f Page 945 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

The Good NFL Quarterbacks Are Falling Apart
Even leaving aside the headaches and nausea that are specific to the fans of the Jets and Giants, and the flu-like symptoms that universally apply to all AFC South games, watching the NFL does something to a person. You may sit down in front of a game as a normal human—again, not applicable to Jets ...

Kirk Cousins Isn’t Worth A Shit
Drew Magary’s Thursday Afternoon NFL Dick Joke Jamboroo runs every Thursday during the NFL season. Email Drew here. Buy his book here....

New York Giants Get Tired Of Mike Francesa Telling Them They Stink, Cut Ties With His Show
Mike Francesa has really stepped in it this time. The sleepy goofus had a standing weekly interview with New York Giants head coach Pat Shurmur every Monday on WFAN, but the relationship between grouchy radio host and grouchy organization has reached its breaking point. Shurmur said today he will no...

There's Nothing More Predictable Than Mike Leach Suddenly Having Dumb Thoughts About Homeless People
College football coaches tend to be graded on a steep and extremely generous curve when it comes to their personalities. How well they do or don’t do their jobs is easy enough to assess, because it creates a binary win/loss record that reflects the sum of the players they recruit and the assistants ...

Stop Celebrating Bruce Bochy's 2,000th Victory
Bruce Bochy nailed down his iconic 2,044th victory as a major-league manager Wednesday in Boston, because let’s face it, nothing says greatness quite like a large round number. And if 2,044 isn’t round enough for you, then your entire life has been a lie....

FIFA Releases Meaningless Statement Condemning Iran's Ban On Women In Soccer Stadiums
An Iranian woman recently died from from self-inflicted burns after she was arrested for trying to attend a soccer match in the country, and her death has brought renewed scrutiny to Iran’s law that bans women from entering soccer stadiums. FIFA, an organization always eager to do the bare minimum i...

How Two Kentucky Farmers Became Kings Of Croquet, The Sport That Never Wanted Them
On a sunny September Sunday in 1982, Mark Burchfield, a 20-year-old tobacco farmer from rural Kentucky, stood in Manhattan’s Central Park, getting ready to take the most important croquet shot of his life....

UFC Fighter Says He Didn't Lose Fight Because He Tired Himself Out Doing Unnecessary Backflips
Top-level MMA can be an extremely technical sport, with fighters adjusting to their opponents’ habits every minute and doing their best to pick up on the smallest quirks in timing and technique. That said, it can also be a hilarious dumb-guy ballet, which brings us to UFC fighter Michel Pereira....

Felipe Vázquez Charged With Statutory Sexual Assault Of 13-Year-Old
Hours after Pirates closer Felipe Vázquez was arrested yesterday in Pittsburgh on behalf of Lee County (Florida) authorities for a pair of child solicitation charges, he was also charged in Pennsylvania’s Westmoreland County with a slew of felonies that includes statutory sexual assault....

Show Us Your Best Sam Darnold Memes, Using This Generator
Our old pal Tim Burke went and made a generator for that wonderfully incongruent graphic of Jets quarterback Sam Darnold that aired this week during ESPN’s Monday Night Football. Try it for yourself!...

Heartwarming: Paul Finebaum Gets His Ass Handed To Him Over Lazy Cam Newton Take
ESPN made some good TV this morning. ...

The Jets' Nightmare Offseason Keeps Getting Worse
Two seasons ago, the Winnipeg Jets were a dark horse Cup contender, and then, for a brief moment, actual Cup favorites, and playing like it. It didn’t happen for them, but they returned largely the same roster the next. 2018 was a step back, with a first-round playoff exit—though to the eventual cha...

Alyssa Thomas Couldn't Lift Her Arms Above Her Head, But She Carried A Team To Victory
The Connecticut Sun left the first game of their best-of-five semifinals series against the Los Angeles Sparks Tuesday night not only with a 84-75 win, but also with a narratively sweet one. For a season, the No. 2 Sun have felt like the WNBA’s most underrated team, beloved by their women’s basketba...

Abysmal New York Basketball Team Wins Draft Lottery
Here’s something to make a Knicks fan weep: In January, the New York Liberty threw off the yoke of James Dolan. Tuesday evening, for the first time in franchise history, they secured the first pick in the 2020 WNBA draft....

Struggling Kicker Adam Vinatieri Says He Won't Retire Yet, But He Has "Demons" In His Head
The Indianapolis Colts’ 46-year-old kicker Adam Vinatieri has looked depressingly mortal through the first two weeks of the NFL season. In two close games, he’s missed a total of two field goals and three extra points. Because Vinatieri’s an NFL all-timer, he might escape the fate that would’ve alre...

This Might Finally Be It For Eli Manning
“They absolutely are this bad,” Barry Petchesky wrote about the New York Giants exactly 365 days ago. The team had just lost to the Dallas Cowboys in a supremely listless Monday Night Football appearance. I watched it with a friend who was visiting from out of town amid a rapidly thinning crowd in a...

NFL Coaches Need To Stop Kicking Themselves
In the 2017 season the Philadelphia Eagles went for it on fourth down 29 times, most in the NFL. Doug Pederson’s decision to go for it a bunch worked, and what’s more, every observer agreed that it worked. The Eagles went 13-3 and won the Super Bowl with their backup quarterback....

The Fuck Is Wrong With Announcers Who Won’t Call A Football A Ball?
Today, we’re talking about trailers, crossing state lines, Sean’s friend Bruce, drunken coaches, and more....

The Sport That Can't Stick To Sports
Dublin beat Kerry 1-18 to 0-15 on Saturday to take their fifth straight All-Ireland football championship, and become the first team to five-peat in the history of the Gaelic Athletic Association’s annual national inter-county tournament. And we’re talking a long history: Dublin and Kerry first face...
![Pirates Closer Felipe Vazquez Arrested On Child Solicitation Charges [Update]](https://images.deadspin.com/tr:w-900/fpdlvnjunulsnaiwgmqb.jpg)
Pirates Closer Felipe Vazquez Arrested On Child Solicitation Charges [Update]
The Florida Department of Law Enforcement announced Tuesday that Pirates closer Felipe Vazquez was arrested in Pittsburgh and booked in Allegheny County Jail, where he will await extradition to Lee County (Florida) to face one count of computer pornography - solicitation of a child and one count of ...