ff Page 351 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights

Blake Griffin Picked Up A Cool New Skill In The Offseason (Throwing Shoes At People)

They say the summer is a time to refine your game, learn new skills, and hone your craft. Blake Griffin took that to heart, apparently, and his new skill is cool as hell. It’s throwing shoes at opponents. Cory Joseph probably thought he was not going to catch Jamal Crawford’s size 17 to the mouth to...

Madison Bumgarner Remains A Postseason Demigod

The San Francisco Giants are headed to the NLDS once again, after Madison Bumgarner shut down the Mets and the offense managed a lone moment of competence tonight to get the team a 3-0 win. The Even Year Gods have smiled down on the Giants once again, and they’re headed to Chicago just a few short w...

Here's The Guy That Toronto Police Say Threw A Beer On The Field Last Night [Update]

It looks like a ghost was, in fact, not responsible for throwing that beer can at Hyun Soo Kim last night. This afternoon, the Toronto Police released a photo of the guy they say did it, and he looks like a henchman of ill repute. They released a short statement along with the photo:...

This Is The Closest We've Gotten To Finding The Beer-Throwing Blue Jays Fan

The police have not yet identified the shithead Blue Jays fan that tossed a beer at Hyun Soo Kim last night, who the team said was able to slink off into the night before security could apprehend them. This, despite the rigorous work done by certified expert internet investigators such as myself. Wh...

Report: Machete-Wielding Man Killed After Breaking Into Colorado Football Offices [Update]

A man armed with a machete entered Colorado’s Champion Center—the Buffaloes’ state of the art sports medicine and football complex—early Wednesday morning. The suspect was shot and killed by police in a stairwell, per a report from The Daily Camera. The police received the first distress call around...

We’re simulating tonight’s National League wild card game between the Giants and the Mets in Baseball Stars for NES, and it’s LIVE:...

Root For The Mets In The Playoffs

The 2015 National League champions coasted on a sea of subpar second-place teams to home field advantage in the bullshit crapshoot that is the one-game wild card playoff (can’t wait!). More than half of their Opening Day bevy of shampoo-commercial starters have been sidelined with injury but between...

Root For The Giants In The Playoffs

Here we are again. ...

Buck Showalter Fucked Up

I watched Buck Showalter neglect to use his lights-out closer in the ninth and tenth and eleventh innings of a tied, loser-goes-home baseball game, and I watched it work for two of those innings! All I can say is: I’ve seen people at the blackjack table hit on 17 and get 21, too. I’ve never seen any...

Edwin Encarnacion Hit A Walk-Off To Goddamn Mars To Put The Blue Jays Through

The Blue Jays beat the Orioles in the eleventh inning of tonight’s Wild Card game thanks to a huge three-run dinger from Edwin Encarnacion. Encarnacion was the third batter that Ubaldo Jimenez faced after he came into the game with one out in the eleventh. He allowed both baserunners to reach on sin...

Jeff Van Gundy Advocates Zero-Tolerance Policy For Domestic Violence Offenders

The Houston Rockets and New York Knicks met in the preseason this evening, and ESPN announcer Jeff Van Gundy used the occasion of Derrick Rose’s first appearance with the Knicks to make some points about domestic violence and how Adam Silver and the NBA should deal with players who are convicted of ...

Jose Bautista Kicks Off MLB Playoffs With Towering Dong

Hell yeah buddy, the MLB playoffs are back. Jose Bautista hit a tall dinger to score he first run of the postseason in the second inning. Bautista got way under this 3-1 pitch from Chris Tillman, but that didn’t matter, since he hit it to the dang moon....

Root For The Blue Jays In The Playoffs

The unruly Bat Flip Boys are at it again. A year after bashing their way through the AL East and into the hearts of scalawags everywhere, the Toronto Blue Jays have made the playoffs (or at least the watered down, expanded version of the playoffs) in consecutive years for the first time since winnin...

Root For The Baltimore Orioles In The Playoffs

The Baltimore Orioles gave up their chance at a glorious regular season in fits and starts, but mostly in one four-day span from Sept. 19-22, when they hosted the first-place Boston Red Sox at Camden Yards for a four-game series in which they were swept, losing by scores of 5-2, 5-2, 5-1, and 5-3. W...

Dane Cook’s MLB Postseason Campaign Tortures My Memory Like An Unconfessed Murder<em></em>

With the MLB postseason comes high stakes, a tense and entertaining atmosphere, and some of the best talent in professional sports. And yet as I prepare for the best part of the baseball season, one slogan writhes around in my brain like a maggot and refuses to leave: There’s only one October....

A Complete-ish History of Donald Trump's Obsession With His Ideal Woman, His Own Daughter

Earlier today, the Associated Press published a report detailing accusations that, in the course of making The Apprentice, Donald Trump had serially demeaned, belittled, and harassed women involved in the making of the show. The anecdotes were creepy and familiar—rating “female contestants by the si...

Root For The Red Sox In The Playoffs

The Red Sox have barreled their way into yet another postseason after finishing last in the AL East in the two seasons since they last won the World Series. The Sox crashed their way to the third seed in the AL on the strength of an 11-game September winning streak, involving three straight series s...

Blue Jays, Orioles, Giants Win; Disturbed Fans Who Anticipated Tiebreaker Games Lose<em></em>

Baseball’s postseason is set after a day that brought promises of excitement like we saw on the final day of 2011's regular season but delivered the most predictable and boring result as all three teams that controlled their own destiny won, shutting out the pretenders that hoped to force tiebreaker...

Bills-Patriots Pregame Warmups Turn Into A Big Shoving Match

The Buffalo Bills and New England Patriots couldn’t wait until kickoff to start hitting each other. These guys are mad!...

Today's Baseball Games Could Turn Into Postseason Chaos

It’s the last day of baseball’s regular season, and all division titles have been clinched for the better part of a week now, but the wild cards leave plenty of meaningful matchups today. Three spots are open, with some home-field advantage up for grabs in the American League, so six of today’s 15 g...