fifa Page 17 - Sports News, Headlines & Highlights
Even Carlo Ancelotti Wishes Sepp Blatter Would Shut The Fuck Up
FIFA has released its Ballon d'Or shortlist, which means Sepp Blatter can take time away from his day job of punching up FIFA propaganda and gets to enjoy some of that media facetime he loves so much. Like you, Real Madrid manager Carlo Ancelotti would prefer Sepp spared us his hot takes....
Report: To Escape Qatari Heat, World Cup Matches Might Start At 1 A.M.
Despite overwhelming evidence of corruption, it doesn't look like Qatar will be losing its 2022 World Cup hosting privileges. Which still leaves that little problem of how to play in the heart of a Middle Eastern summer. One new proposal involves pushing back start times into the night and early mor...
Here's What I Learned Watching FIFA's Incredible Propaganda Movie
Recently, soccer fans all over the world were impressed to learn that United Passions, a FIFA-financed movie about how wonderful FIFA is starring Gérard Depardieu, Sam Neill, and Tim Roth, had pulled in $200,000 at the box office since it premiered at Cannes in May. This sum may be a bit less than t...
Top Female Soccer Players Sue FIFA Over Bullshit Artificial Turf
After weeks of pleading with FIFA to change its mind about playing the 2015 women’s World Cup on field turf instead of grass and being met with nothing but stubbornness, a handful of women’s soccer’s biggest stars have filed a lawsuit against FIFA to try and force the organization to put the upcomin...
FIFA's Independent Investigator Wants His Corruption Report Released
FIFA hired an outside investigator to conduct a probe into allegations of bribery in the bidding process for the Russia and Qatar World Cups. That investigator, a former U.S. federal prosecutor, has finally submitted his findings to FIFA with the expectation that they would eventually be released to...
One FIFA Executive Thinks Qatar Will Lose The 2022 World Cup
Everything about the 2022 World Cup in Qatar—from the scores of migrant workers who have died building stadiums and infrastructure, to the accusations of corruption, to the scorching heat that will make games unplayable—is shaping up to be a disaster. It is so bad that even one of the Bond-villain t...
FIFA Financial Watchdog Arrested For Corruption
If it surprises you to know that there's a FIFA financial watchdog group, you may find it less surprising to learn that one of the members of this group has been arrested on suspicion of corruption and money-laundering....
Soccer Parents Suing FIFA Over Its Handling of Concussions
You can now add FIFA to the list of sports institutions being sued over concussions. This latest litigation is brought forth by a group of soccer parents and players, who are filing a class-action lawsuit to change how soccer's governing body handles concussions....
<em>FIFA Weekly's</em> Sepp Blatter Profile Is A Marvel Of Propaganda
This week's edition of FIFA Weekly, a magazine that exists, for some reason, contains a short profile of FIFA president Sepp Blatter. It is one of the most rank and shameless pieces of propaganda ever committed to print. ...
2022 World Cup Final To Be Played In City That's Currently Not Real
The 2022 Qatar World Cup continues to be a disastrous exercise for the world's most beautiful game. In addition to the deadly slave labor and oppressive heat, a CNN article from Monday points out that the city expected to host the final, Lusail, still needs to be built: ...
FIFA Insists Women Play On Turf, Even Though They Hate It
The 2015 women's World Cup is still quite a long way off, but that doesn't mean that FIFA isn't already working hard on alienating the participants. No organization is better at being the worst than FIFA, except for maybe SMERSH....
FIFA Stands With Russia
In response to calls from critics to strip Russia of the 2018 World Cup for its ongoing disastrous human rights record, FIFA has come out firmly on Russia's side....
FIFA's Report On World Cup Bidding Corruption Won't Be Made Public
We all had a grand old time in Brazil, didn't we? But now FIFA has to stop ignoring the fact that many (most?) observers believe the bidding process for the forthcoming Russia and Qatar World Cups was fixed, or at least flawed. In response to the clamoring for an update, FIFA has released a statemen...
FIFA's First Post-World Cup Rankings Are Out
Yes, we all know FIFA's rankings are bad and pointless and the formula is arbitrary and flawed. But if there's one thing we (the human race) can't resist, it's things, ranked....
The Guest List For The World Cup Final Was Pretty Ridiculous
Daniel McDonnell of the Irish Independent tweeted out this list of VVIPs and heads of state in attendance at yesterday's World Cup final:...
Maradona Calls Messi's Golden Ball Win A "Marketing Plan"
Lionel Messi was awarded FIFA's Golden Ball, as best player of the World Cup, and it was sort of a cruel selection. Not only did it highlight that the world's undisputed best player became increasingly less visible as the tournament wore on, but it forced Messi to receive his trophy on the pitch, wh...
The "FIFA Corruption" Twitter Account Is Fake, Of Course
Shortly after Germany won the World Cup final 1-0, a Twitter account popped up claiming that the match was fixed, and it had some seemingly convincing evidence. Alas, it was a (clever) hoax....