f Page 3073 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Area Man Has One Night Stand With Hockey Team From Phoenix In Town On Business
Former collegiate goaltender Tom Fenton (2008-2009 record: 1-12-1, 3.60 GAA) was plucked from a barber's chair yesterday and whisked to Madison Square Garden to play emergency backup for the Coyotes. "Kinda thought my friends were pulling a prank," he said....

What The Hell Happened To Keith Tkachuk?
One of the greatest American-born hockey players ever, Tkachuk was never known as a svelte dude. But just eight months after retirement, he's looking like he still wears his pads under his dress shirt....

Send Us Your Holiday Party Horror Stories
For someone who has spent such a large portion of his life drinking and vomiting, I have a shocking deficit of embarrassing holiday party stories. That's where you come in....

Everybody's Taking Photos With Cam Newton's Stolen Computer
The bad news about Cam Newton's defenestration of a stolen laptop when police arrived: it broke. The good news: all the tech folks tasked with fixing it got to have a little fun first....

The Best (And Only) Futsal Goal You'll See All Week
A ridiculous sport calls for a ridiculous goal. Portuguese indoor soccer player Ricardinho makes with the move I'm sure there's a name for, but I'll just call the reverse floppy dolphin kick....

McNabb Benched Because Rex Grossman Has Better Grasp Of 60-Minute Offense, Or Something
CSN's Kelli Johnson reports: "Just learned that Rex Grossman is starting over McNabb Sun in Dallas; I'm told Redskins Lockeroom is divided and guys are extremely upset." [@kjohnsoncsn]...

Telestrator Dong Breaks Out On The Odd-Dong Rush
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

The Worst News Lede You'll Read All Year (UPDATE)
"For the past month, body parts have been piling up around Miami-Dade and Broward counties like extra pounds on Kim Kardashian come Christmas time." [Miami New-Times, Google cache Screengrab below]...

Drew Brees Is Officially The Politest Man In The World
Congratulations to Drew Brees, named the Best-Mannered Person of 2010 by something called the National League of Junior Cotillions....

Vikings Fans: Enjoy Joe Webb, No Guaranteed Seating, And No Booze
How many Minnesotans are wondering if they can just cancel the season now? Monday's game at TCF Bank Stadium will be "first-come, first-serve" and there will be no alcohol sold. Also, terrible football. [Pioneer Press]...

A Former NFLer Goes Behind The Sideline Wall
Yesterday, Jets strength and conditioning coach Sal Alosi was suspended indefinitely for ordering a sideline wall and tripping up Miami's Nolan Carroll. We asked ex-NFL player and occasional Deadspin contributor Nate Jackson for his thoughts....

Smoking Hot Red Zone Gal Answers Your Stupid Questions!
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....

What Kind Of Dog Will Michael Vick Get?
Yesterday, Vick told an interviewer he'd love to own another dog to help with his rehabilitation. Naturally, Bodog is already taking bets on that dog's breed....

You'll Never Guess Which White Patriots Player Has The Best Selling Jersey
I know we keep harping on this. But Hub fans keep doing stuff like running out and buying a guy's jersey just because he's "scrappy."...

Polish Fans Break Out The Flares For Five-A-Side Under-12 Team
We've all been there — in the pub, going round the table, explaining who you support....

This Photo Is Great
It's got everything: Garnett taking a vaudeville bow, Ray Allen smiling at some private joke, Nate Robinson concussing himself, and Paul Pierce doing the last number from All That Jazz. Photo by UPI's John Angelillo. [@si_vault; also, you are encouraged to read Leitch's take on the game]...

Merril Hoge Will Say "Factorback" As Often As He Damn Well Pleases, OK?
Reader Andrew, tired of hearing ESPN's Merril Hoge say "factorback" as if the word actually meant something, recently decided to send the man an email through his website. Soon, Andrew got a testy reply, signed "Merril (Factorback)."...

Bill Simmons And Tawwmy From Quinzee, Together At Last
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Bob Feller, Cleveland Indians Hall Of Famer, Is Dead At 92
"Rapid Robert" joined the Indians at age 16 for $1 and a baseball autographed by his team. He won 266 games in 18 seasons, despite losing four years to serve for the Navy during World War II. [The Plain Dealer]...

Los Angeles May Not Have An NFL Team, But It Does Have Three Shiny Stadium Designs
Anschutz Entertainment Group (AEG) has released renderings from three architecture firms. AEG will select one to move forward with in the "next month." There are, of course, 100 things that might hinder this timeline, but for now, let's just ooh and ah....