f Page 3609 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
We Keep Our Wanka Kits In The Nightstand Drawer
Good news for those of you who haven't been able to track down a replica jersey of the Jacksonville Jerkoffs of the old ABA: the hot new jersey in the U.K. is that of Peruvian soccer club D. Wanka:...
Just Wake Me When It's Over
September, of course, is when baseball approaches my favorite part of the season — the end. I have no genuine qualms with the game or its fans; in fact, I can think of few more enjoyable ways to spend a sunny weekend afternoon than taking in a Greenville Drive game and enjoying moderately-overpriced...
Parlay O' the Week
Amateur athletics and gambling go together like bacon and hot fudge. Each weekend I will share some of my valuable college football gambling wisdom with you, the reader. Just remember, most of said "wisdom" comes from years of losing ridiculously speculative bets; when you lose all your money don't ...
The Gay Mafia Invade The Mothership
Oh, hello there. We, the fine gentleman from Kissing Suzy Kolber, have been charged with guiding you folks through this, the very first weekend of the NFL season. And we could not be more excited. Not only do we get to watch football, we also get to rush to the computer every five minutes to do HTM...
To Watch Tonight
What to watch as your book is translated into Apache ... • Basketball: Hall of Fame induction ceremony, Springfield, Mass. I'm pretty sure that international coach Mirko Novosel just fondled my buttocks! [ESPN Classic] • College football: Navy at Rutgers. Come back and fight, you cowards! I'm the Sc...
Here On ... CBSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This is without question our favorite. If you can actually watch this and stop yourself from saying, "You are looking LIVE! at Soldier Field in Chicago," you are a stronger person than we are....
What Kind Of Sports Bar Societal Dregs Will You Encounter During Week 1?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
ESPN Hires Salisbury Upgrade
ESPN's "NFL Sunday Countdown" has tried all sorts of gimmicks to move the ratings dial up a tick, most famously hiring Rush Limbaugh to defend the long-persecuted white quarterback. But now they're trying something we wouldn't have even thought of: They're bringing in a 10-year-old....
Bill Romanowski, Method Actor
You might remember, back in April, when Rick told you about the upcoming film in which Bill Romanowski plays a gay cowboy. (How could you forget?) The move is called Weiners. And now there's a disturbing publicity still....
Colts Fans Are Staying Hungry
Not the best of seats for this family, but it's closer to the snack bar. Plus, right after the game, I hear that he found the third Willie Wonka Golden Ticket!...
Wade Wilson's Totally Non-Flaccid Excuse
So here's something our Rick Ankiel could use as a defense, when he inevitably addresses the HGH story later today: He was trying to get a boner....
Man, The Colts Are Pretty Good
In case you had any question about it, the man in the white jersey is Jason David, former cornerback for the Indianapolis Colts, now corner for the Saints. He went against his old team last night. That shot of him, chasing somebody who has streaked past him? There are a lot of those....
No More Waiting Around; The NFL Is Back
You want to know how long it's been since there was some damned NFL football? The last time a game counted, we glogged it. It seems like decades ago. And now, with your last chance for sign up for the Pick 'Em Pool, we welcome an actual live season....
It's The AFC West Pants Party
OK, this is finally the last one of these. Thanks for hanging in, everybody. This might be the most lopsided division in the NFL, Norv or no Norv....
It's The AFC South Pants Party
Come on, somebody ... don't pick the Colts. We dare ya. Some picks! • AJ Daulerio: Colts, Titans, Jaguars, Texans. • Kissing Suzy Kolber: Colts, Jaguars, Texans, Titans. • Robert Weintraub, Slate: Colts, Jaguars, Titans, Texans. • Matt Pitzer, USA Today: Colts, Titans, Texans, Jaguars. • Aaron Sc...
The Norv Turner Watch Begins
You might remember the greatness that was Stop Shuler, the site that was devoted to keeping Heath Shuler out of Washington, not because of his politics, but because of his quarterbacking. Well, those guys are back, and with an even more noble target. Duck, Chargers fans....
Introducing Big Daddy Drew's Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo
We are extremely excited to introduce Kissing Suzy Kolber's Big Daddy Drew's brand new column, which will run every Thursday during the NFL season. It'll preview the weekend's action, occasionally digress and mostly revel in the joy and anticipation we all feel at the end of every week, knowing th...
It's The AFC North Pants Party
Three fascinating teams in the AFC North ... and then the one that has Brady Quinn. What's not to like?...
NFL Season Preview: Dallas Cowboys
Believe it or not, folks, the NFL season is much closer than you can possibly imagine. So close, in fact, that it's today. That's close....