f Page 2086 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

NFL Announces Severe New Penalties For Domestic Violence
In a memo sent to the owners today, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell announced massive new punishments for all NFL personnel—not just players—who commit domestic violence offenses. Offenders will be suspended six games for a first offense, and receive an indefinite ban for a second, with the ability t...

Gene Hackman Does Rambo: The Emo Machismo Of <em>Uncommon Valor</em>
Gene Hackman made a Rambo movie, and only a year after the original. Maybe it's best to think of 1983's Uncommon Valor as the missing link between The Deer Hunter and the first Rambo sequel, two extremely fucking different takes on the idea that there are still prisoners of war in Vietnam, and we ne...

Welcome To The Gradual Unfucking Of College Football
Every year, right around this time, I cobble together a Hater's Guide to the Top 25 teams in college football. And it contains pretty much everything you would expect in any boilerplate piece of college football trolling: Notre Dame is full of haughty dipshits; Alabama fans are crazy redneck muta...

Report: Adrian Peterson Told Jerry Jones He Wants To Play For Dallas
In this week's ESPN The Magazine, Don Van Natta profiles Cowboys owner Jerry Jones. There's so, so much in there. It starts off with Jones dancing with Kate Bosworth, for goodness sake. But, yeah, this Adrian Peterson story is going to make some news on its own....

Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Minnesota Vikings
Some people are fans of the Minnesota Vikings. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Minnesota Vikings. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....


Shannon Sharpe: "Josh Gordon Is A Marijuana Junkie"
Shannon Sharpe was a guest co-host on this morning's episode of First Take and he had some weird things to say about Josh Gordon's year-long suspension from the NFL....

August Sucks—The NBA Or NHL Playoffs Should Move There
In non-Olympic years, there's no wider chasm of utter sports emptiness than late July and August. NBA and NHL free agency have pretty much wrapped up, and most NFL "news" involves players describing the best shape of their lives. Thankfully, football and European soccer are just about back, but for ...

Founders All Day: Because Session IPAs Are Perfect For Football Season
Do you ever deal with Journalist Twitter? It is possibly the very most self-important subgenre of social media, though Aggrieved-Teacher Facebook gives it a run for its money. (Not that they're in it for the money, which we believed the first 50,000 times they mentioned it this morning, which they...

Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Detroit Lions
Some people are fans of the Detroit Lions. But many, many more people are NOT fans of the Detroit Lions. This 2014 Deadspin NFL team preview is for those in the latter group....

The Best And Worst 2014 Summer Movies: A Grierson And Leitch Report
If you ask the bean-counters, this was a disappointing summer: Almost every major sequel underperformed (Transformers: Age of Extinction, The Expendables 3, and The Amazing Spider-Man 2 were all the lowest-grossing entries in their respective series), and there were some truly ugly flops, most n...

Dan Snyder Wants A New Stadium Because FedEx Field "Is 17 Years Old Now"
Dan Snyder wants a new stadium, and it's the perfect storm of one of sports' most odious owners taking his turn at one of sports' biggest scams. ...

Josh Shaw's Lawyer Confirms Balcony Fall
There's a whole lot of confusion on what actually happened to USC DB Josh Shaw, who sprained both ankles in some sort of incident on Saturday. Well, here's one piece of the puzzle, filled in....

Report: Tom Brady "Very Upset" By Logan Mankins Trade
Everyone's still a little shocked by the Patriots' trade of six-time Pro-Bowl guard Logan Mankins to the Buccaneers in exchange for TE Tim Wright and a fourth-round draft pick. But if you were taken aback, imagine how the guy who's been protected by Mankins for the past nine seasons must feel....

Yankees Catcher Gets Hit In The Dick, YES Thinks It Was His Collarbone
Francisco Cervelli took a foul ball to the dick in the fifth inning of Wednesday's game against the Tigers. In real time, it was hard to tell where he actually got hit and when the trainer came out to check him out it looked like he was grabbing Cervelli's shoulder area. That led YES analyst Ken S...

UNC Suspends Four Players After Report Of Alleged Hazing Investigation
North Carolina has suspended four players—starting cornerbacks Desmond Lawrence and Brian Walker and backups M.J. Stewart and Donnie Miles—after it was revealed the school is investigating an alleged hazing incident that left walk-on freshman wideout Jackson Boyer with a concussion. ...

Cardinals Fan Has No Idea He's About To Get Hit With A Flying Bat
You might say this GIF is too long. You would be wrong, and have no understanding of things like delayed gratification and rising action, but you might say something stupid like "this GIF is too long." Do yourself a favor: don't say that, and just watch. It's beautiful. ...

USC: Josh Shaw Admits He Made Up Drowning Nephew Story
According to a statement released by USC, defensive back Josh Shaw made up the story about rescuing his 7-year-old drowning nephew last Saturday night at a family party....

Rutgers Spent $120,000 On This Commercial
Rutgers is debuting this TV commercial Thursday during their season opener against Washington State, and it's not a terrible commercial, but for $120,000? They could've coaxed Will Ferrell to stand in a field and say "Rutgers" for probably half of that, and it'd do better....