f Page 1791 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Barcelona Face A Challenge They Can’t Buy Their Way Out Of
Barcelona’s dominant victory over Atlético Madrid this weekend felt like a statement. It’d be crazy to claim that the reigning Spanish and European champions, armed with nearly the exact same squad that mowed down all comers in last season’s historically great campaign, were underestimated or overlo...
How To Eat At A Fancy Restaurant
At some point in your life, you’ll have to eat at a dining establishment where there are more forks on your table then there are ties in your closet. It’s a daunting prospect, but just roll with it. You’ll be fine. We made this video to be your guide. ...
Stephen A. Smith, Useful Idiot, Connects Weed To The Collapse Of Civilization
Stephen A. Smith, the painfully articulate, misogynistic, Floyd-fluffing TMT roadie, is still employed by ESPN, which means he showed up to work today to say fun, dumb shit very loudly to and with Skip Bayless on First Take. Today’s topic: drugs!...
<i>First Blood </i>Is A Darker, Sadder, And Better Rambo Flick Than You Remember
The climax of 1982’s First Blood isn’t a gun battle or a knife fight. It’s Sylvester Stallone, as John Rambo, breaking down into big, blubbery tears, trying to make sense of the world around him. He’s learned that he’s the last surviving member of his elite fighting force, that America has no furthe...
Why Trent Dilfer Was The Worst Color Man In History
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here....
Photos: Jason Pierre-Paul's Right Hand
The New York Daily News published some pretty clear photos of Jason Pierre-Paul’s right hand, which he badly damaged in a fireworks accident in July. To put it nicely, his hand resembles the head of Yoda’s cane. The Giants defensive end is missing a lot of his thumb and index finger, and his middle ...
Tyrod Taylor's Coin-Eating Skills Are Unimpressive
Bills quarterback Tyrod Taylor had a chat with Lindsay Czarniak on ESPN Wednesday night, and as he rattled off fun facts about himself, we all learned that he accidentally ate a quarter when he was a kid. Big deal, I say....
Kyle Seager Trolled Jered Weaver Into Getting Ejected
You probably won’t see a beanball more obviously deliberate than the one Jered Weaver laid on Kyle Seager in last night’s 3-1 Mariners win. Or one more nonchalant....
Seahawks Coaches Don't Mind Marshawn Lynch's Mom Calling For Darrell Bevell's Job
The Seahawks’ predilection for theatrics generally works well for them—they’re winning, after all, and nothing can be too deleterious when you win. Which is why, if you’re a fan of drama, this team is going to be fun when it starts losing. The lighthearted controversies will turn histrionic, and the...
We Might Actually Get A Barry Zito Versus Tim Hudson Matchup
After rosters expanded on September 1st and the Oakland A’s didn’t bring up Barry Zito—who has been toiling away in Triple-A Nashville all year—it was reported that he wasn’t going to come up this season. But after starting pitcher Jesse Chavez fractured a rib the team reversed course, once again pr...
<i>South Park</i> Accurately Sums Up Ballghazi In A Cartman Dream Sequence
As you knew it would, South Park took on Ballghazi in tonight’s 19th season premiere. Cartman sums up the eight months spent investigating, millions of dollars, and god knows how many hours talking about whether Tom Brady ordered a small amount of air be removed from footballs in an appropriately so...
"You Are The Real MVP!!": More Letters Sent To The Ballghazi Judge
The federal judge who oversaw the Ballghazi case, vacating Tom Brady’s four-game suspension while legally shredding whatever integrity was left of the NFL’s arbitration apparatus, entered more letters from the public into the case’s docket yesterday. This batch is smaller, not quite a dozen letters,...
Texans Coach Refuses To Reveal Which Bad Quarterback He Will Start
Houston Texans head coach Bill O’Brien has to decide whether he will start Brian Hoyer or Ryan Mallett at quarterback this Sunday. Both played okay in Week 1, but neither are good enough to make the decision one that really matters. Choosing between Mallett and Hoyer is like deciding whether to star...
Tom Brady Says It "Would Be Great" If Donald Trump Becomes President
Tom Brady has had a Donald Trump hat in his locker for about a week now, sitting there on that shelf like a wearable fart. Someone in today’s media scrum asked Brady about the hat ahead of tonight’s GOP debate, leading the Patriots quarterback to toss around the idea of President Donald Trump....
Ta-Nehisi Coates Needs An Editor, Says Editor Who Edited Like One Blog Post In 18 Months
Earlier this week, Atlantic writer Ta-Nehisi Coates published an enormous study of mass incarceration and its impact on African-American families in America today. The article is comprehensive, exhaustive, compellingly written, and reaches back into centuries of American oppression to come to the co...
Alessandro Florenzi Shoots From Goddamn Mars, Draws Roma Level With Barcelona
Barcelona keeper Marc-André ter Stegen has already used his aggressive positioning to break up Roma attacks, but this is always a threat when your keeper stands so far off his line. But holy smokes, this is some hit....
Classic Man: "Don't Mess With A Bear"
Frequently in this space, we will consult a different entry in the 1987 book The Modern Man’s Guide to Life to see how the advice therein has aged. On Monday, we touched on how to deal with going bald; today, we’re talking bear alarms....