f Page 1898 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Bhutan Wins Again! A Match Report From A Deadspin Reader In Bhutan
Bhutan pulled it off! The tiny landlocked Himalayan nation advanced to the second round of World Cup qualifying—where they could be placed into a pool with Asian heavyweights like Iran, Japan, or South Korea—by knocking off Sri Lanka 2-1 yesterday, winning the two-legged tie 3-1 on aggregate. The ...
Teamwork Is Helping To Hide Your Buddy's Dong While He Pees On The Bench
If you ever wanted to know how close the Sevilla players are with each other, this is your answer....
The Cowboys Will Basically Pay Greg Hardy Per Game
Defensive lineman Greg Hardy, whose domestic abuse charges were dismissed in February after his accuser didn't show up to court, signed a one-year deal with the Dallas Cowboys today that can reach up to $13.1 million if all incentives are reached....
My Beloved Stuffed Animal Needs A Bath, And I'm A Nervous Wreck
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
Today In Tifos
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....
March Madness Beer Brackets Are Stupid, So Here's The Winner Of Ours!
Have you guys filled out all your brackets? I'm a bit behind this year. I've taken care of "Vegan Pizza Toppings," "Aunts Who Have Disappointed Me," "Bands I've Never Heard Of," and "Dudes Named Gary," and today I hope to get to "NCAA Men's Basketball," but I doubt I'm going to find time to complete...
The Colts' New Rule Proposal: Touchdown Drives Worth Up To Nine Points
The NFL's Competition Committee plans to discuss proposals for rule changes with team owners at meetings next week, and this year, there's a particularly fun idea submitted by the Colts: If a team scores a touchdown, then successfully goes for two points, it can kick a bonus 50-yard field goal for...
Bernard Pierce To Cop After DUI: "I'm Getting Cut." And He Is!
Running back Bernard Pierce was released by the Baltimore Ravens today, hours after he was arrested on charges that included driving under the influence of alcohol and speeding. The move probably didn't surprise Pierce who, according to a police statement of probable cause, asked the officer who pul...
A 21st-Century Rip Van Winkle: What Changed In My Decade Behind Bars
When the New World was two centuries newer, Washington Irving set a fable, "Rip Van Winkle," in the oldest parts of New York State, where the original Dutch settlers' culture still lingered. Life was European then—just set in America. But progress stops for no man. The story's hero evades his naggin...
WGN Has Woman Make Sparks With Her Crotch In Front Of Awestruck Kids
This wonderful moment in local news history was broadcast recently on Chicago's WGN. Please note the children in the background....
If You Like Lanky, Versatile Big Men, Root For Frank Kaminsky
If the only skin you have in March Madness is the money you've invested in bracket pools, might I suggest paying attention to the 7-foot Midwesterner with the name of a 50-year-old plumber? Wisconsin's extremely talented forward Frank Kaminsky has led the 31-3 Badgers to their first-ever No. 1 see...
How To Bury Your Parents
Your mom is going to die. Your dad is also going to die....
If You Hate College Basketball, Root For Iowa State
Maybe you're one of those basketball aesthetes who dreads March Madness, who just doesn't understand why anyone would want to watch a bunch of semi-skilled college kids try to hump a ball into a basket 35 seconds at a time. That's fine! You can hate college basketball all you want, but I'm here to t...
Sex And Dead Children: Every FCC Viewer Complaint About The Super Bowl
As we do every year, we recently submitted a FOIA request to the FCC for all the complaints it received from viewers upset by something aired at the Super Bowl. There were 34 of them, ranging from disgust toward the Katy Perry/Missy Elliott halftime show, offense at commercials that featured sex o...
All Eyez On Me: Kendrick Lamar's Dense, Neurotic <i>To Pimp A Butterfly</i>
Kendrick Lamar doesn't make anything easy. Sunday night, he briefly broke the constantly breaking internet by issuing his new album, To Pimp a Butterfly, a full week early on iTunes and multiple streaming services; by Monday afternoon, iTunes had both frantically pulled it back down and just as ...
Is This Philip Rivers's Last Year With The Chargers?
That vaunted quarterback class of 2004 will turn 34 this year—right around the age, if you're a good-to-great QB like Ben Roethlisberger, Eli Manning, or Philip Rivers, you get that last longish-term contract to set you for life. Roethlisberger got his extension; Manning's is likely coming soon. But...
Flavia Pennetta Can Return Any Shot Maria Sharapova Hits
Flavia Pennetta took down second-seeded Maria Sharapova 3-6, 6-3, 6-2 at the BNP Paribas Open in Indian Wells because of hard work like this. Pennetta returns what could have been a winner, returns an overhead smash, and probably would've returned a second overhead smash if an official hadn't gott...
The One Thing Both Coaches Can Agree Upon: The Ref Sucks
During the second half of tonight's NIT game between Iona and Rhode Island, Iona's Kelvin Amayo picked up a technical foul for hanging on the rim while attempting to complete an alley-oop. As the referees huddled to discuss the call—it would stand—the camera cut to Rhode Island coach Dan Hurley. B...
Read The Full Report On OSU Hockey's "Get Horny For The Puck" Ex-Coach
Ohio State's women's hockey coach, Nate Handrahan, resigned last week after an investigation found he had a history of inappropriate conduct, including sexualized comments, retaliation for anyone raising concerns to the administration, and telling players to "get horny for the puck." Today, Ohio Sta...
The NFL Holds Roger Goodell In Higher Regard Than President Obama
SB Nation's Eric Sollenberger has been hanging out at South by Southwest this week, and he attended a panel called "Now Athletes are Funny: Power of Comedy and Sports." One of the panelists speaking was Adam Richenbach, an executive producer at Funny Or Die Sports who, as Sollenberger tells it, shar...