f Page 1158 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bad Soccer Men Try And Thankfully Fail To Beat The Hell Out Of Referee
A soccer match from earlier this month between Indonesian clubs Persegres Gresik United and Persiwa Wamena exploded into chaos when a few players who took issue with a controversial penalty call sought to communicate their dissatisfaction to the ref by beating his ass:...
The Giants Finally Used Saquon Barkley The Right Way
The Giants beat the Texans for their first win on Sunday, and they may have even saved their season. Aw, hell. This one calls for a few exclamation points. The offense looked like it wasn’t even trying to get Eli Manning killed! Manning actually played pretty well! Odell Beckham Jr. looked like Odel...
Luka Modrić Wins FIFA's Dumb Little "The Best" Award
Individual awards in soccer are inherently silly and effectively meaningless. FIFA’s premier individual award has been rendered even sillier and less meaningful recently after soccer mag France Football regained ownership of the actually prestigious Ballon d’Or, causing FIFA to invent their own “The...
Report: Comerica Park Employee In Police Custody After Spitting On Pizza
A food services employee at Comerica Park, where the Detroit Tigers attempt to play professional baseball, is reportedly in police custody after another employee posted a video on Instagram of him spitting on the beginnings of a pizza while working at a concession stand....
Nebraska Found Rock Bottom Against Michigan, Then Kept Digging
In Nebraska head coach Scott Frost’s third game leading his alma mater, the Huskers didn’t just get “whipped,” as Frost put it after the game. No, what happened to Nebraska was several levels of sadistic torture below that, and as of now, despite what Frost or the Huskers athletic director or Larry ...
Can Matt Patricia Break The Belichick Curse?<em></em>
Many of the modern NFL’s legendary coaches have impressive coaching trees. Hefty branches that bore much fruit. Assistants that became successful head coaches and who then mentored younger coaches to do the same. Bill Walsh coached Dennis Green, who coached Brian Billick, who coached Jack Del Rio, w...
Real Subtle, Joe Flacco
Baltimore Ravens quarterback Joe Flacco sucks real bad, and moreover has been just sort of broadly shitty for several years, just a total glassy-eyed doofus with a giraffe neck and a knack for cartoonishly ill-timed mistakes. He’s also old. Taken together, these are the reasons why the Ravens select...
The NFL's Stupid New Roughing The Passer Rule Cost William Hayes His Season
Dolphins defensive lineman William Hayes hurt himself while sacking Derek Carr yesterday, and today two worst-case scenarios were confirmed. Not only did Hayes tear his ACL on the play, he did so while trying to follow the NFL’s asinine new rule that prevents defenders from landing on the quarterbac...
Flyers Unveil Furry Orange Thing Named “Gritty,” And I Love Him
If you want to make sure a mascot unveiling goes well, just make sure a bunch of kids are there....
Khalil Mack Is Pass-Rushing Perfection
Khalil Mack’s first three games as a member of the Chicago Bears have gone like this: five tackles, two sacks, one forced fumble; five tackles, one sack, one forced fumble; three tackles, one sack, one forced fumble. He’s in the zone right now....
Conservative D.C. Is A Bunch Of Weird-As-Hell Nationals Fans
There’s no reason to know who Ben Hobbs is. He’s one of the anonymous ideology droids that fill Washington D.C.’s less-interesting condominiums, pad out its cocktail parties, and ensure that its steakhouse banquettes never get cold. When Republicans are in power, he will work in government; when the...
Jaguars Junction: Week Three
Blaine Gabbert. Blake Bortles. Bart Orglesby. Benet Brahmstocker-Quivit. This is: The Big Boys, of Football (NFL). ...
The Patriots Are Slllooooowwwww
Nobody is allowed to say that this is finally the season when it all comes apart for the New England Patriots until they have been mathematically eliminated from playoff contention. Nobody is allowed to do it! But what we can do, a few hours after the Pats were handily beaten on national TV by a Lio...
Cosmo The Cougar's Head Goes Flying
Rough couple weeks for mascots. Last Saturday, Chip the Buffalo destroyed his dick and balls with a T-shirt cannon. This weekend, BYU’s Cosmo the Cougar was brutally beheaded on a tumbling pass. Warning: If you have a child who doesn’t realize there are humans inside mascot suits—you’ve raised a ver...
Listen To Earl Thomas
An NFL team wants to use a player up. Wants to squeeze every last bit of effectiveness and of health out of him, while he’s still under contract, and then discard him. It’s the nature of a salary-capped league where most players’ careers are over before they turn 30, a brutally cold calculation that...
Yep, Patrick Mahomes Is Still Ridiculous<em></em>
Chiefs QB Patrick Mahomes continued his insanely impressive hot streak to begin the season, as he led the Chiefs to a 3-0 record and a 38-27 defeat of the 49ers on Sunday thanks to 314 yards passing and 3 TDs with no picks. Almost all of the Mahomes fireworks came in a first half in which the Chiefs...
The Colts Don't Trust Andrew Luck To Throw A Hail Mary
For the majority of this past offseason, the narrative surrounding Andrew Luck and his long-injured shoulder was that the Colts quarterback was close to returning to his superstar form—even though the benchmark for the full recovery began when he threw a football in late July. However, Frank Reich s...
Jimmy Garoppolo Leaves Game With Reported "Serious Knee Injury"<em></em>
While trying to lead a 49ers comeback against the Chiefs, San Francisco QB Jimmy Garoppolo chose to absorb a big hit from Steven Nelson at the end of a scramble, rather than just run out of bounds. It was a poor choice, and whether it was anything about the hit itself or simply the awkward plant by ...
Clay Matthews Was Flagged For Another Weak Roughing The Passer Call
Stop me if you’ve heard this before: Clay Matthews was flagged for a bullshit roughing the passer call....
The Vikings Are Making Josh Allen Look Like Superman
Rookie QB Josh Allen and the Bills are just inexplicably and completely picking apart the Minnesota Vikings in their game so far this afternoon, jumping out to a 24-0 lead after just one quarter and change. ...