f Page 3468 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
That's Why They Call It Special Teams
Chris Myers gave himself a water bukkake before the Bears-Panthers game. We're pretty sure we never need to see that again. In fact, we're stepping away in a moment to invent a time machine so we can step back in time to smash our television set just before it happened and then tell our self in the ...
OMG LT Is Down (Maybe)! Begin Looting Now!
Your Sunday morning NFL headlines to adjust your line... up of food for: • LaDainian Tomlinson's owie toe may keep him off the field (or, you know, not) for the Chargers' attempt to topple Denver down to sea level. Regardless, we require six in-depth profiles of his backups by Monday morning. After ...
For Your Viewing Pleasure: Shall We Play a Game?
• 1:00 — NFL: Oakland @ Kansas City [CBS] — This is a National Fucking Football League game where one head coach may be playing for his job ... in week two. Hopefully I will not get fired after day two. • 1:00 — NFL: Bears @ Carolina [FOX] — Get to know Matt Forte and Kyle Orton. Here's the link to ...
Charlie Weis Tears Two Ligaments in Knee While Simply Standing Around
Charlie Weis got Theismen'd yesterday during the Notre Dame v. Michigan game. Did the fact that he was standing on the sidelines and not actually on the field make the rotund coach feel any more embarrassed? Heck no! After the game, Weis found out he tore two ligaments in his knee and he seemed rath...
Michael Phelps Outshone By Tina Fey in Quest for Comedic Gold
When Michael Phelps took center stage in Beijing, he dominated the competition in the pool over and over. His ability to step up at the Olympics, on the biggest stage of his sport, was unprecedented. But when he took the stage last night in New York as host of NBC’s Saturday Night Live, it was clear...
Nuts v. Contraceptives: #5 Ohio State-#1 USC
Actually, the Southern California Trojans have already won this game by 24 points, but the NCAA by-laws dictate they have to go ahead and play the game anyway. Everybody important is at the game, except you. And, well, me. So let's get through this impending Buckeyes massacre together, shall we? Oh,...
Hugh Johnson IV: Hugh Can't Mess With the Bulldogs
South Carolina put up a tremendous fight and gave us the exciting college football we all hope for early in September. No. 2 ranked Georgia had the ball bounce their way throughout the day, literally in the end zone at one point, but SC never quit. A nice two minute drill put together by Chris Smell...
Afternoon Blogdome: Jimmy Played Pretty Good
• Jimmy Clausen likes Jimmy: "Jimmy likes the buzz of the big game. Michigan or no Michigan, Jimmy likes the roar of the home crowd. Jimmy wishes the game was starting right now." [Sports Hernia] • Even Maryland Fans Were Shocked They Won Today: "Da'Rel Scott looks like a star. He's a strong runner ...
Cal's Jahvid Best Loses His Lunch
The early games have been rather boring this afternoon but California's Jahvid Best is having considerably less fun than you are today. As Jamie Mottram put it, "Maryland is beating the puke out of Cal." Literally....
Why Are There So Many Posts About Hugh?
Maryland is running all over the 23rd ranked Cal Bears. So far we've learned that Jim Henson is a former Terp and that Cal isn't very good. Be sure to send your brilliant observations to "The Hugh Johnson" via AIM. So a cal wide receiver just got knocked out basically and threw up his green Gatorade...
Who Are Hugh?
I'm relatively new to the Hugh. I'm meeting Mr. Johnson for the first time today and hoping he'll be gentle. Clearly, Cal has not recovered from the loss of DeSean "Obama" Jackson and finds themselves trailing Maryland early. In the annual battle of teams that traditionally suck the most, Temple and...
For Your Viewing Pleasure: Let the River Run, Indeed
• 12:00 — College Football: Navy vs. Duke [ESPNU] - Get to know the young men that you will silently curse when they blow by you for promotions in six years. • 2:30 — Movie: Working Girl [A&E] - Joan Cusack only lost this Oscar because she had to compete in the Best Supporting Actress category with ...
Despite Concerns of 'Suicide' Talk, Vince Young Says He's 'Not Depressed'
The Vince Young saga rolls on as we head into week two of the NFL season. It went from Vince Young apparently refusing to go out on the field in the final moments of a game last weekend, to police frantically searching for him Monday night, to talk of Vince having uttered the word "suicide" while ha...
We Find Ourselves Rather Disliking Ike
Galveston, Houston and much of the Gulf Coast stay in lockdown mode this morning, waiting still to assess the human and structural damage as Hurricane Ike, freak storm that it appears to be, drags a huge storm surge over the Texas coast. However, we do have a preliminary assessment of the effect on...
Braylon Edwards Finds The Golden Ticket
Hey, I couldn't let you head out toward your weekend without this small bit of advice: Drive safely. Because even if the cop lets you off with a warning, you may end up with the ticket anyway. Just ask the Browns' Braylon Edwards. Edwards was pulled over on Aug. 29 in Avon, Ohio, for doing 120 mph i...
At Last ... The USC-Ohio State Sideline VIP List Is Here
The Fonz, Isiah Thomas, Ed Helms and Greg Oden are only a few of the celebrities who have been granted sideline VIP passes to Saturday's USC-Ohio State extravaganza, so get your cameras ready if you're going to attend. I happen to know that a certain A.J. Daulerio will be there as well, although not...
Jason Collins And The Golf Cart Of Doom
At least Timberwolves fans have great memories from the 2007-2008 season when their all-time greatest player won an NBA Championship in his first season with another team. Now their center can't avoid injury while driving around a golf course. Per the Minneapolis Star-Tribune: "Collins was injured ...
Terrelle Pryor Is a God Amongst Boys
Need something new, something fresh that doesn't involve Beanie Wells' foot or how many times Pete Carroll is going to look at himself on the television feed of the game? Here's a long profile piece on Terrelle Pryor — the Buckeyes' star recruit at quarterback — who many Buckeyes feel has been hidde...
Joe's Sports, Outdoor & More Calls NL East Race For Phillies
Really, Joe? Really? With your team four games back in the loss column with 15 to play? Retailers are beginning to rely on that annual Mets collapse, just like they count on Christmas. I just know that A.J. is behind this somehow. Still, Joe's Sports, Outdoor & More has never steered me wrong in the...
Erin Andrews Is an Objective Journalist When it Comes To Her Gator Love
Erin Andrews, who now seems to live at the nexus of hotness and controversy in the world of sports (previous resident Anna Kournikova), is angered by suggestions that she shows favoritism for the Gators. The latest flareup arose when internet rumors spread that Andrews flipped off several Miami fans...