f Page 1930 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Who Would Win If A Hippo Fought A Rhino? A Question For The Ages.
This morning, in the Deadspin staff chatroom, we found ourselves debating whether a hippopotamus or a rhinoceros would win in a head-to-head battle. Since the question wasn't settled there [even after, like, six hours—ed], Albert Burneko and Greg Howard have decided to air the question in a public ...

You Can Tell College Gronk's Cool Because He's Wearing Sunglasses
Here we see human Spuds MacKenzie Rob Gronkowski in his natural state at the University of Arizona: No shirt, sunglasses, and a big dumb smirk. You can hear the 311 playing through your screen....

Splendor in the Short Grass
Here's Grover Lewis' famous Rolling Stone takeout on the filming of The Last Picture Show:...

Men Allegedly Dump Beer On Native American Children At Hockey Game
South Dakota police are investigating an allegation that a group of men in a skybox at a minor-league hockey game Saturday dumped beer and yelled racial slurs at Native American children—some as young as 9 years old—causing the group to leave early....

NFLPA Response: With These Benevolent Owners, Who Needs A Union?
After our editorial urging NFL players to form a union ran yesterday, we received the below reply from NFLPA Assistant Executive Director of External Affairs George Atallah....


Screencap Classix: We're All Disgusted
Send stories, photos, and anything else you might have to [email protected]....

Did Chris Paul Get Punched By A Ghost Or What?
One of two things happened here....

Are The 49ers Cheap?
The 49ers have finally and painfully assembled their coaching staff, reportedly reaching a deal with QB coach Geep Chryst to be the new offensive coordinator—but only after being turned down by at least four other candidates. That's a pattern, and it is one that hints at a worrying gameplan in Santa...

Report: Markieff And Marcus Morris Under Investigation For Assault
According to CBS 5 News, Phoenix Suns twins Marcus and Markieff Morris are being investigated by Phoenix police for their role in an alleged assault that occurred Saturday outside of a gym. Details are scant, but CBS 5 News says the twins are "being looked at as suspects in the crime." The Morrise...

Horrible Man Has Terrible Idea
"Before we die, there will be an NFL theme park. In fact, an executive for the Pro Football Hall of Fame recently proposed a version for Canton, Ohio, in which actual elderly NFL retirees would live in a nearby 'village.'" [Grantland]...

Free-Kick King Christian Eriksen Scores Another Beautiful Bender
Christian Eriksen has neither the rep, the unique technique, nor the iconic stance of Cristiano Ronaldo and his free kicks, but on the low, he might have the best right foot in the world when it comes to thwapping balls into the goal from any and every angle on set pieces....

How To Hit On Girls In The Club (Or Not)
Let me get this out of the way: I love both going to the club (dancing and music are great!) and dudes (they're so cute!). But dudes absolutely ruin the club. There's a reason ladies often get in for free or cheap: Both dudes and non-dudes are happier when the dude ratio is lower. Just a small sampl...

Fernando Torres, Missing For Four Years, Found Scoring Goals In Madrid
Hey, who's this new "Fernando Torres" guy, and what did you do with the one we've come to know and loathe? Also: hey, there you are Fernando! Where have you been hiding all these years?...

Key & Peele Will Make You Laugh With More Fake Football Names
This is the third time they've done this sketch, and it is somehow not yet completely tiresome. This latest edition is aided by the presence of a few guest stars....

It Is Time To Crown The Ultimate Super Bowl Snack. VOTE VOTE VOTE!
It comes down to this, a battle of the triangular, compressed corn chip: The final matchup in our Ultimate Super Bowl Snack Playoffs pits two number 1 seeds, Nacho Cheese Doritos and Tortilla Chips, against one another....

Marshawn Lynch Already Explained Why He Hates Talking To The Media
By now, Marshawn Lynch's natural reticence to speak to reporters—even when contractually obligated to do so—has metastasized into something else entirely; after a season of locker-room verbal combat, it's less shyness than it is defiance. Defiance of league regulations he believes are illogical, of ...

Hockey Fan Eats It Down The Stairs
Some sweet deke skills by my man there, who executes a perfect toe drag to blow by that other guy. Who says you shouldn't drink and dangle?...

NFL Players Should Unionize
The National Football League had its way with Marshawn Lynch this week, reportedly threatening to fine the Seattle Seahawks running back $500,000 if he didn't speak to reporters. This is just one more in a series of incidents in which the league has threatened players with disproportionate penalties...
![D-League Teammates Ejected For Fighting Each Other [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/Image_Not_Found_1x_qjofp8.png)
D-League Teammates Ejected For Fighting Each Other [Update]
The Iowa Energy's Kalin Lucas and Jarnell Stokes got into a nice little brawl on their bench during a third-quarter timeout last night, having to be pulled apart and getting ejected from the game....