f Page 1629 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

How Joe Pavelski Became A Tip Machine
It was, is, and will be for at least the next 36 hours the most important goal in Sharks history. Joe Pavelski’s redirection of a Brent Burns shot broke a third-period tie and stood up the rest of the way, the winner in a 6-3 victory that brings San Jose to within one game of the Stanley Cup Finals,...

University Of Oregon Apologizes For Herd Of Bros Who Clogged A Lake With An "Incredible Amount Of Trash"
Summer’s just about here, my friends, which means it’s time to drain some brews, grill some hot dogs, and leave an “incredible amount of trash” at lakeside campsites across this great nation. Apparently, some University of Oregon bros hit for that particular cycle this last weekend, and trashed the ...

The Raptors Don't Quit
The Raptors’ two most important players right now are a probably-hurt tiny point guard who, until recently, was having a historically-bad playoffs and an offensively inept center who played 22 minutes per game this regular season. That doesn’t sound like a formula for defeating a team led by LeBron ...

Miguel Cabrera Hits Dong, Fan Celebrates By Picking Friend Up By His Salami
Miguel Cabrera is on one right now. He’s hit five dingers in his last 13 at-bats, including a pair off poor Vincent Velasquez tonight, who gave up four longballs in four innings pitched. Cabrera went opposite field in the first inning, then inspired a rather friendly celebration with his second home...

James Conner Says He Is Cancer Free
In December, Pitt running back James Conner announced that he had been diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma. This afternoon, just over six months later, he announced that he was cancer free. ...

Draymond Green Will Not Be Suspended For Game 4
The Golden State Warriors are down 2-1 to the Oklahoma City Thunder and it looked for a while like they would have to try to claw their way back to even without their second-most important player after Draymond Green kneed Steven Adams in his dick and balls again. According to Woj, nah, he’ll play i...

The NFL's New Scientists Sound Just As Corrupt As The Old Ones
This time was supposed to be different, or so the NFL said. ...

FIFA Exec Fired For Giving Himself Millions Of Dollars In Secret Bonuses
Yesterday, Markus Kattner was the interim secretary general of FIFA, a post he stepped into when his predecessor, Jérôme Valcke, was suspended for all sorts of shady money deals. Yesterday, the most prominent news clippings his name popped up were in relation to his awareness of the secret payment b...

Why Dahntay Jones's Unpaid Suspension Is Only Worth $80
The NBA suspended Dahntay Jones one game “without pay” for whacking Bismack Biyombo in the groin late in Game 3, and while the Cavs might miss the 1.9 minutes per game they’ve gotten from Jones (unlikely), Jones won’t actually miss his game check all that much....

LSU Mascot Mike The Tiger Diagnosed With Inoperable Form Of Cancer
LSU’s live tiger mascot, Mike the Tiger, has a rare and inoperable form of cancer, and will soon undergo a treatment of radiation therapy that has never before been used on a tiger, reports The Advocate. A tumor was discovered next to Mike’s eye by a student trainer, and a CT scan confirmed it was s...

How I Accidentally Made The First Official Cuba-To-Florida Kayak Crossing
The shortest distance from Cuba to the United States is about 90 miles across the Florida Strait. By the standards of human-powered sea travel, it’s extremely doable, and it has been done for decades by refugees aboard the most makeshift of watercraft, driven by desperation. In the peak years, tens ...

Betrayed Lover Weaponizes <i>Game of Thrones</i> Spoilers
A now-deleted Reddit tale of sweet revenge after infidelity:...

Draymond Green And Russell Westbrook Are Beefin' Now
It’s fallout day from the nutkicking heard ‘round the world, Draymond Green’s second such assault on Steven Adams’s dick and balls in as many games. And as everyone patiently awaits word on potential discipline—a one-game suspension seems certain, unless the NBA cares more about protecting its stars...

Russ And KD Are Running Things Now
Yes, for sure, the Oklahoma City Thunder made tactical adjustments that helped them in Game 3. They went small early, with Andre Roberson at power forward, rather than going huge, as they had in the first two games; they used Roberson as a screener instead of parking him in the corner where the Warr...

Am I Committing Cable Theft?
Welcome back to Ask a Lawyer, wherein I, a lawyer, respond to your questions. Got a vexing legal issue? Send it over, or drop it in the comments below....

A Kid-Related Résumé Gap Is Nothing To Hide
Are you ready for some good news about the way the workforce treats parents? Of course you are. A new study shows that, contrary to conventional wisdom, parents returning to the workforce after a childcare hiatus are more likely to be hired if they explain the gap in their career experience....

The Most Damning Excerpts From The Congressional Report On The NFL's Improper Meddling With Concussion Research
Democratic members of the House Committee on Energy and Commerce just released the full 91-page report detailing the findings of their investigation into the NFL’s attempts to improperly influence the direction of the National Institute of Health’s concussion research. We’ve embedded the whole repor...

ESPN: Congressional Investigators Find NFL Tried To Use Federal Agency As Propaganda Arm
Six months ago, Outside the Lines reported that the NFL pulled $16 million of funding from a National Institutes of Health study that was meant to further explore football’s relationship to CTE because it didn’t like the neurologist who’d been selected to lead the study. The NFL has continually deni...

Tom Brady Will Appeal Ballghazi Suspension, Again
In the year 2184, when Tom Brady’s head is thawed from cryostasis to testify against Robo-Goodell in Moon Court, your descendants may wonder how the longest-running legal battle in the history of sports ever got started. (Their neural visit to the electro-sapio-repository will tell them it was about...

Draymond Green Might Be Screwed
You could look at the Oklahoma City Thunder’s destruction of the Golden State Warriors in Game 3 of the Western Conference finals as a turning point in the series—KD and Russ are hot! The role players are contributing! Serge Ibaka may not suck anymore!—but what may very well end up deciding who adva...