f Page 1431 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Let's Fry Some Eggplant, Because It's Possible There Is Nothing Better
With all due respect to falafel, a ripe summer tomato, or one single slice of melted yellow American cheese, the very best non-animal-flesh sandwich filling in existence is fried eggplant. Don’t even think about saying otherwise down in the comments, heretofore an empty place practically crying out ...
You Dumb Idiot
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Flyers Goalie Michal Neuvirth Taken Off Ice On Stretcher After Collapsing<em></em>
Emergency personnel took Michal Neuvirth off the ice on a stretcher after the Flyers goalie collapsed early in Philadelphia’s game against the Devils tonight....
Tracy McGrady, Rebecca Lobo Selected To Basketball Hall Of Fame
The 2017 class of the Naismith Memorial Basketball Hall of Fame will include two-time scoring champion Tracy McGrady and UConn star Rebecca Lobo. ...
Oh, Look, More Disgusting Shit From The Loathsome Art Briles Apology Tour
Three weeks after former Baylor football coach Art Briles wrote the public a mewling letter promising that he’s really a stand-up guy, he’s continuing on his quest to repair his image and lock down a new coaching job. Briles was a guest speaker at yesterday’s Birmingham Football Coaching Clinic, say...
Broken Tiger Woods To Miss Masters
Tiger Woods announced in December he was returning to golf, but his broken, fucked-up body won’t allow it—as Woods announced on his website today that he’ll miss the Masters for the third time in four years....
Canadian Skaters Thrive As Others Struggle At Figure Skating World Championships
Life in Canada is good. Not only do our neighbors to the north have access to runaway plows and ample supplies of maple syrup, but at this year’s world figure skating championships, their two female skaters claimed spots on the medal podium, placing second and third behind predicted winner Evgenia M...
My Offer For The Stonyfield Yogurt Company
TO: The Board of Directors of the Stonyfield Yogurt Company. ...
Adrian Peterson Is In Exile
Two weeks ago, when the Minnesota Vikings signed free agent back Latavius Murray, general manager and honorary third Bayless brother Rick Spielman said publicly that the signing meant that Adrian Peterson will not be back with the team next season. Since then, Peterson has languished in free agency,...
Jury Foreman Regrets Convicting Former Penn State President Graham Spanier
Richard Black, a 78-year-old truck driver who served as the jury foreman during former Penn State president Graham Spanier’s child endangerment trial, says that he regrets convicting Spanier and wishes he had held out for a hung jury....
The World's Best Figure Skater Is About To Win Gold Skating To Audio From Sept. 11
When 2016 world champion Evgenia Medvedeva skates close to the boards to begin her footwork sequence across the ice in Helsinki, the music will cut away and you’ll hear something you might remember if you were alive and sentient on Sept. 11, 2001: The voice of George W. Bush announcing that two plan...
That's Probably It For Jimmy Rollins
It’s likely most baseball fans didn’t even realize that Jimmy Rollins was with the San Francisco Giants at spring training this year. The 38-year-old former Phillies star signed a minor league deal with the team in December, and was a long shot to make the opening day roster. After going 5-for-42 in...
FIFA Continues Its Plot To Ruin The World Cup
Here are some descriptors that come to mind when thinking about the current format of the World Cup, the greatest sporting event on the planet: perfect, simple, just-the-right-size, well-designed, riveting. Here are some words that will soon come to be associated with the World Cup after greedy-ass ...
Idiot On The Field In San Francisco Makes It Damn Near A Minute Before Getting Ass Sacked
It’s still spring training for MLB security teams, as an Idiot On The Field in San Francisco tonight was able to scamper around the field for close to 60 seconds—tagging second base along the way—before being accosted by the cops....
Jittery Roger Federer Gets An Ugly Win
Today Roger Federer let slip, like an ill-timed fart, perhaps the worst four-point sequence ever seen on his serve....
Arkansas Fans No Longer Allowed To Bring Guns Into Stadiums
Despite the best efforts of the NRA, gun owners in Arkansas will not be allowed to bring their concealed handguns to Razorbacks football games this year. The Arkansas House of Representatives passed SB 724 this afternoon with a 71-20 vote. The vote came a week after Governor Asa Hutchinson signed HB...
North Dakota Cuts Women's Hockey And Leaves Recruit Out In The Cold
Lauren Hennessey, a goaltender from Massachusetts who verbally committed to the University of North Dakota women’s hockey team, took an early-morning trip to Grand Forks with her parents Wednesday to visit the campus and meet the staff and players. While Hennessey was still on campus, the university...
Penn State Trustee: "Running Out Of Sympathy For 35 Yr Old, So-Called Victims"
Ex-Penn State president Graham Spanier was found guilty of a misdemeanor charge of child endangerment last week, for his failure to act upon information from graduate assistant Mike McQueary that he’d witnessed Jerry Sandusky engaging in sexual activity with a boy in a campus shower. The conviction...
James Baldwin Was An Honest Man And A Good Writer
This article was originally featured in the August 1988 issue of GQ and appears here with the author’s permission....