiwa Wamena exploded into chaos when a few players who took issue with a controversial penalty call sought to communicate their dissatisfaction to the ref by beating his ass:...
The Giants Finally Used Saquon Barkley The Right Way
The Giants beat the Texans for their first win on Sunday, and they may have even saved their season. Aw, hell. This one calls for a few exclamation points. The offense looked like it wasn’t even trying to get Eli Manning killed! Manning actually played pretty well! Odell Beckham Jr. looked like Odel...
Luka Modrić Wins FIFA's Dumb Little "The Best" Award
Individual awards in soccer are inherently silly and effectively meaningless. FIFA’s premier individual award has been rendered even sillier and less meaningful recently after soccer mag France Football regained ownership of the actually prestigious Ballon d’Or, causing FIFA to invent their own “The...
Report: Comerica Park Employee In Police Custody After Spitting On Pizza
A food services employee at Comerica Park, where the Detroit Tigers attempt to play professional baseball, is reportedly in police custody after another employee posted a video on Instagram of him spitting on the beginnings of a pizza while working at a concession stand....
Nebraska Found Rock Bottom Against Michigan, Then Kept Digging
In Nebraska head coach Scott Frost’s third game leading his alma mater, the Huskers didn’t just get “whipped,” as Frost put it after the game. No, what happened to Nebraska was several levels of sadistic torture below that, and as of now, despite what Frost or the Huskers athletic director or Larry ...
Can Matt Patricia Break The Belichick Curse?<em></em>
Many of the modern NFL’s legendary coaches have impressive coaching trees. Hefty branches that bore much fruit. Assistants that became successful head coaches and who then mentored younger coaches to do the same. Bill Walsh coached Dennis Green, who coached Brian Billick, who coached Jack Del Rio, w...
Real Subtle, Joe Flacco
Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco sucks real bad, and moreover has been just sort of broadly shitty for several years, just a total glassy-eyed doofus with a giraffe neck and a knack for cartoonishly ill-timed mistakes. He’s also old. Taken together, these are the reasons why the Ravens select...
The NFL's Stupid New Roughing The Passer Rule Cost William Hayes His Season
Dolphins defensive lineman William Hayes hurt himself while sacking Derek Carr yesterday, and today two worst-case scenarios were confirmed. Not only did Hayes tear his ACL on the play, he did so while trying to follow the NFL’s asinine new rule that prevents defenders from landing on the quarterbac...
Flyers Unveil Furry Orange Thing Named “Gritty,” And I Love Him
If you want to make sure a mascot unveiling goes well, just make sure a bunch of kids are there....
Khalil Mack Is Pass-Rushing Perfection
Khalil Mack’s first three games as a member of the Chicago Bears have gone like this: five tackles, two sacks, one forced fumble; five tackles, one sack, one forced fumble; three tackles, one sack, one forced fumble. He’s in the zone right now....
Conservative D.C. Is A Bunch Of Weird-As-Hell Nationals Fans
There’s no reason to know who Ben Hobbs is. He’s one of the anonymous ideology droids that fill Washington D.C.’s less-interesting condominiums, pad out its cocktail parties, and ensure that its steakhouse banquettes never get cold. When Republicans are in power, he will work in government; when the...
Jaguars Junction: Week Three
Blaine Gabbert. Blake Bortles. Bart Orglesby. Benet Brahmstocker-Quivit. This is: The Big Boys, of Football (NFL). ...
The Patriots Are Slllooooowwwww
Nobody is allowed to say that this is finally the season when it all comes apart for the New England Patriots until they have been mathematically eliminated from playoff contention. Nobody is allowed to do it! But what we can do, a few hours after the Pats were handily beaten on national TV by a Lio...
Cosmo The Cougar's Head Goes Flying
Rough couple weeks for mascots. Last Saturday, Chip the Buffalo destroyed his dick and balls with a T-shirt cannon. This weekend, BYU’s Cosmo the Cougar was brutally beheaded on a tumbling pass. Warning: If you have a child who doesn’t realize there are humans inside mascot suits—you’ve raised a ver...