f Page 3084 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
My Asian Roommate Stole My Handjob!
Welcome to Great Moments in Drunken Hookup Failure, where we showcase four heartwarming true stories of drunken love gone horribly awry. Off we go....
Someone Alleges The Patriots Are Dirty Players; Sun Rises In The East
Lions QB Shaun Hill says that some New England player tried to re-break his previous broken arm during a scrum. As long as it wasn't helmet to helmet, we'll allow it. [MLive]...
What Objects Are We Putting In Our Rectums?
Let's have some more fun with the Sun-Sentinel's emergency room database, shall we? Here's a list of various objects that in various contexts were lodged in various rectums. Verbatim:...
Another Children's Treasury Of Bizarre Injuries
Last year, we brought you some highlights from the Sun-Sentinel's database of emergency room visits. They've updated it for the holidays, so we've picked it through for some of the stranger hospitalizations....
Unfortunately, Not Everyone Likes Lionel Messi
With his hilarious Monkees hair cut and preposterous skills, you'd think that everyone would adore Messi. Not so this tough guy Fonz impersonator. Ouch....
Derek Jeter Is Better Than Anyone Else At Overrating Derek Jeter
Per Bill Madden of New York Daily News: "But sources close to the Jeter/Close camp have said their starting point was six years, $150 million and that they aren't budging on $25 million per year." [NYDN]...
Depressed Pilgrims Encapsulate The Lions Thanksgiving Tradition
That's seven straight losses for Detroit on Turkey Day, and don't expect them to lose the Thursday slot any time soon. At the very least, maybe the league could schedule them for a high school homecoming game. [Where's Weems]...
Your Black Friday Horror Stories
Some of you were forced to wake up at 2 a.m.. to brave the near-riot at the neighborhood Super Store for the crack-of-ass deals on pretty TVs. Here are the two submissions. Two. Really. You're done shopping, send us more....
The White Trashiest Family Ever Hopes You Had A Good Thanksgiving
Is that not the greatest photo ever? Insane Clown Posse tattoo? Check. Pro wrestling t-shirt? Check. Weed t-shirt? Check. Pregnant belly busting out over unbuttoned pants? Damn right, check. Do I even need to tell you this photo was taken at a Mötley Crüe concert?...
Your "Jason Garrett For NFL Coach Of The Year If He Wins Out" Open Thread
This had all the makings of a "marquee" match-up but now it's a showcase for Dez Bryant to solidify himself as the second Best Football Player In The Universe Ever. More memorable Cowboy Turkey Day games are listed here....
Your Annual "I'm Watching This Because I Have Calvin Johnson On My Fantasy Team" Open Thread
This could be one of those 50-10 Thanksgiving blowouts the Lions have semi-traditionally served-up for turkey-banging America, but in this kooky NFL season, Shaun Hill could have the game of his life. Yell about all the pre-feast drama, right here....
Happy Thanksgiving, You Turkey-Banging Assholes!
Drew Magary's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Find more of his stuff at his Twitter feed....
Now You Can Be A Stalkery Fan Of Any Deadspin Writer You Desire
So in addition to the site's own Facebook page, where horny, TOTALLYREAL ladies named Alexia randomly hook-up with eager commenters, you now can personalize your Deadspin allegiance based on each writer....
Gregg Easterbrook Is Such A Putz
"Why do small-school and low-drafted NFL receivers excel where glory boys falter?" asks Gregg Easterbrook, who as far as I'm concerned is Colin Cowherd with a thesaurus and whose answer to his own question is as inevitable as it is dumb....
Heat Strokes, Games 12-14: The Deathly Hallows
FreeDarko's Bethlehem Shoals, a regular contributor to NBA FanHouse and co-author of The Undisputed Guide to Pro Basketball History (visit the FreeDarko store, too!), is keeping a game-by-game diary of the Heat's season — the one you're pretending not to care about....
Your 2010 Deadspin Sports Human Of The Year Nominees Are...
A cavalcade of athletes gone astray from their moral core, rambunctiously violent media personalities, accidental female empowerers, and a mysterious man in a mask. See them all below....
LaMichael James's New Ride Is Raising Some Questions
Oregon's LaMichael James wasn't in Oprah's audience, but he does have — A NEW CAR!!! It's kind of shady too. You know what? No one's eligible. Disqualify everyone. Nobody wins the Heisman or the National Championship....
For A Moment, At Least, Marcus Jordan Flies Like His Father
Marcus Jordan is actually out to a pretty good start to his sophomore year at UCF, but the Jordan genes really show in the elevation after a steal in last night's game....
Ohio State President Dumps On Boise St., TCU, Common Sense
Gordon Gee thinks Boise St. and TCU are unworthy, and prefers the bowl system because playoffs are "a slippery slope to professionalism." In related news, OSU basketball will happily take part in March Madness. [AP]...
The Blake Griffin Poster Has Arrived
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and internets to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....