f Page 1867 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Carlo Ancelotti Is Real Madrid's Newest Scapegoat
It’s maybe a little disconcerting that Real Madrid—a players’ club if there ever was one; one where the 8th-biggest name on the team sheet likely holds more sway in the future direction of the club than any of the ever-changing coaches thrown aboard then unceremoniously shoved off the managerial mer...
Colin Kaepernick Unwisely Compares Self To Houston Floods
Colin Kaepernick’s hashtag of choice is #7tormsComing, which is a horrible sentence to write. The 49ers QB decided to use it again today with the Houston flash floods as a news peg, along with a photo of some local devastation. The message wasn’t only insensitive to the alphabet....
Cyclists' Squirt-Gun Attack On PedalPub Cops Results In Six Arrests
The Minneapolis version of a biker brawl involved some cyclists, three PedalPubs, squirt guns, and water balloons, but the results were, in their way, nearly as disquieting as the Waco incident—the thin veneer of society cracked like a cranium under a billy club. It seems Minnesota nice ends when yo...
What Is The Bleakest Thing?
This is the bleakest thing. Hey, every like counts....
And Now, Our Readers' Worst Food Mishaps
Last week, we asked you to tell us your worst food foibles. We heard a lot of instances of people eating sour cream when they were expecting whipped cream, salt in lieu of sugar, and of course, brie instead of pie. Traumatic plot twist! What follows are far and away the worst stories of food-based m...
Magic Hat #9 Is Well Past Its Prime
Some people like to show off. This is a boring and undisputed part of the human condition, that we have to share the planet with ostentatiously effective people who are into things like sit-ups and graduate school. Oooh, look at me, I can make weird extra muscles pop out of my stomach! Hey, check ou...
Dwight Howard Hung Out With Stranded Rockets Fans
Historic flooding struck the Houston area last night, with many roads becoming impassable and downright dangerous. As the Rockets closed out their Game 4 win around 11 p.m. local time, Toyota Center officials urged fans to remain in the arena for their own safety....
The NBA Finals Won't Be Moved Up
It’s a good thing the Rockets won last night, if only because that it means the painfully long basketball-less stretch we’re about to face will be slightly less painful. The NBA has confirmed to CBS Sports that no matter how quickly these conference finals wrap up, the Finals won’t begin until a wee...
Gronk Visits Charleston, Stuffs Face Into Girl's Chest
Beer golem Rob Gronkowski went to Charleston, S.C. for Memorial Day weekend, and from the looks of it, the summer of Gronk is making up for all that time spent on deflated balls....
The NFL's Useful Idiots Are At It Again
Now that the Chicago Bears have released defensive end Ray McDonald—who was previously investigated for sexual assault and yesterday was arrested on charges of domestic violence for the second time in a year—a chorus of NFL media stooges have begun squawking for someone to do something about all of ...
Ducks-Blackhawks Makes No Sense And It's Exhilarating
Waking up the next morning, it’s still kind of hard to believe the Ducks won that game. After choking away a three-goal lead amassed before the Blackhawks registered their first shot, and after conceding two goals to Jonathan Toews in the game’s final 1:50, Chicago completing the comeback felt like ...
Chinese Goalie Sips From A Refreshing Bottle Of Water, Gets Scored On
OY, HEAD ON A SWIVEL, MATE! KEEP ALERT AT ALL TIMES! Here’s video of Chinese Super League keeper Sui Weijie’s career low:...
Jim "Learn The Fucking Rules" Schwartz To Work With NFL Officiating
Who wants Jim Schwartz? The NFL officiating department, apparently....
FIFA Slaves Banned From Attending Relatives' Funerals
The 2022 Qatar World Cup will be brought to you by Coca-Cola on the backs of slave workers, many of whom hail from Nepal. These workers live in filth and work in terrifyingly dangerous conditions; their efforts to build the McDonald’s-funded event will result in one dead worker for every 90 seconds ...
Seahawks Punter Competes On A<i>merican Ninja Warrior</i>, Loses
For the record, I’m pretty sure every member of the Deadspin staff would fail on the first American Ninja Warrior obstacle. None of us are professional athletes, either, so we’re not sure whether to be impressed or underwhelmed by Seahawks punter Jon Ryan’s very short appearance on last night’s epis...
These Rockets Fans Are The Worst Tic-Tac-Toe Players Ever
Children generally learn the optimal tic-tac-toe strategy by the time they’re 10 years old, but don’t tell these Houston Rockets fans that. Selected to take part in a promotion before the fourth quarter of last night’s win over the Warriors, these two knuckleheads struggled equally with the tic-tac-...
Another Batter Catches Ball After HBP, Throws It Back To Pitcher
Just days after we watched Arizona State’s Johnny Sewald catch his own hit by pitch, it happened again last night as Norfolk Tides outfielder Dariel Álvarez snagged Manny Delcarmen’s errant pitch and returned it back to the former Red Sox hurler himself....
First Quarter Offensive Explosion Propels Rockets Past Warriors
As well as the Warriors played in Game 3, the Rockets played even better in the first quarter of Game 4. Besides James Harden, the Rockets starters are all inconsistent offensive performers. But in the first quarter the Rockets went 17-21, 8-9 from three. James Harden scored “only” 10 of the Rockets...
Ducks Overcome Miracle Toews Goal To Win In OT, Take 3-2 Series Lead
The Anaheim Ducks took a 3-2 Western Conference Final lead with a Matt Beleskey goal 45 seconds into overtime that erased an outstanding performance by Jonathan Toews in the final minutes of regulation—including a miracle shot that found the net with 38 seconds remaining....