f Page 2015 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Even Carlo Ancelotti Wishes Sepp Blatter Would Shut The Fuck Up
FIFA has released its Ballon d'Or shortlist, which means Sepp Blatter can take time away from his day job of punching up FIFA propaganda and gets to enjoy some of that media facetime he loves so much. Like you, Real Madrid manager Carlo Ancelotti would prefer Sepp spared us his hot takes....
Stella Artois Is A Disgrace To Belgium
A couple weeks ago, I wrote a big, trashy, sensationalist, and 100-percent accurate post titled "There Is No Excuse For Drinking Heineken," in which I argued that there are literally thousands of better-tasting ways to communicate to the world that you have a dollar more than the price of a Budwei...
Cops: Man Says Karlos Williams Set Up Pot Deal That Led To Robbery
A man who tried to buy pot in Tallahassee and instead got robbed told police the deal was initiated by Florida State running back Karlos Williams, according to a Tallahassee police warrant. ...
Jimbo Fisher Is A Whimpering Penis
Florida State is ranked second overall in the College Football Playoff committee's current rankings, which are determined by a complex mix of computer algorithms and schedule analysis and praying to a magic goldfish for spiritual guidance. And if you're like me, you're hoping that Florida State los...
DeSean Jackson Will Catch Deep Balls No Matter Who Throws To Him
Washington has started three quarterbacks this season in an effort to find one that works. It's been terrible. Despite the shuffling, one offensive player hasn't been affected much at all: DeSean Jackson, the big-play receiver with the busted quarterbacks, has kept busting up defenses. ...
Missing Broncos Fan "Had His Fill Of Football," Tried To Hitchhike Home
Police have located Paul Kitterman, a 53-year-old man from Kremmling, Col. who disappeared while attending last Thursday's Broncos game. He was found in Pueblo, Col., which is about 100 miles away from Denver....
Tony Dungy Doesn't Think Michael Vick Is Being Haunted By Dog Ghosts
Are dog ghosts haunting Michael Vick, causing him and the Jets to be cursed? Let's ask Tony Dungy this oddly specific question....
How Much Madison Bumgarner Are We Going To See Tonight?
It took the Royals about an hour to put away Game 6 last night, leaving us all plenty of time to start thinking about how each team plans to set itself up in Game 7. One question looms larger than all the others: How much is Madison Bumgarner going to pitch?...
Jerry Jones: Tony Romo's Status Depends On His Pain Tolerance
The good: Tony Romo's new back injury isn't related to his surgery, and it won't end his season. The bad: That's only true if you believe Jerry Jones....
NCAA Punishes Todd Gurley, Still Thinks It's An Actual Court Of Law
Georgia star running back Todd Gurley was suspended by his school earlier this month after a bitter memorabilia dealer snitched on Gurley because he wasn't making enough money off the player's autographs. It was some extremely dumb shit. Now, the NCAA has swooped in and hit Gurley with its own set o...
Wilson Kipsang Could Be $500K Richer For A Shit Run In London '13
The World Marathon Majors, which consist of Tokyo, London, Boston, Berlin, Chicago, and New York, crown a champion every year based on overall placing during a two-year period. It is as unintelligible and confusing as it sounds. That being said, the WMM does dole out a half-million dollars to its tw...
Canadian College Football Fans Are Adorable Berserkers
Sixty years ago, LIFE magazine tapped into the joys and tortures of football fandom by traveling north of the American border, where collegians in Ontario were positively freaking out over a rare win on the gridiron. All these years later, there's something quite sweet about the pictures—a reminde...
Premier League Referee Suspended For Attending Ed Sheeran Concert
Some things are worth being suspended from your job for a week, and for English Premier League referee Mark Clattenburg, those things include attending an Ed Sheeran concert....
Foods That Taste Good But Aren’t Shitty For You: A Matrix
Time for your weekly edition of the Deadspin Funbag. Got something on your mind? Email the Funbag. Today, we're covering voodoo, Papa John, handcuffing, and more....
Tampa Bay's Overtime Fumble Was The Most Costly Fuckup In Week 8
After receiving the ball to start overtime, Tampa Bay could have ended the game with a touchdown drive. But Tampa tight end Austin Seferian-Jenkins fumbled on the first scrimmage play of overtime, and Minnesota linebacker Anthony Barr returned the fumble for a touchdown, which ended the game and...
Evil Twin Hipster Ale Is Cool, Just Like You
Evil Twin is an interesting operation. In the unlikely event you have any free New York Times articles left on the 28th of a pretty newsy month, you can learn nearly everything I know about that operation here. A quick summary: It's a contract-brewing company run out of Brooklyn by a Danish guy who ...
S.O.S.: Kenyan Runner Allegedly Kidnapped Son, Threatened To Kill Wife
Asbel Kiprop, the Kenyan Olympic champion in the 1500-meters and two-time world champion ('11, '13), was accused over the weekend of a wide range of crimes, including impregnating a 16-year-old, abusing and threatening said child-bride, and then kidnapping the child. Who says the NFL has the market ...