f Page 1161 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Uruguay Keeper's Huge Boner Hands France Commanding 2-0 Lead
It’s been the tale of two keepers so far in this Uruguay-France World Cup quarterfinal. France are currently up 2-0, thanks in large part to this terrible bit of goalkeeping on the otherwise excellent Fernando Muslera’s part:...
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Hunter S. Thompson Told Jim Irsay To Draft Ryan Leaf Over Peyton Manning
Hunter S. Thompson predicted, in the most general sense, the coming of Donald Trump, or at least the flourishing of the reactionary, retaliatory, mutually-assured-destructive base that put him and his ilk into power. (He also noted, as early as anyone, that the American experiment had peaked and per...
For The Last Time: NFL Ratings Are Not Down. They're Up, Compared To Everything Else
I am once again forced to use this space to explain something that is evident to anyone who has been paying attention to the nature of the television industry over the past few years....
Excellent Baseball Man Decorates Hat With Live Bird
Yesterday Jesus Cruz of the Peoria Chiefs was strolling to the dugout after a successful start when he was met—attacked?—by a small bird. Unflustered, Cruz made the most of the moment, by capturing the little fellow and turning him into a brief but bold fashion statement:...
Report: Escalating Beef Leads To Former NFL Wideout Jabar Gaffney Being Charged With Vandalizing Former Teammate Lito Sheppard's BMW
In what appears to be an appalling case of Gator-on-Gator crime, a warrant has reportedly been issued in Jacksonville, Florida, for the arrest of Jabar Gaffney on felony criminal mischief charges after he allegedly vandalized the BMW of former teammate Lito Sheppard last month. Per the News 4 JAX I-...
Ethiopian Distance Runner Pulls Fellow Countryman By His Shorts After Believing He Was Tripped
The end of today’s men’s 5,000-meter race at the IAAF Diamond League meet in Lausanne, Switzerland devolved into infighting between two Ethiopians when one runner felt he was tripped and yanked his fellow citizen’s shorts in retaliation....
This Tour De France Is Designed To Stop Chris Froome<em></em>
The time has come once again for a few hundred skinny fellows to hop on their bikes and ride unconscionable distances, every day, for three weeks. They’ll yell at each other in various European languages, celebrate famous victories, weep over crushing defeats, crash out in horrifying ways, and gener...
Now These World Cup Teams Are Frauds, In My Opinion
It’s a World Cup off day, and it sucks! Let’s get through it together with some frauds. And remember, FraudWatch is never wrong; sometimes it’s merely premature....
Drunk Vegas Asshole No Match For UFC Hall-Of-Famer Matt Serra
UFC lifer Matt Serra is in Las Vegas to check out this weekend’s fights and also for his induction into the Pioneer wing of the UFC Hall of Fame. What better way to kick things off than subduing a raging drunk with comical ease? According to a video Serra posted last night, the drunk guy was threate...
What The Fuck Is Kirk Cousins Grilling?
Kirk Cousins spent his Independence Day somewhere scenic in his home state of Michigan, where he spent his time, uh, grilling some kidneys, apparently?...
Neymar's Theatrical Diving Is Already Corrupting The Youth
Following his team’s elimination from the World Cup at the hands of Brazil, Mexico manager Juan Carlos Osorio was worried about how Neymar’s histrionics might corrupt the next generation. Those fears were well-founded, it turns out, as this clip from a Swiss club’s youth soccer training session prov...
Times Of Day For Fireworks, Ranked
Some folks outside my apartment were shooting off fireworks around noon today. Why would you waste them like that? I’m not sure, but this is when you should set off fireworks....
The OKC Thunder—Yeah, The <i>Thunder</i>—Now Have The Most Expensive Roster In NBA History
In an NBA offseason already filled with earth-shaking moves from the likes of LeBron James and DeMarcus Cousins, it was 34-year-old journeyman point guard Raymond Felton who truly pushed his team into uncharted territory when he resigned with the Thunder for one year and $2.4 million. On the heels o...
Let's Unplug The NBA Offseason And Plug It Back In
There is no fan community in American sports that thinks more about how it does what it does than NBA fans. This isn’t necessarily a compliment, but it’s not really up for debate, either. The NBA is the best and most interesting league that we’ve got, and as such is pretty excellent to get excited o...
For The Love Of God, Please Do Not Ruin Your Fourth Of July By Looking At Jason Pierre-Paul's Exploded Hand
I’m really warning you on this one, guys. Do not scroll down if you are squeamish. Defensive end Jason Pierre-Paul, formerly of the Giants and now of the Buccaneers, shared a picture late last night showing the full, graphic damage of his blown-up right hand after his fireworks accident three years ...
Roger Federer Signs Enormous Sponsorship Deal For Scalp-To-Ankle Region Of His Body
Roger Federer won his first-round match Monday at Wimbledon in straight sets, but as the tennis media would tell it, the most meaningful thing he did was pick out his wardrobe before the match. Try as I’d like to resist the perverse Rovellian fascination here ... I can’t. It’s weird. It feels weird....
The Fight For Peace Has Never Been Easy
This piece is part of a recurring series that aims to be a complete guide to the laws of war. You can read previous entries here....
Gwen Jorgensen Wants To Be The Best In The World. Again.<em></em>
Endurance athletes, triathletes and distance runners, are a humble lot—hardworking, long suffering, and taught to endure not only punishing workouts, but years of incremental improvements with little, if any, monetary reward or recognition. Humility, patience, and persistence are the hallmarks of th...