f Page 1240 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Jason Kelce Says An Eagles Fan Poured Their Grandfather's Ashes Into A Teammate's Hands
Eagles center Jason Kelce had a wild and memorable time at the team’s Super Bowl parade in February, but it seems that one of the more outlandish things that happened to him escaped the view of the cameras....
Liverpool Fans Get Rowdy, Hop On Police Vans
After the madness of the post-apocalyptic scenes from Liverpool’s Champions League quarterfinal home leg against Manchester City, it’s hard to act surprised when a European night at Anfield results in some dangerously intense fan behavior. Liverpool’s festivities ahead of their semifinal against Rom...
A Video Of Kevin Garnett Yelling A Bunch Got Thon Maker Inspired To Start Kicking Ass In The Playoffs <em></em>
Stringy Bucks big man Thon Maker has come up huge for the Bucks in their surprisingly competitive and entertaining first-round series against the Celtics. Maker averaged just 4.8 points, 3.0 boards, and 0.7 blocks a game in the regular season, and he basically didn’t play through the series’ first t...
Turn Your Mango Into A Delicious Hedgehog, And Conquer It At Last
So much of your life is impossible to give order to. A mango is not one of those things. It may seem like one, big gooey lump that it is, but it is not. It can be given perfect geometric clarity with just a few tactical blade strokes. I can’t recommend solving many of your other problems this way, b...
Ex-NFL Cheerleaders Offer To Settle Discrimination Suit Against The NFL If Roger Goodell Agrees To Meeting
Last month, former Saints cheerleader Bailey Davis filed a discrimination complaint against the NFL after she was fired for posting an Instagram photo of herself in a bathing suit. The photo violated a Saints rule forbidding cheerleaders from “appearing nude, seminude or in lingerie,” which is an eq...
Do You Look At The Keyboard When You Type?<em></em>
Before we get into this week’s Funbag, I have a highly irritating announcement, which is that I’m gonna take a sabbatical in May. Actually, I was quietly suspended by corporate for pouring a bucket of live carpenter bees down Burneko’s chimney, but that’s neither here nor there. The point is that I’...
Veteran Fighter Leslie Smith Says UFC Cut Her Because Of Her Union Organizing Efforts
Pro MMA veteran Leslie Smith was supposed to fight on last weekend’s UFC Fight Night card, but her bout with Aspen Ladd was scrapped under strange circumstances. Ladd weighed in 1.8 pounds over the limit, claiming that “certain female circumstances” kept her from being able to cut weight. Smith init...
College Athletes Are Doomed For As Long As These Clowns Keep Running The Show
A new report states that just one out of every four athletic directors are in favor of giving athletes the ability to make money off their name based off their athletic abilities....
The Rockets Fine-Tuned Their Equation And Became Invincible
The Houston Rockets led by one point, 50-49, at the end of the first half last night in Minnesota. So it’s not like they were in a crisis situation. But if a lead can be said to be an ugly and bad one, this qualified. ...
Reports: Mike Francesa Is Thirsty For WFAN Return, Diet Coke<em></em>
That was quick....
Here We Go Again
With their 4-2 series win over Columbus, the Capitals are going to play in their seventh second-round playoff series in the last 11 years. That’s incredible! Don’t ask how they did in those second-round series....
The Thunder Hit Rock Bottom, Where They Found A Gloating Mitt Romney
If you want a tangible explanation for why the Oklahoma City Thunder are down 3-1 in their playoff series against the Jazz and seem destined for a first-round exit, take your pick: Rudy Gobert has effectively canceled out Russell Westbrook’s ability to drive to the hoop; Russell Westbrook has no jum...
Toronto Wins
Ten people were killed and 15 others hospitalized on Monday when a man drove a rented van onto the sidewalk and plowed through pedestrians for more than half a mile on one of Toronto’s busiest streets. It feels almost rote by this point to transition from tragedy to sporting event, but it makes sens...
Golf Club Apologizes After Calling Police On Group Of Black Women Members
A Pennsylvania golf club called police on five members this weekend after the club’s co-owner felt that the group was playing too slowly and claimed that they did not leave the course when asked. The members—all five of whom are black women—say that they were discriminated against....
Annoyingly Coy Report: Eagles Owner Jeffrey Lurie Called Donald Trump's Presidency "Disastrous"
Buried near the end of this New York Times article about the Super Bowl champion Philadelphia Eagles talking to the White House about planning a visit is a tidbit about team owner Jeffrey Lurie “using a vulgarity” to call Donald Trump’s presidency “disastrous.” That quote seems like it’d be more imp...
Treat Yourself To Bartolo Colon's "Batters Faced" Page On Baseball Reference
If he hadn’t out-pitched Justin Verlander and completely baffled the defending world champions for seven innings on Sunday Night Baseball last week, there is a decent chance that Bartolo Colon might not have started another game for the Texas Rangers. The pitcher whose spot Colon filled last Sunday ...
Report: Sports Anchor Booted From Warriors-Spurs Series After He Stole Steph Curry's Bodyguard's Jacket
Bay Area ABC7 sports anchor Mike Shumann was sent home from San Antonio and kept off the air for Sunday’s Warriors-Spurs game after he was caught stealing the jacket of the Golden State Warriors’ director of team security, according to The Athletic....
ESPN Report: This Is How Percentages Work
At long last, ESPN NFL insider Adam Schefter has determined that Tom Brady, who everyone on Earth assumed was going to be playing football for the Patriots next season, is going to be playing football for the Patriots next season....
My Enemies In Nature, Ranked
It’s more or less springlike now, pending yet another cruel and absurd outbreak of The Eternal Winter of 2017-18. Here in my absurd forest dwelling, spring means that we are emerging, pallid and blinking, to plant new trees and azaleas, to try with ludicrous and doomed vanity to restore some mowable...