f Page 1998 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Today's College Football Viewing Schedule
The third-ranked Florida State Seminoles are just 2½ point favorites against the unranked 6-3 Miami Hurricanes tonight. That doesn't make any sense, but let's go with it. Hooray for playoff chaos....

Tits Out For The Tide: Your <em>College GameDay</em> Sign Roundup
ESPN's College GameDay traveled once again to Tuscaloosa, where a surprising number of Jameis Winston sign-holders were in attendance. You know he beat Auburn, right, Bamafan?...

How To Make Tuna-Bean Salad, Cheap Chow To Feel Good About
Albert Burneko is off. Your guest Foodspinner is friend of the program and pork belly enthusiast Miserable Shitehawk....

ESPN Can Predict The Future
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Records Show Cop Visits To Dez Bryant's Home Were Mostly Nothingburgers
On Sunday, NFL.com's Ian Rapoport reported that the Cowboys had some "concerns" over Dez Bryant's off-the-field behavior, and he cited a handful of times the cops were called to Bryant's house. Surely the team's airing of these concerns had nothing at all to do with the fact that the star wide recei...


Carlos Bacca Scores Colombian Equalizer, Sparks Heavy Metal Meltdown
We highlighted Javier "El Cantante del Gol" Fernández's goal calls throughout the World Cup, and we're happy to bring you his especially-emphatic call of Carlos Bacca's equalizer against the United States today at Craven Cottage. (Sure looks like Colombia was offside here, though?)...

Fat Ronaldo May Be Fat, But He Can Still Jump Really High
While it's perhaps a little surprising that a man can exercise, as Fat/Real Ronaldo is depicted doing in the Vine below, and maintain a gut like that, it isn't a shock to see that one of the greatest players ever still has enough hops to clear 113cm with a standing jump:...

Rex Ryan Fined $100,000 For Yelling "Fuck You"
As time expired on Sunday and the Jets snapped their eight-game losing streak, Rex Ryan let loose with some hearty and satisfying profanity. It'll cost him $100,000, per Chris Mortensen....

This Is How Tallahassee Police Protect Florida State Football Players
On October 5th at 2:30 a.m., a car driven by Florida State cornerback P.J. Williams turned across oncoming traffic and was struck. Williams and his two passengers—which included Ronald Darnby, FSU's other starting cornerback—fled the scene on foot. They later returned but Williams, who was driving w...

Foodies Claim Non-Artisanal Flour Is Poisoning You
For centuries, man has suffered under the unyielding tyranny of the automated mill and its proponents, who have consigned him to flavorless, unethical, and possibly poisonous baked goods. At last salvation is at hand, though, through the good offices of the artisanal food movement!...

This, from Sean McIndoe on what he sees as the end of the enforcer in the NHL, is very good. I think he doesn't nail the simplest explanation until the very end, which is that goons are on the way out because teams have finally realized and quantified how much value they forfeit by taking a roster s...

Hold X To Kick Spacey's Ass: Defending <em>Call Of Duty: Advance Warfare</em>
Last night I watched in horror as high-tech commandos blew up the Golden Gate Bridge, sending huge chunks of my city's signature landmark showering down onto a fleet of Navy vessels. Burst-jumping down the bike lane I've personally used many times, I did my best to stop the atrocity. Alongside my ...

<em>Sun-Times</em>' Bears Headline: "Hedy Hey Hedy Hey Hedy"
ledey ledey ledey ledey ledey...


So Stupid It Just Might Work: <em>Dumb And Dumber To</em>, Reviewed
1. Before you get too wrapped up in the negative early reaction to Dumb and Dumber To, the 20-years-later sequel to the 1994 mega-hit, remember that critics hated the first one. Critics are notoriously bad at predicting what comedies are going to stand the test of time; the target is always moving...

Report: Royals And Chiefs Concessions Are Disgusting, Unhygienic Mess
Were you one of those fans fortunate enough to see the Royals' magical postseason run in person, or perhaps you're a loyal Chiefs supporter? If so good for you, but it means you probably ate some mold or rodent shit. ...

Cal's Failed Fake Punt Was Glorious
The high-stepping, gotta-pee dance from Cal punter Cole Leininger made this something special, even before he put a floater at the feet of Stefan McClure. ...


Ahhhh Jesus
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