ff Page 396 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Drew Magary Won <i>Chopped</i> Last Night And It’s A Goddamn National Disgrace
So imagine my surprise when I logged onto Deadspin last night and found that serial child abuser Drew Magary was participating on Chopped. That due to some combination of threatening the producers with a kitchen knife and Shibbolethian fecal rituals, he had managed to convince them that he knew how...
Our Very Own Drew Magary Is A Contestant On <i>Chopped </i>Tonight
Longtime readers may recall that your friend and mine Drew Magary applied to be an amateur contestant on Chopped, the Food Network’s allegedly very popular cooking show, back in July 2012. Well, he made it on, and the episode airs tonight at 10 p.m. EST. (He is one of the four people to the left.) I...
LeSean McCoy Says Chip Kelly Doesn't Respect Star Players
It’s been two months since LeSean McCoy was traded from the Philadelphia Eagles to the Buffalo Bills in one of the more shocking NFL trades in recent memory. It was Eagles head coach Chip Kelly—who’s spent his first offseason with full power over personnel decisions doing all kinds of crazy shit—who...
UFC Hires Former IRS Shitbag, Presumably To Oppress Its Athletes
The UFC, lately embarrassed by its fighters failing a lot of drug tests, has hired shitbag/former IRS agent Jeff Novitzky, best known as beloved baseball legend Barry Bonds’s persecutor, to be its “Vice President of Athlete Health and Performance.” This seems like a high-falutin’ and more than faint...
Matt Stafford Traveled Through Time To 2005 And Got Married
Lions quarterback Matt Stafford got married over the weekend—congratulations to the happy couple!—and based on pictures that were taken at the event, it appears that he and his wedding party managed to travel through time and hold the ceremony in 2005, the last time trucker hats were a thing....
Jeff Green Dunk Annihilates Entire Nation
Jeff Green threw down a dunk during tonight’s game against the Wizards that certainly shook anyone and everything associated with Washington, D.C. that we should expect to awake tomorrow to pure and unadulterated anarchy....
Actual Crack Smoker Rob Ford Elected To Hockey Hall Of Fame Board
Toronto’s former crack-smokin’, councilwoman-knockin’ mayor Rob Ford has been appointed to the Hockey Hall of Fame’s board of directors, according to the Canadian Press. ...
Report: NFL Set To Hire First Female Official
According to the Baltimore Sun’s Aaron Wilson, the NFL has hired the league’s first-ever female official....
Goddamn It, I Melted A Cutting Board In The Oven
Jolie Kerr is a cleaning expert and advice columnist. She'll be here every week helping to answer your filthiest questions. Are you dirty? Check the Squalor Archive for assistance. Are you still dirty? Email her....
The Lame Clippers Crowd Made Blake Griffin All Sad
Last night's game between the Warriors and Clippers, a nationally televised contest between two powerful conference rivals, was one of those games that's supposed to come with a "playoff atmosphere," featuring the home fans going nuts and chanting mean things at the visitors and causing all kinds of...
Listen To These 14 Great Rap Albums From 2015
It's not even April yet, and it has already been an excellent year for new music. Like, shockingly excellent. Drake dropped an wonderful surprise album, while Kedrick Lamar unleashed his much-anticipated follow-up to 2012's Good Kid M.A.A.D. City. We also have the promise of new albums from Kanye, R...
Blake Griffin Unveils The Karate Block
When you're a power forward with T-Rex arms, you have to go looking for more creative ways to go about blocking shots. Thanks to Blake Griffin, all the short-armed big men out there have a new move to try....
Daniel Bryan WWE HOF Speech: Wrestling's Fake, But Here's A Real Story
Daniel Bryan's WWE Hall of Fame induction speech for child cancer victim Connor "The Crusher" Michalek not only brought the pro wrestling superstar to tears but also—to the shock of some viewers—tore down the façade of wrestling storylines multiple times, admitting that "everything I've done...is ...
Blake Griffin's Austin Rivers Impression Is So Cold And So Accurate
Clippers guard Austin Rivers is very bad at basketball. We know this. His father, head coach Doc Rivers, must know this. Blake Griffin definitely knows this....
In "A Whole New Low," Buffalo Fans Cheer Sabres' Loss
Above is video of Sam Gagner's overtime goal to put the Coyotes over the Sabres. The game was in Buffalo, yet the crowd cheered the Arizona winner. Cheered loudly, and spontaneously, to the point where if you're not a hockey fan, you might wonder if Coyotes fans travel particularly well. (They do ...
Rondae Hollis-Jefferson Returns After Brutal Looking Knee Injury
Arizona sophomore forward Rondae Hollis-Jefferson suffered this heinous looking knee injury in the first half of the Sweet Sixteen matchup with Xavier. Hollis-Jefferson limped off the court to the locker room to receive treatment, but rejoined the sideline about five minutes later. Rachel Nichols ...
Chandler Parsons Has Bad Style; Richard Jefferson Is Bad At Bargaining
How much would you pay for this Van’s Idylwild Cheetah Snapback? $5? $0? How about if you were buying it off of some guy’s gross, sweaty, lice-filled head? Maybe somebody would have to pay you to take it? If so, you have better taste than Richard Jefferson and Chandler Parsons. ...
How to Talk To Your New Girlfriend About Your Ex
First and foremost, congratulations on the decision to put your fuck parts together with another person's fuck parts in a more meaningful way than you were putting fuck parts together with others during the abysmal slog through Tinder you've been on since your break-up. Things are probably great: yo...
A Good Michael Scott Moment
This is an underrated, fantastic Michael Scott moment. He looks like he's about to break at a few points. It's perfect....