f Page 2167 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
The Trashiest Tattoo Locations, Ranked
Before we get to the Funbag, a couple of things. First off, to commemorate the paperback release ofSomeone Could Get Hurt, I'm gonna do a reading at the Dodge City bar here in D.C. on Wednesday night. We'll start around 8:30 p.m, and I promise not to read for too long, because no one ever likes th...
Retired Stars File Suit Alleging NFL Doped Them Up Like Race Horses
Some very large piles of shit just hit the fan in the world of the NFL today. Eight former NFL players—Richard Dent, Jim McMahon, Jeremy Newberry, Roy Green, J.D. Hill, Keith Van Horne, Ron Stone, and Ron Pritchard—have filed a class-action lawsuit against the NFL. The suit claims that the league su...
Goaltending Is Not The Canadiens' Problem
The difference between an elite goaltender and an outright bad one really isn't that huge. The best goalie in the league is probably going to give you .925, maybe .930 over the course of a season. The worst regular starter is probably going to sit around .900 or .905. That's two or three extra saves...
Connor Barwin Says Nick Foles Has The Biggest Dong On The Eagles
Hey, have you ever found yourself sitting around and wondering things like, "Which player on the Philadelphia Eagles has the biggest unit?" Well, thanks to Eagles linebacker Connor Barwin, it looks like we have an answer to that question....
$60 Million High School Football Stadium Deemed Unsafe
Two years ago, the football-mad suburb of Allen, Texas, sank $60 million into a state-of-the-art, 18,000-seat high school football stadium. Now, according to the Dallas Morning News, the stadium will be closed for the upcoming season because it has been deemed structurally unsafe. ...
Rugby Player Congratulates Opponent Who Punched Him Out
I'm no expert when it comes to rugby, but I think that it's safe to say that we have finally reached Peak Rugby, and it's all thanks to Tom Youngs and Salesi Ma'afu....
Chained Wimbledon: The Joys And Perils Of Prison Tennis
The next time I commit a felony, I think I'll do it in California. It turns out that San Quentin has a fabulous tennis program. The court I played on during my time in the New York State prison system was a total wreck. Two summers at Groveland Correctional Facility (starting in 2009) did improve my...
H-U-S-T-L-E-R
The great John Lardner's take on Titanic Thompson (True, 1951):...
It's Westbrook And Durant Vs. The World Now
The Spurs, because they are the all-consuming, unrelenting Spurs, did everything they were supposed to in their Game 1 matchup with the Thunder last night. With Serge Ibaka off the floor, they put their heads down and attacked the rim over and over again, scoring 66 points in the paint. They were in...
<em>The Maya Rudolph Show</em> Is Half-Man, Half-Muppet, And All Woman
"Men invented nepotism and practically live by it. It's okay for women to do it, too." All week long, I've been thinking about that quote from Roxane Gay's forthcoming essay collection, Bad Feminist—a prayer-hands-emoji-inducing aphorism that echoed again during last night's premiere of The Maya Rud...
Foul Ball-Seeking Angels Fan Absolutely Wrecks Old Woman
The most painful part of this video? The poor old woman crying out, "My shoulder!"...
Pantomime Cunnilingus And Blowjob: Braves Fan Covers All The Bases
So, here is a dude on the SportsSouth Braves feed doing the ol' blowjob and cunnilingus routine behind home plate. There's not a whole lot to praise here, but we do appreciate his open-mindedness and willingness to please when it comes to pantomiming oral sex....
Former Tampa Bay Bucs Cheerleader Sues Team For Wage Theft
Former Buccaneers cheerleader Manouchcar Pierre-Val has just made Tampa Bay the fifth NFL team to get served with a lawsuit from its cheerleaders. ...
Cleveland Fan Takes Baseball Square In The Face
This guy at the Tigers-Indians game tonight was really excited to get a baseball from Asdrubal Cabrera. In between innings, Cabrera launched a baseball into the bleachers and this dude ran in front of some folks seated in the area, leaped, and perfectly positioned his face to stop the ball dead in i...
Giant Sinkhole Opens At Austin Peay's Football Stadium
Austin Peay's Governors Stadium is getting a facelift, but a 40-foot-deep sinkhole in the north endzone has made the process a little more difficult. Workers have been aware of the sinkhole for some time, but in trying to make the area safe and workable, they've had to dig out a considerably larger ...
When Is a "Party 69" Jersey Appropriate?
The answer to that question is almost certainly "never," but let's keep open the possibility that this jersey is somehow acceptable in at least one situation. Siths and absolutes, and all that. Still, we can safely say that the hypothetically palatable "Party 69" jersey-wearing situation is not a ga...
Kid Asks Kanye To Sign His Yeezys; Kanye Tells Him They Are Fake
Tough break, kid, but if you have to choose one way to find out that your Yeezys are fake, hearing it from the mouth of Yeezus himself is probably the best-case scenario....
Tony La Russa Warns Grads About The Machines During Commencement Speech
Tony La Russa gave the commencement speech at Washington University last week. It was, like most commencement speeches, sort of rambly and boring. But there was one La Russian moment that caught our attention, in which the old manager started going on about Styx, the machines, and sabermetrics....
College Freshman Runs Wind-Aided 9.77-Second 100 Meters
Baylor freshman Trayvon Bromell crushed the competition this weekend at the Big 12 track & field championships, turning in a ridiculous 9.77 in the 100 meters—albeit with a wind reading that rendered the time ineligible for any records....
Your Open Relationship Is Horseshit
There was a dude on Reddit today who proposed an open relationship with his girlfriend, only to have the whole thing blow up in his face when his girlfriend managed to score vestigial lovers and he couldn't do likewise. Any normal person will tell you that, unless your name is Gene Simmons, open re...