f Page 3312 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Mike Vick Has Needs That Prison Couldn't Satisfy
What's the first thing Vick did after being released from prison? Hit a strip club with Allen Iverson on amateur night, of course. Being a free man ain't cheap. [TBL]...

Marvin Harrison's Accuser Shot Again, And What This Has To Do With Big Ben
A man who claims he was shot by Marvin Harrison last year was shot again. That's a nebulous sports connection, but you better believe it was on ESPN.com's front page today....

TebowGate Is Tearing The SEC Apart
Forget LeBron, forget Erin Andrews, the real sports mystery of our time is playing out in the SEC. Someone doesn't think Tim Tebow is the second coming. Don't worry, we'll sniff out the blasphemer....

CFL Lineman Sacks Purse Snatcher On Streets Of Edmonton
Because we all need to believe in the power of sport again, here's a story involving an athlete that has a happy ending. If reading about a thief get crunched by a professional football player makes you happy, that is....

Christine Brennan Offers Underminey Advice To Erin Andrews
Says the USA Today columnist: "I also would suggest to her ... that she rely on her talent and brains and not succumb to the lowest common denominator in sports media by playing to the frat house." [Big Lead]...

Would You Let Ricky Williams Massage Your Head?
Ricky Williams is no longer searching for enlightenment in the bottom of a water bong. Oh, he still wants enlightenment, but now he's looking for it in a second career as a holistic healer....

Does ESPN's "Do Not Report" Policy Make Any Sense?
Still not a peep from ESPN on Ben Roethlisberger's legal troubles—and once again no Blog Buzz on SportsCenter—so as long as Big Ben keeps his mouth shut they're standing behind their decision to not stand behind this story....

In This Case, The Zebra Is Not A Euphemism
A Pittsburg State football player will miss this season after a zebra bit him in the arm. Why was he near a zebra in Kansas? He was moving four of them to paint a fence. Damn zebras, man. [KC Star]...

It's Fight Night On The Farm, Sponsored By Your New York Mets
So this is what the Mets have been reduced to. As if watching the team unravel like funnel cake wasn't enough, now the Mets' vice president for player development is reportedly challenging those developing players to shirtless fistfights in Binghamton....

The (Mobile) Internet Is For Porn
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....

Losman To Bring Down Overall Quality Of Play In Whole New League
The UFL finally has its marquee player. The former Bills QB finally has a starting job. Unfortunately for the both of them, those aren't unrelated statements....

And Here's The Front Page Of Tomorrow's <em>New York Post</em>
Amazingly, Busted Coverage's ridiculous giant penis-wielding bachelorette story was completely true. This photo tells the tale: the daring lass staring down the determined Tahoe sheriff as Michael Jordan cautiously avoids a messy inflatable dong confrontation. Yay America....

What Exactly Is Ben Roethlisberger Accused Of Anyway?
Now that the people who care have had time to survey and digest the complaint against Pittsburgh's Ben Roethlisberger, a clearer picture has emerged about the accuser and her allegations and it's not pretty. Here's an attempt to summarize:...

Fox's Shepard Smith Explains McNair Case: "Dying Is Not Illegal"
Mike Florio stopped by Shepard Smith's show today to explain the Ben Roethlisberger case to Republicans, but first, Shep had to explain the Steve McNair case. Did you know that getting shot in the head is not a crime?...

Jeremy Mayfield Likes Fire, 'Splosions
We're not saying that Jeremy Mayfield's meth-fueled race car stepmom drama makes him (and his sport) look like some sort of redneck version of Hamlet….but this video of him blowing up gas cans doesn't help....

Today In Mutton Bustin'
Hurry up, Abilene mutton-bustin' pre-teens! This weekend is your last chance to register for the Wild Bill Hickok Rodeo's sheep-riding extravaganza, also known as the ovine world's revenge for all that Shari Lewis shit. [Abilene Reflector-Chronicle]...

ESPN Breaks Its Silence On Ben Roethlisberger
Fantasy Alert: Big Ben is listed as probable for Week 1 (knee, sexual assault lawsuit.) Adjust your rosters accordingly. [ESPN]...

Chris Berman: The Next Cronkite
In the wake of Walter Cronkite's passing, the Washington Post asked a few famous personages to "suggest public figures who meet the Cronkite standard of trustworthiness." The list is pretty much as you'd expect. Oprah, Bill Moyers, Chris Berman....

The Agony Of Upkeep
There are many shitty things about growing old. But here's one of the shittiest: paying lots of money simply to maintain the shit you already have....

Michael Vick's Next Magical Kingdom
Once upon a time, in a land not-so-far away, he spent 21 months in prison. Now, he might train for an NFL return at Disney's Wide World of Sports. In Disney World! Everyone's about to live happily ever after. [Sentinel]...