ff Page 601 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Free Darko Playoff Pants Party: Cavaliers Vs. Wizards
With last night's wrapup of the regular season, the playoff matchups are set. There are eight conference quarterfinal contests, and the whole shebang kicks off this Saturday....
Free Darko Playoff Pants Party: Heat Vs. Bulls
With last night's wrapup of the regular season, the playoff matchups are set. There are eight conference quarterfinal contests, and the whole shebang kicks off this Saturday....
Free Darko Playoff Pants Party: Raptors Vs. Nets
With last night's wrapup of the regular season, the playoff matchups are set. There are eight conference quarterfinal contests, and the whole shebang kicks off this Saturday....
Finally, The Playoffs Are Set
You know, for a regular season that, all told, was rather lackluster, the NBA first-round playoff matchups look rather compelling. The Raptors-Vince Carter reunion is self-explanatory, but we also have Kobe against the Suns again, the Spurs against Carmelo and Iverson, a truly solid and evenly match...
The NBA Season Finally Comes To A Close
Tonight's the last night of the NBA regular season — it's only been going on since freaking October — and we say goodbye to a rather limp sked we're hoping will be redeemed by the playoffs. Up for grabs tonight? That last playoff spot in the West — which the Clippers appears to have given up on — an...
Beer That Makes You SKINNY!
During the NHL Playoffs, your fans need to bust out the big guns if they're going to appropriately cheer your team onto victory. Your normal selection of Molson and elk bile isn't gonna do it; you're gonna need to start chugging the heroin beer....
Versus Still Working Out The Kinks
Late Wednesday night/Thursday morning, the Dallas Stars and Vancouver Canucks were in the midst of a four-overtime marathon game. Henrik Sedin took a pass from his brother Daniel, aimed to get a shot past Dallas goalie Marty Turco, and hey, could I interest you in the Winsor Pilates total body fitne...
NHL Western Conference Playoff Pants Party
OK, here's the second half of copyranter's NHL Playoff preview. We still haven't figured out what channel most of these games are on, by the way....
Fun With Facial Hair!
One of our favorite subplots of every NHL playoffs slate is the growing of a playoff beard. Because we didn't start puberty until we were 26, we still cannot grow a beard — honestly, we're barely a mammal — so we look at the tradition with envy. A solid playoff beard can foster team unity or, in a p...
NHL Eastern Conference Playoff Pants Party
Now that you have your playoff beards and your Molson, you should be ready for some NHL Stanley Cup Playoff action. One of the reasons we love the NHL Playoffs is that it's possible for games to last eight hours. At the end, everyone dies. Fun to watch....
Ladies And Gents, It's The NHL Playoffs
And you thought we forgot about hockey! Canuck, please!...
Cultural Oddsmaker: Who's the Next Minor League Mascot to Get All Dirty?
AJ Daulerio's Cultural Oddsmaker runs every Friday. Email him to let him know what you think....
You Know What Michael Vick Needs? Jeff George
With Matt Schaub having been traded to Houston, the Atlanta Falcons are in need of a backup quarterback. With Jeff George not having been good enough to break through the deep and talented Raiders QB depth chart last year, Jeff George needs a job. Sometimes, in situations like these, karma has a way...
NCAA Tournament Live Blog: Thursday, 12:20 p.m.
All right, kids, it's time: Any minute now, the first game is going to tip off, stepping up at 12:20 p.m. with Davidson vs. Maryland in Buffalo. Here are the first three games:...
Ben Affleck Wants To Brainwash Your Baby
Anyone who has seen Daredevil — or anything, really — knows that a new Ben Affleck video is cause for genuine concern. But this news is even more terrible than you might imagine; it seems that the rabid Red Sox enthusiast is after your baby....
I Was A Fugitive From An NCAA Basketball Office Pool Chain Gang
So you say that you were with Dr. Martin Luther King during the protest at Selma? Ha, that's nothing. We marched with Representative Kim Meltzer (R-Mich.) during her courageous fight to make NCAA basketball tournament office pools legal....
The Money's Out There, You Pick It Up, It's Yours
Let's get caught up again with the orgy of NFL free agent activity. If you're an NFL player, and your agent couldn't work it out so you were a free agent this off-season, you should probably fire him....
NFL General Managers Make It Rain
The first twenty-four hours of the NFL's free agency period have come and gone. There was a flurry of activity last evening ... let's get ourselves caught up....
Drug Dealers Are Terrible Character Witnesses
Time for a Pacman Jones update, because now that all the newspapers are finally catching up on the story of his weekend in Vegas, we figured we should help keep them updated. (With a local TV news, of course.) Turns out, one of Pacman's buddies is a drug dealer in Tennessee, and he was taped recentl...
... Or, As The NHL Calls It, 'Thursday'
For those who like their NHL violence varied and wanton, we present Thursday's Ottawa at Buffalo matchup, which makes the Spanish Inquisition look like a tickle fight. The Sabres' 6-5 OT win featured 100 total penalty minutes, with eight penalties for fighting, four for hooking, two for instigating ...