f Page 1432 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Most Powerful Man In Chess Is Maybe A Lunatic
The sports world is replete with notably wacky commissioners and leaders, and for all the wild shit that the Sepp Blatters and Oleg Tinkovs of the world get up to, the World Chess Federation’s president probably has them all beat. Kirsan Ilyumzhinov has been the top dog at FIDE since 1995, and for m...

Former Player Says Scot McCloughan Was Hated By Skins' President
Take all this with a grain of salt, as it’s secondhand information relayed by a former NFL player who didn’t play for Washington, but here’s a potential explanation of what really went down between the Skins and recently fired GM Scot McCloughan....

MLB Struck The Right Balance With Jeurys Familia's Punishment
Yesterday afternoon MLB handed down a 15-game suspension for Mets closer Jeurys Familia, following a 2016 arrest in New Jersey after his wife, Bianca Rivas, called 911 and said her husband was “drunk” and “acting crazy.” ...

What Does Mike Pence Think Happens At Restaurants?<em></em><em></em>
Here is a deeply weird thing:...

Jim Harbaugh And Chip Kelly Go To Bat For Colin Kaepernick
NFL free agency began three weeks ago, and Colin Kaepernick is still a man without a team, even in a league in which Mike Glennon just got $19 million guaranteed to actually start for someone. Is Kaepernick being blackballed because of his national anthem protest? It he still unsigned because of his...

Reporter Embarrasses Himself And America At Bastian Schweinsteiger Press Conference
As an American soccer fan, this video of an oblivious reporter quite confidently asking Bastian Schweinsteiger, new to MLS’s Chicago Fire, whether Chicago can be expected to win the goddamn World Cup is almost too painful to sit through....

"Megatron's Butthole" Is Stopped Up
The Atlanta Falcons will ostensibly begin play this fall in their new stadium (with its eight-petal retractable roof, which Drew referred to as “Megatron’s Butthole” and now I cannot think of it any other way). Except: the stadium was supposed to be open by now. But it wasn’t ready, so they pushed i...

Report: The NFLPA Already Has Problems With Tom Coughlin
Tom Coughlin, the Jaguars’ new executive vice president of football operations, has been brought into Jacksonville to try and turn the Jaguars into a competent football team. That means he’s bringing back all the principles of the Red-Faced Old Man management he developed in New York, and according ...

Golden Knights Owner Wishes Las Vegas Didn't Spend $750 Million On The Raiders
It is very NHL to be pioneers in opening up Las Vegas to pro sports, and then to become second-class citizens in their own market before a puck is dropped. But that’s what happened this week when the NFL approved the Raiders’ relocation to Vegas, where they figure to be the hottest ticket in town. V...

Texas State Senators Ripped Into A Stammering Baylor Interim President<em></em>
As Baylor continues to insist that everything is just fine after admitting to making life miserable for women who reported they were raped, while simultaneously claiming it does “not have a legal duty to protect their students from harm caused by other students,” Texas lawmakers are considering a ...

Bad Hockey Man Gets Jail Time For Drunkenly Breaking Opponent's Face With His Stick
On May 7, 2016, Ryan Cox was playing in a 3-on-3 tournament at the Fort Erie Leisureplex when he skated in on goal and got his face backed in by a two-handed strike from goalie Todd Ball’s stick. Cox was rushed to the hospital, where he was forced to undergo extensive facial reconstruction surgery. ...

Oakland Taxpayers Will Still Be On The Hook For $163 Million After The Raiders And Warriors Leave<em></em><em></em><em></em>
When the city of Oakland brought the Raiders back from Los Angeles in 1995, then-mayor Elihu Harris enticed Al Davis with $200 million in improvements to the Oakland Coliseum. The city paid for the construction with taxpayer-backed bonds, and their initial plan was to pay off the bond by selling per...

Messi Says He Didn't Direct Insult At The Referee, But "At The Air"
The best player in the world and slight potty mouth Lionel Messi is appealing the four-match ban that was handed down by FIFA yesterday after he yelled at a referee in Argentina’s 1-0 World Cup qualifier win over Chile last week. Messi says he didn’t direct his insult, “la concha de tu madre,” a com...

Brandon Marshall Was Also Delighted By Jay Cutler's Bare Ass
We had fun looking at Jay Cutler’s bare vacation ass yesterday, but I’m not sure if anyone had a more joyful reaction to it than Cutler’s former teammate, Brandon Marshall....

Baylor Files Motion To Dismiss Lawsuit Claiming 52 Rapes By Football Players In Four Years
Lawyers for Baylor University filed yesterday a motion to dismiss the Title IX lawsuit that said no less than 31 football players committed 52 rapes between 2011 and 2014, under then-head coach Art Briles. The motion, filed in U.S. District Court in Texas, claims that “as a general rule, universiti...

The Billion-Dollar NFL Concussion Settlement Is A New Kind Of Disaster
The six-year long, billion-dollar NFL concussion class-action lawsuit is finally drawing near a close, but the infighting and confusion that has dogged the suit since its beginning continues as fierce as ever. And it’s seriously threatening the likelihood that players will collect anywhere near the ...

Teen Girls Are Now Having Hobbyhorse Competitions And That's Fine
If you’re still coming to terms with the fact that people run around with brooms between their legs and call it quidditch, you might want to sit down for this next bit of news: Teens in Finland are participating in equestrian events on hobbyhorses, and they are taking these events very seriously....

The NBA's Eastern Conference Is Closing In On A Record For Futility
The NBA’s Eastern Conference is in very real danger of finishing the season with only four teams having won at least half their games. This would be embarrassing, and stupid, and also very good and cool....

Vital Cultural Activity Of Our Era Is Not Music But Rather Something I Still Participate In, Says Old Guy
“Food is the new music” is a good phrase to memorize for when you get too old to really go to a lot of concerts any more, because that shit happens very late at night....

These Roger Federer Volleys Almost Hurt To Watch
Roberto Batista Agut did about as well as you can do against the greatest these days, pushing him to two tiebreaks in the fourth round of the Miami Open, but, just, c’mon—these fucking nonchalant volleys....