ff Page 544 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Beckham's Torn Achilles Moves British Poet Laureate To Write Dreadful Verse
"[T]his poem is written," Carol Ann Duffy announces, "to draw a parallel with Achilles, who gave his name to Beckham's injury." Uh-oh....
Extinct Michigan Wolverine A Metaphor For Something, Probably
Because no one reads the newspaper, and SportsCenter's anchors are too perky for this early in the morning, Deadspin combs the best of the broadsheets and the blogosphere to bring you everything you need to know to start your day....
Lane Kiffin: Pretty Pretty Princess
Esquire's 64-person "Sexiest Woman Alive" bracket has one hell of a sleeper 16 seed: Lane Kiffin. (To be fair, he does look great in culottes.) Voting decides the winner, so I think you know what you have to do. [Esquire]...
Calipari On Buccigross: "He's A Jagoff"
Kentucky coach John Calipari talked with SportsCenter today. Wrapping up, he had the chance to say something to ESPN's John Buccigross. Calipari proceeds to call him a "jagoff" yet again. H/t reader Tyler for the video....
And Joe Lunardi Re-Enters Cryopreservation
As you enjoy the NCAA selection show and prepare to enter your own office pool, one of our readers shares a co-worker's concept of a bracket that boggles the mind....
Evil Russians, Selfish Canadians Go To War Over Rubber And Graphite
Just when you thought the drama over Sidney Crosby's misplaced gear had subsided, representatives from two nations go to war with the Hockey HOF over ownership. The antagonists are a private collector from Russia, and...the city of Vancouver?...
Al Jefferson Busted For DWI, Maybe Definitely
Certainly, some Al Jefferson with the same birthday as the Wolves center got pulled over and charged with a DWI last night. If Rand says it's so, then it's so. [Hennepin County Sheriff]...
David Geffen Knows This Song Is About Him (UPDATE)
Carly Simon has apparently revealed the subject of "You're So Vain," and it's David Freaking Geffen, who is gay. (Um, "wife of a close friend"?) Better him than Cat Stevens, I guess. (UPDATE: Or not!) [The Sun, via UkraineNotWeak]...
Arrested Bobsledder Has Colorful, Checkered Past
American bobsledder Bill Schuffenhauer was arrested, after allegedly assaulting his fiancée. It's another sad episode in the life of a man who always seems to find trouble....
I Do Not Believe Hillary Duff Is Actually Giving Mike Comrie A Blowjob In This Photo
But it looks like she is. Comrie reportedly spent $1 million on Duff's ring. He did not go to Jared. [BarstoolSports, Jr. and Bauer Griffin]...
Barry Bonds Keeping In Game Shape With Diet, Contempt For Public
Surprisingly, Dodgers fans were able to get between Bonds and his chicken and waffles, and still escape with their lives. One autograph hound, though, managed to touch a sore spot....
Last Night's Winner: Lane Kiffin's Affinity For Young Teenage Boys
In sports, everyone is a winner-some people just win better than others. Like Lane Kiffin, who's already made a cannonball splash at USC thanks to an aspirational verbal commitment from a 13-year-old boy....
More Vanilla Ice With My NBA, Please: A Canadian's Perspective
Last night, at the Raptors-Nets game, Vanilla Ice inexplicably appeared as the halftime entertainment. Resident Canadian high-end potato salesman, Gourmet Spud, was in attendance. He filed this report....
The One Where Some Vindictive Lady Sends Us Pictures Of Matthew Stafford Making Out With His Girlfriend
Due to that awful stomach virus going around, I was unable to get to Deleted Scenes on Friday. Thanks for your concern. So this week you get a double-shot of unseemly Deadspin Deleted Scenes today and Friday....
Robbie Alomar's Canadian Consolation
Forget Cooperstown; Alomar's heading to the Canadian Baseball Hall of Fame! To give you a sense of its prestige, his co-inductee will be Paul Quantrill. [Globe And Mail]...
Surprise Surprise, The Hall Of Fame Gets It Wrong
Despite his very public preference to go in as a Cub, Andre Dawson's HOF plaque will see him wearing an Expos cap. This is all Wade Boggs's fault. (Really.)...
Sex Offender Comes Full Circle With Softball Coach
A softball coach is out of a job because her sex offender husband has been volunteer coaching the team. His criminal record: molesting the coach, when she was a high school student 25 years his junior....
Greg Oden's Gigantic Penis Is Also Healing Nicely
GOOD LORD. What the hell's gotten into Greg Oden? First he's spotted in a bright orange novelty T-shirt and now, he's one of the many too-proud athletes to snap a naked photo of himself in the bathroom. ABSOLUTELYNSFWORYOURMASCULINITYAFTERTHEJUMP....
Ryan Miller: Party Animal
This should cheer you up. While visiting San Jose, the Buffalo Sabres were booked in the same hotel as a furry convention. (That happens a lot, apparently.) [Thanks to Chris B. for the photo.]...
Your AFC Championship Open Thread
Miss Indiana and Miss New York duke it out for your fandom (ignore the fact that it should probably be Miss New Jersey). Slobber over your QB of choice in the comments. (Photo: Jim Cooney, BRAINtrust Marketing + Communications)...