f Page 1120 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Irish Soccer Team Caught Faking The Death Of Their Own Player To Get Out Of A Game

Ballybrack FC—a real team, I swear—were strongly condemned by the Leinster Senior League—again, a real league of lower-tier Irish soccer clubs—after they committed the grave sin of lying about the death of one of their players, possibly in order to get out of a game this weekend....

Bomb Explodes Near Ajax Fans Ahead Of UCL Match In Greece <em></em>

Ajax fans and AEK Athens fans clashed in Greece’s Olympic stadium ahead of the clubs’ Champions League match on Tuesday. According to the Independent, Greek fans “reportedly threw flares and a missile or petrol bomb,” which exploded near the supporters of the Dutch club....

Ass Team Of The Week: Oh Yeah, The San Francisco 49ers Still Play Football

Every person that cares about NFL football was freed from having to pay any attention to the San Francisco 49ers at the moment quarterback Jimmy Garoppolo tore his ACL in Week 3. They briefly rose to notice when rookie quarterback Nick Mullens had a decent game on Thursday Night Football, but for th...

Stephen A. Smith And Will Cain Debate About Debating

The only way First Take can ever feel genuine or unscripted is when its loudmouths end up talking shop on air. Stephen A. Smith, a sputtering whoopee cushion that can be palpated to produce sports-adjacent commentary, got into it with milquetoast chud Will Cain on today’s show....

<i>Sports Illustrated</i> Erects Towering Straw Man In Shitty Drew Brees Cover Story

Sports Illustrated’s latest cover story is about New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees, who is in his 18th season in the NFL and has long been acknowledged as one of the greatest of all time. In the waning years of a great player’s career it makes sense that SI would do a big ol’ feature on th...

UFC Cuts Alarmingly Smiley Action Figure Sage Northcutt

The dream is over: Sage Northcutt has been released by the UFC. After just over three years with the promotion, Northcutt’s boss Dana White confirmed that the UFC would not be bringing back the fighter. The UFC will now have to find a new golden retriever....

The Most Successful College Hoops Coach In North America Just Wants Duke To Stop Ducking Him

Dave Smart is not just any college basketball coach. Smart is a defensive guru, a legend in the sport, to whom Division I’s top coaches regularly make pilgrimages to learn at his feet. The only reason you haven’t heard of him is that those pilgrimages are to the outskirts of Ottawa, where Smart runs...

Some doo-doo has appeared at UNC’s Old Well, specifically in the water fountain from which students traditionally take a drink for good luck. CBS 17 has an uncensored photo, as well as this harrowing sentence: “It’s unclear if it was human or animal poop.” [CBS 17]...

RIP, Sean Taylor. Now Buy This Crappy Doll From Dan Snyder! [Update]

Sean Taylor died 11 years ago today after being shot in his Florida home. For those looking to honor his memory on this awful anniversary: Dan Snyder is selling a crappy Sean Taylor doll....

Armageddon Looms Over The World Chess Championship After Magnus Carlsen's Shocking Decision

LONDON — There’s been drama worthy of a Shakespearean tragedy at the World Chess Championship, as Magnus Carlsen and Fabiano Caruana have fought to a draw in each of their 12 head-to-head games, sending the match to overtime with a day of tiebreaks to decide the winner. Games 9-12 featured a black e...

Baker Mayfield Is Still Taking Shots At Hue Jackson

You would think having the worst head coaching record with a team in the entire history of the NFL would have been enough punishment—or enough of an indictment. And if not, maybe getting unceremoniously fired midseason might have been sufficient. But no, not only does Hue Jackson have to live with t...

SB Nation Boss Announces New, Innovative Way To Not Pay People [Update]

In a recent memo, SB Nation’s “team brands director” John Ness—who has ostensibly spent the past year fixing SB Nation’s outdated and exploitative team site model, but is in reality just one more bullshitter Vox Media’s upper management has put between themselves and an increasingly angry army of bl...

Title-Winning High School Football Coach Freaks Out On Players After Ice Bath

Randy Dreiling, head football coach at St. Thomas Aquinas High School in Overland Park, Kansas, guided the Saints to the first state championship in program history on Saturday. After the 49-28 victory, the Saints, in return, guided their coach into (apparently) his first-ever ice bath in coaching h...

In Shocking Betrayal, Penn Basketball Ditches Cheesesteaks For Fish Burritos

The Penn men’s basketball team is 5-2 so far this year; freshman Michael Wang has been particularly impressive. Their losses are to Kansas State and Oregon State. The only blip this season so far is losing Ryan Betley for the season five minutes into the opening game. (Penn rallied to win at George ...

Blake Bortles's Butt Bumped To Bench

The Jaguars were doing okay against the Bills Sunday, but then the guy who had scored two TDs for them was ejected for fighting, they pissed away a first-and-goal situation, and Buffalo won, 24-21. This extended the team’s losing streak to seven. The usually loquacious Jalen Ramsey couldn’t even say...

Mike McCarthy Shouldn't Be Coaching The Packers Anymore

A couple of times in his career, when his Packers looked to be struggling, Aaron Rodgers has remained cool and told people to chill out with some memorable quote that becomes kind of a motto for the rest of the team’s season. There was “R-E-L-A-X” after a 1-2 start in 2014, which turned into an MVP ...

Report: Jimbo Fisher's Nephew Was The Texas A&M Staffer Who Foolishly Tried To Fight Kevin Faulk [Update]

No. 22 Texas A&M’s 74-72, seven-overtime victory over No. 7 LSU was a spectacle, but the dessert to that meal was the postgame fight between an Aggies staffer and Kevin Faulk, LSU’s director of player development and a former NFL running back. A few more details have emerged since Saturday, most not...

Today Is A Great Day For A Ron, But Maybe Not For Long

This is Ron Hextall. Until this morning, he was the GM of the Philadelphia Flyers. In five years, he completely rebuilt the roster and restocked the farm system, and while that is an accomplishment given what he inherited, five years is a long time for a team to go without winning a single playoff s...

Derek Carr Has Joined His Brother David In Stat Hell

Ravens linebacker Matthew Judon sacked Raiders QB Derek Carr on three consecutive offensive plays during Baltimore’s 34-17 win Sunday. That’s a rare accomplishment. Since 1982, only one other player has sacked the quarterback three straight times in one game: Colts defensive end Brad Scioli, who did...

The Jaguars Are So Bad They've Made Jalen Ramsey Boring

Bills-Jaguars was the Trash Bowl, and not just because both teams are trash. This one had been circled on the calendars ever since Jags corner Jalen Ramsey called Josh Allen “trash” in a magazine interview, and then went deep on exactly why the Bills’ rookie QB was, allegedly, trash....