Merril Hoge Will Say "Factorback" As Often As He Damn Well Pleases, OK?

Reader Andrew, tired of hearing ESPN's Merril Hoge say "factorback" as if the word actually meant something, recently decided to send the man an email through his website. Soon, Andrew got a testy reply, signed "Merril (Factorback)."

Andrew doesn't have the note he sent Hoge, though he freely admits that the exchange "makes us both look small." He describes his email thus:

My message was short, and profanity-free. In a nutshell, it said that his overuse of the term factorback is annoying, that it's a transparent attempt to brand himself and create a catchphrase, and that if he thought I was in the minority on this, it suggested he google "Hoge Factor Back" and see what my fellow basement-dwellers are saying. I kept the vitriol low, and held back from complaining about his 9-button blazers, and ciabatta-sized windsors, even though they really do contribute to his overall Hoge-ness.

The factor-analyst was not amused, and wrote back quickly.

Hoge's reply reads:

Andrew,

I hope you do more with you life than right emails about what you think people should be doing or what YOU think people like. I have made a career off negative people like you, that point fingers and hide behind emails and judges others and act's like the people they email would change how or what they do!!! You appear to have no life and live a negative existence. I do hope you can take your energies and put them towards more positive things in life than send immature emails out to people. If i listened to negative, confused people like you I would not have passed the 3rd grade, but instead its people like you that give me extra motivation!! I will continue to do exactly what i feel like doing on TV and you can choose to watch or turn the channel, either way will be just fine with me.

We do appreciate when you watching.

Have a Merry Christmas

Merril (Factorback)

Hoge gets points for the super-bitchcakes signature. And, really, you almost have to feel sorry for him. Here he is, quietly trying to brand himself with those factorbacks and that Lombardi "a seal here and a seal here" business, while all around him in Bristol, the network's stars are going "WHOOP!" and "BOOYAH!" and raping the Eagles songbook. He's just another guy trying to make a mild ass of himself on television, America. Leave him be.