f Page 2012 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Even Hockey Highlights Are Better When Called By Spanish Announcers
It's no secret that when given the opportunity, we watch games called by Spanish-language announcers. (Yours truly being located in Florida, those options are plentiful.) So here's the Florida Panthers' winning goal by Scottie Upshall Thursday night, as called by Arley Londoño of ESPN Radio as par...
Mischievous Lil' Pandas Refuse To Take Their Medicine
This is what happened when a zoo keeper in China—who has some pretty dope boots, by the way—tried to feed some medicine to two of the young pandas being held in the zoo. Dude's plan was to squirt the medicine into their mouths with a syringe; the pandas' plan was to fight this jabroni and get him th...
Which Hoodie Brings Bill Belichick The Most Success?
Mike Dussault, also known as @PatsPropaganda, looked through 160 games since 2003 and tracked the types of hoodies worn by Bill Belichick to determine which one yielded the best record. He also specified hoodies with and without sleeves cut off. We thank him for his hard work....
Emails Show That FSU Requested Police Investigation Of Karlos Williams
It was an FSU official, general counsel Carolyn Egan, who forwarded a screenshot of a damning Facebook post to the cops, starting the ongoing domestic battery investigation involving running back Karlos Williams, according to emails released by Tallahassee police....
Bill Belichick Is Fed Up With All These Wrong-Ass Meteorologists
At today's press conference, somebody asked Patriots head coach Bill Belichick if he ever takes the weather forecast into account when game planning, and Belichick responded by going on a sustained grumble-rant about how shitty weather forecasters are at their jobs....
Cubs Fire Rick Renteria After One Season, Admit He Got Fucked
After Joe Maddon unexpectedly left the Tampa Bay Rays, the Cubs worked quickly to cut a deal and bring him on. Current skipper Rick Renteria, a baseball lifer in his first-ever major league managing gig, got the shaft, and president Theo Epstein admitted as much in today's press release....
I Watched A Journeyman Fighter Get His Ass Beat In A Cage In St. Louis
From Thrown, Kerry Howley's new, great book on mixed martial arts, available now....
John Clayton Sent A Gift To The Player Who Ended Brian Bosworth's Career
John Clayton, who covered the Seahawks for nine years before joining ESPN in 1995, made an appearance on Seattle's ESPN radio affiliate Wednesday, and was asked about the 30 for 30 documentary "Brian and the Boz," which had debuted on ESPN the night before. He revealed that once upon a time, young...
Here's The Deep-Thinking, Super-Alcoholic Beer For You
When last we Drunkspun, we were so angry at Stella Artois for sucking that we completely overlooked the fact that we don't even need the good Belgian beer around anymore. We were so busy praising all the good Belgian beer, lest we look ugly and ungracious by failing to properly appreciate their ce...
Chart: All Of Peyton Manning's Pick-Sixes, By Defender And Distance
Hey, remember that cool chart from last week, visualizing all of Peyton Manning's regular season touchdowns? Well, it missed a few. In belated honor of Peyton's record-setting career throwing touchdowns, here are all the touchdowns he's thrown to the other team. ...
Lay Off The Spaghetti, Marathoners: Why Carb Loading Might Slow You Down
The 45,000 or so runners who will gather on Staten Island for this Sunday's NYC Marathon have put in the training. They've run and stretched and strengthened and covered their finely honed machine in technical fabrics. The only question that remains is this: What should they put in the tank?...
Cops: Players Shouted "Football Strong!" After Dislocating Man's Brain
Police say the five California University players arrested yesterday on charges they brutally stomped a man outside a Pennsylvania restaurant left the man with brain injuries so severe that "the lower part of his brain has shifted 80 degrees."...
Little Kid At Giants Parade Yells "Fuck Her Right In The Pussy" On Air
The practice of yelling "fuck her right in the pussy" at inappropriate moments should no longer be a thing, but this instance is notable because of how young the perpetrator is. The kid jumps in there with the quickness, does his damage, and dashes off, leaving the poor reporter to try and salvage...
Candy Corn Is Garbage
Many people like candy corn, such as hobos, serial murderers, and Satan. But actually, candy corn is terrible. If you give it out to trick-or-treating children this evening, you belong in fucking prison....
DeAngelo Hall Tore His Achilles When He Slipped While Getting Pizza
The NFL's had a weird spate of injuries this season, on top of the regular injuries that happen every game. Stephen Tulloch and Lamarr Houston tore their ACLs celebrating; Detroit Lions tight end Joseph Fauria hurt himself trying to stop his (adorable) puppy from peeing in the house; and yesterday, ...
Report: Michigan's Incompetent Moron AD Set To Resign
In the middle of a humiliating football season, the Michigan Wolverines are making a major change. Athletic director Dave Brandon will resign in a press conference scheduled for later today....
Former 'Skins QB Expresses World's Dumbest Thought About Team's Name
Jay Schroeder played quarterback for Washington from 1984-1987, and he was recently asked by the Pioneer Press to share his opinion on the fact that his former team still uses a racial slur as a name. ...
Do Baseball Salaries Have "Precious Little" To Do With Ability?
This post originally ran on Phil Birnbaum's sabermetric blog. It is reprinted here with permission....
Flyers Pranked By Old "Snake In The Cooler" Trick
For Halloween, the Flyers' equipment manager decided to freak out his players by sticking a plastic snake in a beverage cooler. Whole lotta f-bombs, which is the only appropriate way to react to a king cobra guarding your water....