f Page 1804 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
<i>Kickboxer </i>Is Even Sillier Than You Remember, And Even Better, Too
I’m pretty sure the first animated gif I ever saw was Jean-Claude Van Damme dancing in a Thai bar in Kickboxer. The image is the sort of thing that sticks with you: his khakis hiked up to a near-Urkel level, his spaghetti-strap tank top just barely managing to exist, his face contorted into what I g...
Jay Gruden: Stop Calling Me Fat
Washington is such a hilarious disaster, man. We’re not even done with the preseason, but the starting quarterback is shell-shocked and fed up, and the head coach is talking like a man who’s already in the middle of a 3-13 campaign. Here’s what Jay Gruden had to say to the press yesterday (via the W...
Russell Wilson Wants To Clarify What His Scam Water Can Do For Concussions
Russell “Nanobubbles” Wilson said his magical miracle fraud water helped him get over a blow to the head in the NFC Title game, what he really meant was that the stuff is so puissant, it actually stopped him from getting a concussion in the first place. Oh, that’s much more believable....
MLB Wins Barry Bonds Collusion Case
In 2007, Barry Bonds earned $19.3 million, led the league with an OBP of .480, and hit, by his Olympian standards, a meager 28 home runs. The San Francisco Giants did not offer him a contract the next season, which was understandable given the amount of very public shit Bonds and the team has gone t...
Knock It Off With These Stupid-Ass Headphones
These idiotic around-the-neck headphones have been everywhere lately, and I have no idea what and why they are. What in the hell, man? ...
Nobody Likes RGIII And I Kind Of Feel Bad For Him At This Point
Today, Robert Griffin III spoke to the media for the first time since being sacrificed to the Lions behind Washington’s Maginot offensive line. Everyone wanted to know: Was he concussed? Why have the Skins waffled on the status of his brain? Griffin gave the answers of a man who is supremely sick of...
Here's The List Of Ridiculous Fines Virginia Tech Football Players Were Subject To
Yesterday, Virginia Tech defensive coordinator Bud Foster told reporters that he and other coaches had a policy of fining players for things like missing practices or meetings. The reason Foster was ever asked about fines in the first place was that a few beat reporters had noticed a screen in the t...
Brian Cushing Barfed So Much On <i>Hard Knocks</i>
This week’s episode of Hard Knocks captured linebacker Brian Cushing barfing during practice. He barfed four times in one sitting....
The ACC Sucks, But You Should Watch It Anyway
Welcome to our college football conference previews, in which we will tell you what you need to know about various conferences, with an emphasis on watchability. First up were the Pac-12, the SEC, and the Big 12. Now, the ACC....
Idaho Football Coach Paul Petrino Makes Three Players' Shoplifting Allegations Go Away
According to the Moscow (Idaho) Police Department, three Idaho football players stole about $400 worth of clothes from the university store on Aug. 16. No charges were filed, however, because head coach Paul Petrino returned all the gear and no one remembers the players who stole the stuff....
A Complete Guide To Buying Her Flowers
You wanted to do something nice for your girlfriend—maybe even a little corny. And, hey, look, there’s a supermarket with a flower section on your way home from work! Buying flowers sounds easy, until towers of flowers are staring back at you (labeled with scientific names almost nobody actually use...
Why Your Team Sucks 2015: Arizona Cardinals
Some people are fans of the Arizona Cardinals. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Arizona Cardinals. This 2015 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group. Read all the previews so far here....
America Has Lost The War Against Guns
Yesterday morning in Roanoke, Va., a man named Vester Lee Flanagan walked up to newscaster Alison Parker and cameraman Adam Ward as they were filming a segment for local TV station WDBJ, and, using a handgun, shot them to death. (He also critically wounded Vicki Gardner, the woman Parker and Ward we...
Cincinnati Also Wants To Steal Money From Its Football Players
You’d think the wave of shit that came crashing down on Virginia Tech defensive coordinator Bud Foster after he told reporters of his plans to discipline his players with monetary fines, followed by the Hokies AD’s immediate nuking of the asinine idea, would have scared other schools away from tryin...
Auburn Athletics Convinced The School To Preserve Its Athlete Major
Every university has one: the athlete major, which for various reasons—usually close ties among instructors, tutors, and the athletics department, and occasionally a reputation for easy or downright nonexistent coursework—is disproportionately packed with athletes. At Auburn, it’s public administrat...
Only An Idiot Would Buy A $600 Sweatshirt
Who was it that first said, “It takes a lot of money to look this cheap?” Well, according to Bieber Clothing Tumblr, a site for teens dedicated to fashion worn by this particular emotional teen, Justin Bieber spent $600 on the following sweatshirt; one that looks like something he picked up at Goodw...
Holy Shit, Usain Bolt
Over the last couple of years, there’s been no reason to think Usain Bolt could be as dominant in Rio as he was in Beijing or London. He’ll turn 30 during those games, for one. For another, he sat out many of the big races since 2013, and lost a lot of time to nagging hamstring troubles last year. T...
Johnny Manziel's Elbow Pain Is Not Going Away
Of all the things to worry about with Johnny Manziel, his health was never a particular concern until now. Manziel has been sitting out practice all week with elbow soreness, something he said he’d battled since high school and which the Browns believe is a function of his throwing motion: it’s a fu...
49ers LB Ahmad Brooks Charged With Sexual Battery, Ray McDonald Indicted For Rape
Santa Clara County prosecutors announced today that they had charged 49ers linebacker Ahmad Brooks with sexual battery, while a grand jury handed down a rape indictment against former 49ers defensive end Ray McDonald....